I would think long and hard about moving. I moved to Harrow to help my pregnant and disabled daughter, when the child was 1 year old she got pregnant again meaning I was looking after my grandson and both her and her husband, both treated me as a nanny/housekeeper. My daughter treated me abominably, the last straw came the day she said ‘I’m going to the gym, I’ll be a couple of hours, wash the conservatory floor while I’m out because husband has left dirty footprints on it’. No please or thank you! I had to get on my hands and knees to scrub off the ‘rubber’ marks from his shoes. Bear in mind I have arthritis in both hands. At that time I did used to smoke but always in the garden, when she got back she screamed at me that I’d smoked in her house, which I hadn’t. I told her husband that I’d had enough and I wouldn’t be coming back. He begged me not to leave him with her but I just couldn’t take any more of her abuse! I did try ringing her several times after a couple of months to try to make up but she refused to speak to me. GS is now 19, he did try to contact me on FB when he was about 14 but she checks everything he does on line and she blamed me saying I’d tried to get in touch with him. Luckily, my other D was with me when the message came through and she did tell her it was GS that had tried to contact me! We haven’t had any contact now for about 16years.
I have now taken the decision that my other children will NOT tell her if or when I’m taken ill or die and she is NOT to come to my funeral. I’m also sad that I can’t talk to my other D as much as I should because she will tell her what I have said as they do keep in touch. The sad thing is..,.I’ve had no contact with my GS or his sister.
I’m not saying your D will do this to you but if you have no friends or other relatives in the area you could end up being at her beck and call! Only you know your children best.