Boasting Rights

Interesting thread. Thinking about it I encourage and praise my GC when I am with them and, very occasionally, talk about them to other people if they ask or show an interest. (They are at a delightful age and say, and do, some very funny/upfront/occasionally wise things). I’m also careful to praise and encourage my DD/SIL both to their faces and to others as they are the ones now doing the ‘hard yakka’ of pulling together as a great team, bringing up well balanced and happy children, working, running a home and generally making a far better fist of it all than I feel I did!

Of course we can boast about our grandchildren, as long as we are not just ‘getting one over’ on other grans.

I have 3 healthy happy grand children, Don't know if they are super bright and don't care.

They are happy, healthy, and the 1st two are strong characters, the 3rd is still a baby. One of my grandchildren is not a people pleaser, and that is ok too.

I am proud of them and will say so. No problem with that.

It is boring. American women do it even more. As a crude rule of thumb those super achieving progeny do not. It is even worse when men do it, have been trapped in a shared task and for two hours all you can do is polite noises. A conversation is a dance for two.

My own DD was a head-in-the-air kid who walked round with her thumb in her mouth and looked as if she were in a dream half the time. She was also a little plump so seemed to present no threat to anyone.

Unfortunately for her she turned out to be super bright and her eleven plus result was so high she was given the pick of any grammar school in the county she wanted.

I couldn't boast about this. In fact I had to keep it as quiet as I could because overnight she was envied and hated by friends and family alike. One other mother gave her child hell for not beating my dippy little daughter in the exams.

Beware of boasting about the achievements of DC and DGC as it makes them the targets of the envious.

The bare truth is, that I am no more really interested in what friends or other people's GC have achieved than they are in mine, therefore I delicately brush off polite enquiries so that I don't have to reciprocate.
I bet people wouldn't be so forthcoming about their failures...eh?

Sounds like that friend isn't worth having Toots.

Surely we can give each a bit of leeway when it comes to grandchildren.

If someone asks, then tell them but otherwise, I think boasting is something to be avoided. I think it's okay, IF someone asks, to say something like "I've had a bit of good news today" share the information and then go onto talk about other things. We all need to be sensitive to the fact that other people may be going through all sorts of problems with their own children and grandchildren and listening to success stories will only make them feel worse, plus most people are just NOT interested in other people's children/grandchildren (hard I know, but true).

I too received no praise whatsoever as a child for any achievement, altho I overheard my mother “boasting” to a friend at what I’d done. Consequently I’ve always praised my 3, not OTT, just as a confidence boost. All 3 of mine have done exceptionally well in life and I have 5 amazing GC too. I am very wary tho with what I say with one of my close friends, whose 2 AC have both made such a mess of their lives in every aspect. It’s caused her so much distress over the years, so I answer her questions when she asks about my family But I try not to volunteer anything. Of course she can boast about a lifetime with a wonderful husband ..... whereas both my “ knights in shining armour” ended up asses in tin foil !!

Good for you Gabriella.

I think boasting takes on different levels... my children and gc have done many things worthy of boasting about but I don't tell unless asked by good friends, or if we happen to be having a chat about family.. likewise I will take an interest in the children and gc of family and close friends, and celebrate their achievements too... but the people who take over the conversation with a list of family achievements, without stopping for breath or asking about your family....sorry, no time for at all.. one particular friend in this category..if you managed to get a word in edgeways, would look disinterestedy at you, do the longest pause.....the biggest sigh.. like you'd deliberately interrupted her flow...then go "Yes, well anyway..as I was saying.." and carry on with her monologue, like you hadn't even spoken. Self-centered comes to mind!

Oh, I blow any and every trumpet ????I can lay my mitts on ?‍♂️?⚾️⚽️?⛷??‍♀️?‍♀️??????

Now that really is worth boasting about newnanny.I love hearing about the achievements of disadvantaged children and I admire anyone who takes on fostering.I have never done it myself but I have a close friend who has done it for all her adult life so I am well aware of the problems.

Hmm you've made me think. I do sometimes delight in sharing photos on my phone with my friends if they show the teeniest bit of interest. I hope I'm not guilty of bragging but like yours, mine are all exceptional!!!
Bright, industrius, brave, musical, artistic, affectionate, modest, kind and such good company. Truly. Some are sporty too. DGD has just represented her county in athletics.
I don't remember boasting about their parents. GPs can be more uninhibited.

My foster son (who is only a few years older than my dgs) has special needs but he was selected to play disability cricket for his county and now his county has won the Indoor National Championships so he is now a National Champion. we are so very proud of him because he has come so far since he has come to live with us and he is very kind and thoughtful with helping the younger children too.

I love hearing about the achievements of other people’s grandchildren. Boast away! I will happily listen.

My two have both passed rigorous entrance exams/assessments to two of the best and most oversubscribed schools in London. So there! I am immensely proud of them both.

Oh yes I know many people like that
I know most friends family names/details/birthdays etc. They don't even ask about mine. It makes me cross but then it's my own fault.

I feel the same way leyla a mention of any achievement is sufficient unless its a family group. I have a friend who tells me every boring detail of her family's life but never asks about my family and I doubt she even knows the names of my children.

Sorry again,G23 - I should have paid more attention and said "GC".

I can stand it for a while but when it is relentless, boasting of any kind irritates me. It's OK within the family but I wouldn't inflict it on others and don't appreciate it when they do it to me.

Sorry, Granny23, I meant to say that I am full of admiration for your knowledgeable GS. Perhaps in future they will figure on University Challenge.

Proud as I am of my GC, I wouldn't want to brag about the achievements of one or another because I don't want to encourage a spirit of competition between the two families. When I was young, it always irritated me when my granny sang the praises of my more musical cousins. I don't know if she told them about any achievements by me and my sisters!

Lovely news Granny23

I don't think it's boasting with most grandparents. Seriously, I hope I don't boast. We are all proud of our grandchildren. When I told a friend I was going to be a gran, she said 'oh how awful. I would hate that'. Now she has four grandchildren and she is besotted.