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Retirement Blues

(49 Posts)
Baraliam Wed 10-Apr-19 11:15:55

Having retired for the past 8 years and trying to find what retirement is , I have no clues. Its getting boring and I am unable to find my mojo? The jest of life has gone. No major mood changes except normal ageing. Looking for suggestion on how to regain the enthusiasm like before.

Urmstongran Wed 10-Apr-19 11:47:22

I suppose at first retirement was new and therefore exciting. Then it becomes the norm. I’m not a hobbyist (apart from reading) and I’m content. Others need more. I do hope you find your mojo soon. x

Teetime Wed 10-Apr-19 11:55:26

baraliam it does take time to find the things that you enjoy and you have to go down a lot of roads before you find the right one for you. It will come but you will need to 'risk' a few things first. Most importantly though make yourself go outside at the very least for a walk/cup of coffee every day, take the local paper for information on clubs and events, pop into your nearest library also for information. I wouldnt rush into joining things like U3A etc straight away - it doesn't suit everyone take your time and I am sure you will find retirement has something for you. flowers

Jane10 Wed 10-Apr-19 13:29:54

I always try to have something on every day Monday to Friday so that the weekends still feel different and special.

Clioh Wed 10-Apr-19 14:15:36

I retired 3.5 years ago, I also moved to a new area, and live alone. At first not going to work was fun and busy, with a new house to organise then the boredom set in....... I bought a puppy, (she’s 2.5 yrs old now!) I need to go out at least twice a day and meet all sorts of other dog walkers. I have a new network of people and it keeps me from being bored! Not for everyone, but I can’t imagine life without a dog now!

FountainPen Wed 10-Apr-19 14:17:03

This is a bit similar to the threads we have about loneliness when many people come forward with suggestions of things to do and organisations to join but without knowing what you are like and what your skills are it’s hard to say.

Some people like to do lots of different things, an activity for every say of the week while others like to immerse themselves in one big project. Some are self-starters and will relish setting up something from scratch, others prefer to get involved in something established and managed by others.

Can you give us a few pointers about you and your interests? Maybe what you did for leisure before you lost your mojo?

Grammaretto Wed 10-Apr-19 16:48:50

It's the lack of structure as well as loneliness and boredom after retirement which make you mislay your mojo..
After 8 years you surely have some idea of what you enjoy.
I never worked full time so don't have such a contrast and everything takes up more time now anyway..
like Jane10 I try to have something every day but then its holidays and classes stop.
Once when I felt rather purposeless I went to the volunteer bureau and began to help with RDA. I love horses so that suited me.
I've also helped at schools.
Lots of things are online now such as meetups. If you're looking for a pal to do things with.

M0nica Wed 10-Apr-19 17:17:42

Retirement is like marriage, you have to work on it. Just leaving work, saying what next and waiting for life to come to you is a recipe for boredom and misery.

The classic occupations are to get involved in voluntary work. Now one person's voluntary work is another persons purgatory, but I just googled 'My town volunteer centre' and the number and variety of volunteer opportunities that came up varied from school governorships, helping with a food bank, working in a charity shop, mentoring families and young people and many more. There is also the Mens shed This is exactly what it says a large communal shed where men get together for a bit of company and to do some of the things men do in sheds.

I do not know whether you live in a village, town or city, but your local library often has directories and lists of clubs and organisations in your area and you may find one that interests you. Ask your local Age UK, they usually arrange regular events and activities, it is not just day centres. They will have drop in coffee centres, they organise exercise classes and IT classes. Just go in and ask.

At the end of the day the ball is in your court. You need to look around at what is available locally, do not reject everything, choose one, then take hold of yourself by the scruff of the neck and take yourself there.

sodapop Wed 10-Apr-19 17:56:26

I agree with MOnica You have to get out there and make a new life in retirement, its not going to come knocking. Helping others is a good way to change things.

Floradora9 Wed 10-Apr-19 21:42:43

Having had to give up work 20 years ago I still wish I was back to where I used to work . It meant meeting lots of people and feeling fulfilled .

jeanie99 Wed 10-Apr-19 23:27:53

We are all different but the one thing we have in common is we now have the time to do all the things we never had time to do in our working lives.
When I first retired I really did take on too much voluntary work but now almost 13 years on I have a very contented life.
It's just finding the things which make you happy.

CarlyD7 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:26:29

I'm probably not a good example as I have a chronic health problem which keeps me at home a lot - so apart from a weekly yoga class, a monthly reading group and occasionally meeting up with friends, that's it. So, I've started fulfilling a lifelong ambition and am writing my first novel! It really depends on the individual. Hard to offer advice when we know so little about you - e.g. what you've tried in the past 8 years; are you someone who needs lots to do, or someone who is quieter and happy in their own company (but are getting too much of the latter)? What did you enjoy about your job? And BTW if you've lost your Mojo, don't ignore the possibility that you may be a bit depressed - and get help for that (otherwise everything will continue to look bland and boring).

phantom12 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:27:09

I, like many others am having to work an extra 6 years and would give anything to be able to retire. They say that we are living longer but this trend has now actually reversed lately because of austerity. We might be alive but not necessarily fit enough to work. I am pinning my hopes on the judicial review coming up in June and hope that someone will see how unfairly the pension changes were made.

Worthingpatchworker Thu 11-Apr-19 10:27:30

It’s a strange new phase of life to enter. It’s easy to disappear into the grey haired masses.
I tried the volunteering, worked for a while but had to stop. Now I’m settling into just doing what I want. I keep the house clean and tidy. Same for the garden. Washing and ironing and cooking.
The rest of the time I enjoy sewing and watching history .....
Do what you enjoy is the lesson I’ve learnt and, if I want to stay in my PJs all morning, I’ve earnt the right.

Sheilasue Thu 11-Apr-19 10:35:01

Loved being retired. I retired at 62, 12 years ago. It was strange at first I admit that, but you have to change your routine. You don’t have to get up as early, or if you like to get up early there’s that early morning cup of tea and the bbc news.
Friends to meet, joining a club out and about with dh.
No one breathing over your shoulder. Go on embrace it just do what you want to do.

Maz53 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:36:07

Do some voluntary work. I love being retired and NEVER bored. Go to the dr get an anti depressant and get moving. Join a walking club. Learn a new activity. For goodness sake get a grip.

Juliet27 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:39:23

I agree with Clioh. A dog can make such a difference to your life providing unconditional love, a reason to get out and meet other dog walkers and a constant companion. I’ve known people who, having said they’re not a dog person, later, having ended up with one, say they never realised what fun and affection they provide.

Lesleynb Thu 11-Apr-19 10:41:07

F you have your health and no regular commitments, why not ask about volunteering in your local charity shop or something similar
A great way to meet new people and also spending your time helping a worthy cause you will be glad to get home and close the door and enjoy the time spent on your own

grove1234 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:46:34

Join all groups that interest you Its a new and wonderful life .

GabriellaG54 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:52:44

MeetIos can be interesting. I joined a photography group and, whilst I have a Canon camera, I've found that most of the photos taken on my Samsung mobile are easily as good as the current crop of pro photos on that groups website.
There is nothing you could want to learn or indulge in that MeetUp groups cannot offer and costs are as low as £1 per MeetUp.
You can dip in and out as you like and pay the organiser on the day.
They email reminders and lists of up-coming events in your area but you can join any one further afield if you wish.
Good luck shamrock and enjoy.

GabriellaG54 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:54:01

Sorry. MeetUp, not MeetIos.

Mapleleaf Thu 11-Apr-19 11:01:43

I don’t think saying “get a grip” is very helpful. That’s like saying to someone suffering with depression (any degree of), “pull yourself together”.
We don’t even know if the original poster is suffering depression.
However, s/he is asking for help and advice, not criticism.
Also, we all have different personalities, and some people are happy always being out and about, others prefer their own company and many of us probably fall somewhere in between. Even so, there are times when we all lose our “mojo” a bit, and just need some ideas being put forward to help us.

MooM00 Thu 11-Apr-19 11:09:10

Baraliam, when I first stopped working I helped out a couple of mornings at a primary school listening to children read. After a year I went to do a par time foundation course at a college for 2 years. Then went on to be a volunteer at a children's nursery. Now I have grandchildren to look after and in my spare time I just love doing Lego. In fact I find it very theraputic and addictive. The other night about 9pm I thought I would do a bit of the lego Volkswagon Beetle when I stopped it was actually 3am in the morning. No wonder I needed a lie in the next morning.

Hm999 Thu 11-Apr-19 11:15:39

If you have hobbies, but lose your mojo, try making a specific time in the week to do them, maybe with other like-minded people, perhaps even people you don't know very well or even at all.

humptydumpty Thu 11-Apr-19 11:25:18

My friends who have retired think it's great, and I can't wait to join them! - no morning alarm, doing what I choose to do, plenty of time to fit in all the usual obligations (doctor, dentist etc.)