Son traumatised

I would take the meal and visit for half an hour maximum.

The new Mum nearly died and there is new life. It's a hell of a lot to take in.

Happy Birthday, it is so good to get such a positive outcome. Of all the horrible things they will remember about the birth there will be lots of happy ones too. Not least of these will be how you respected their wishes and showed great understanding.

Now you have years of fun ahead of you. Congratulations.

I would take a freezer meal, but don’t expect to stay to eat it.

Offer to make more meals as needed.

I’m glad they are home and recovering

Honestly I wouldn’t take much. She may be seriously overwhelmed still.
I hated it When my MIL would rock up with way to much stuff.
For this first visit I would just mention that you’ve grabbed some stuff and you can bring it again when they’ve had some rest.
The most important thing is to be patient. Of course you will want to get as much baby time as possible but after what your DIL went through she may be a bit possessive and out of sorts. Just go with her flow.

Goodness Cold, what a dreadful experience, do you still have flashbacks?

I was planning to take a meal they can pop in the freezer and use when short of time, naturally I have been stocking up on baby clothes, fluffy bunny, muslin cloths, pamper items for DiL, chocolates and wine for both of them, what would you take?

We've been told we can visit on Monday, hooray! Can't wait.

That's if I have recovered from serious partying tomorrow!

B9 Congratulations on the arrival of your new grandchild

I'm sorry to hear that the arrival was so traumatic for everyone and I hope things settle over the next few weeks. It will take time for all of them to come to terms with what happened.

I had a similar situation with DD1 - although my records show a "normal" delivery it was anything but as they lost her heartbeat. She was born not breathing and was whisked away by the paediatric crash team to the neonatal unit and I didn't see her again that day while I lost over 6 pints of blood and was taken for emergency surgery and specialist stitching under general anaesthetic and then spent around 5 hours in an HDU.

The day after birth was very surreal - I began to doubt that I had even had a baby and I was very unwell from blood loss and the approx 60 internal stitches (and I didn't even have a c-section). The following days passed in a blurr as the baby and I had tests and I had additional blood transfusions for until day 4.

Although dh is a hcp he was very shocked as he was left in an empty delivery room that was covered in blood. I developed PTSD and what we really needed on those early days post birth was a chance to process what had occurred. In some ways we were lucky as the hospital had a strict no visitor policy - only dads and sometimes baby's siblings were allowed on the post natal ward. Some mums left the ward to see visitors - for example they went to the hospital cafe - but I wasn't allowed to leave the ward.

I think the best advice is to let the new parents go at their pace and don't overwhelm them as the new mum will need a lot of rest after a traumatic birth. Ask if they need practical help such as shopping or taking a meal over.

I’m so glad to hear they’re home.
That’s truly horrific I really hope your DIL heals both physically and mentally. The midwives should be aware and ensure she has support.
Hope you have a fantastic birthday.

Oh Heavens B9ex, that does sound scary. No wonder your son was traumatised, what a frightening start to their new baby's life. I'm so glad all is well now and you've been in touch via WhatsApp call. That must have been so reassuring for you.

Just to round things up, they are now home, and we have seen them on a whatsapp call. It was worse than I realised, after the birth the crash team was called for both of them, but fortunately all seems well now.

Sleep well everyone!

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Ahaaa - cracked it!

{grin}

[smile[

Love it Gonegirl
I can't remember anything either.
Terrible isn't it?
I have no idea how I managed to bring two kids up on my own, have a full time demanding job which paid the mortgage thank the L* and have no MIL or Mummypops in sight to give me a hand!
Bring it on - the kids seem to have turned out okay...
{smile}

Congratulations on becoming a grandma, you will have lots of cuddles with him in the future. As others have said, they are probably exhausted both emotionally and physically. Don’t get too wound up about possible mental health problems, just let them know you are there for them if and when they need you.

He's not gay really. I live in hope some poor girl might stand still long enough to get snaffled up by him.

Does gonegirl need to know herself, or post on here what her sons preferences are?

LLL I can't be expected to remember what I said yesterday! I'm old.

]

[grin

I’ll get the popcorn .... ?

Has it occurred to you that he might be looking for a MR Right?

Pffttttt! Says the gran from the "non-snowflake generation," who specifically said this (read bolded words below) about her "snowflake generation," son who can't even seem to find "Mrs. Right in any generation including hers. So what does that say about YOU and your generation?

son hasn't found the right girl yet. Going by you lot I'm beginning to see why.

So you don't even know if your very own son is looking for Mrs. Right, Mr. Right or if he is just a Mr. Wrong?

This thread has just reduced to pettiness now. It's not even about the OP anymore, I think it's time people called it a day.

OP, I'm happy the situation is resolved and hope you get to meet your GC soon. And I hope you have a lovely birthday!

missing '?'