Boasting Rights

Germanshepherdsmum

I cannot bear people boasting about their grandchildren. My eyes glaze over.

I consider the source. Enough said.

Floradora9

I saw my DGD interviewed on TV news to-night

I think most people would 'boast' about that .

I cannot bear people boasting about their grandchildren. My eyes glaze over.

I saw my DGD interviewed on TV news to-night

I don't mind people boasting about their grandchildren, but I really don't like it when people try to trump others. This happens in one group I belong to. Someone says that their grandson has got his first car, which is a second hand Corsa, and someone else has to point out that her grandson has a Porsche. Or one person is delighted that her grandchild has just got a degree and another 'casually' mentions that hers got a First from a 'top Oxbridge College'. It's one thing to be proud of your grandchildren, but putting others' loved ones down to do it is mean-spirited, I think.

There is a subset of people in what is otherwise a lovely group whose grandchildren (like their children, their husbands and their pets ) all got 'brilliant' exam results from 'highly selective' schools, and are doing 'exceptionally well' in their 'top' jobs with 'excellent' prospects. That sort of boasting is tedious, but a general sharing of grandchildren's lives is lovely, if it doesn't go on too long.

Urmstongran - I do feel that we disagree on quite a lot but I totally agree regarding boasting.

I feel it's always unpleasant and often embarrassing.
Obviously I praise the family achievements within the family and pass on nice things others may have said .. but 🙏 please don't go boasting about your grandchildren to me!

My sisters’ one son each never performed very well at anything, while my three did. I rarely told my family as I was endlessly criticised for “boasting”.
I do get a little fed up, though, when grandparents gush ad nauseum about their perfect grandchildren (who are frequently most unpleasant), hogging the conversation.

Well, I don't mind that this thread has been resurrected!

My DD let us know last night that our GS age 8 has been nominated as the recipient of a bursary for most sportsmanlike player in his lacrosse league. We're very proud! He won't know about it until Sunday when they have their league tournament.

We'll be waiting for a phone call from him!

And to be proud of our GC and boast about their accomplishments I think is a good thing. I do think that there needs to be a certain amount of restraint, since not all people want to hear about other's GC. As for this thread, it's easy enough to choose not to read it if you are not interested.

Why has this been resurrected? An ancient thread.

I miss DH so much and particularly when any of our DGC achieve something. I can't share the joy with anyone else for fear of provoking envy and scoffing from our other DC or boredom from friends.

I hope I do tell them all that they are marvellous because they are.

One of my Grandchildren, who has just left school, has received an award for being, out of about 175 leavers in the upper sixth, the student "most likely to make the world a better place"

I cannot imagine a better award.

Jaxjacky ah, I'd missed that dammit!

Why should that matter?

We Grannies still have boasting rights, do we not?

Lovely thread Granny23
But there's 'boasting' and there's droning on ad nauseam about the minutiae of your DGC's achievements isn't there? I'm careful not to be that person.

On a slightly different tack, during a conversation with DD2 about my first grandchild where she was bemoaning the fact that he seemed far too relaxed about his upcoming GCSEs she suddenly stopped. " I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this, he can do no wrong in your eyes can he?"
Nope. He's the first of many and I've loved him from the minute he was born.

OP is from 5 years ago.

I have just discovered this wonderful thread and I so agree with Granny 23 that we have every right to boast about the achievements of our wonderful grandchildren.

Their achievements have little or nothing to do with us in the way we might have tried to take credit for the achievements of our children. THey are their echievments and why should we not be proud of them?

Of course it's boring listening to the minutiae of the exploits of someone's grandchildren who you have never met and are not likely to. It's different with family and close friends but otherwise ............

Well done both of them Granny23. To me, the wonderful thing they did was phoned you when they got back. That shows DDs are doing a great job, and you are treasured. Priceless! Keep praising their achievements.

Back to report on the Inter Schools Quiz, which was held last night in the Town Hall.

16 teams in all, DGS's team came 5th and DGD's team was 6th so respectable result but no coconut. The main thing is they both thoroughly enjoyed the experience and phoned me when they got home to report.

Are you supposed to be that cruel to a set of drums?

Daughter sent me a video of grandson's latest pub gig. My God!!!

I don't think I'd boast about mine to anyone else. Would be boring for them. And for me probably.

Grandma70s, Thank you for understanding and getting the point.

I think there’s a fair bit of mean-spiritedness round here. I love to hear about children’s achievements (or non-achievements for that matter). I don’t find it at all boring.

I think M0nica talks a lot of sense. There is a sort of fear or resentment of academic or intellectual achievement in some circles it this country. If there is someone who does very well on , say, University Challenge, there will always be plenty of comments on social media calling them ‘smug’ or ‘arrogant’, when in fact they just know a lot and show no signs of either smugness or arrogance.

I think it's good to praise children (although not constantly becuse I think then it becomes meaningless and could create feelings of superiority and complacency). It is important that children are confident and outgoing but misplaced confidence can also be damaging. I think it is helpful to praise for time and effort expended rather than always focusing on the outcome.

I don't think it's a very good idea to "boast" about your children/grandchildren to other parents/grandparents. It can be quite upsetting and annoying for other people to be regaled with constant tales of your child's/grandchild's brilliance.

I suppose most parents/grandparents can't resist sharing especially good news sometimes but if it happens on a fairly regular basis it can, I think, be rather irritating.

As for someone saying "how awful, I would hate that" to a delighted expectant grandparent, that is the other side of the coin, and just plain mean.

Why shouldn't we praise our DGC, either to them or to our friends? I like to hear about my friends' DGCs' successes, and they seem to like hearing about mine. We have DGC who are sporty and some who are musical/dancers, and are delighted by their successes. We also love them if they make a total hash of whatever they are doing!