How to broach subject/support daughter

I suspected my GS was autistic, no speech, late walking repetitive games, favourite toys were numbers and letters. Although he was very loving, he wouldn’t make eye contact. My DD and SIL wouldn’t hear of autism, they were in total denial. Almost broke our relationship.
He was picked up through speech therapist and got an ASD diagnosis at 3.5 years. A tough learning curve for us all over the past couple of years. At a special school now, 5.5 year old, talking non-stop but very difficult to understand due to him transposing letter sounds. Good luck. x

My twin daughters were very delayed in speech, mainly due to the fact they had three older siblings who always knew what they wanted, etc.
When I attended their 2-year old check up, the 'Well Baby' Doctor was most concerned that I replied 'None' when asked how many words they used. Started to tell me about story reading to them etc. The HV - who knew the family well, rolled her eyes at his comments!!!
They started to talk three months later and, within a fortnight, had gone from single words to nearly full sentences. Both ended up with excellent degrees and Master Degrees. So, late talking has nothing whatsoever to do with intelligence.
One of G.sons had what is known as 'backtalk'. His language could not be understood. He, obviously knew what he was saying and became increasingly frustrated with our total inability to understand him. He seemed to have an extensive vocabulary, none of which could be understood. His Mum became reasonably adept at interpretation, but for the rest of us, including his friends at nursery, he was speaking a foreign language.
With a lot of effort they managed to get him referred to S&LT. Everyone was concerned that he would really suffer when starting full-time school, and his frustration at us all was resulting in some mild violent behavior.
S&LT gave him two lots of six sessions, diagnosed the problem and worked with him and also gave his parents exercises to do with him to get his speech back on track. Worked brilliantly and a year later, it was impossible to remember the problems. They said it would probably have started to sort itself out around the age of 6 or 7 years old, but everyone, particularly the child himself, is so glad they did not leave it that long.
He is now 9 years old and speaks beautifully. I actually remarked that he has no regional dialect, and his Mum (my daughter) explained to me that is due to the fact that he still has the original problem, but it is sorted out now as when he comes across any new word, he needs to see it written down then he can say it properly. Due to this, he speaks as he reads words, thus really good English!!!!

My MiL once told me that eldest BiL barely uttered a word until he was 3. She'd been getting very worried, but once he started, it came out in whole sentences.
Presumably he'd just been taking it all in and biding his time.
He later won a scholarship to Cambridge.

Nemosmum

Thank you

I have had a few messages and PM’s from former SaLT’s which are all very informative.

Flaxseed
Retired Speech and Language Therapist here: my last 6 years as a pre-school language specialist. Of course it's up to the parents, and it sounds as though Health Visitor is onto it, but if parents are feeling they are waiting too long, I can recommend contacting the children's communication charity ICAN.
I CAN Help Enquiry Service
Got a question or concern about a child’s speech and language development? You can speak to one of our speech and language specialists for advice and guidance by calling 020 7843 2544.
Talking Point
The Talking Point website has loads of great free resources to help parents and carers of children with speech, language and communication needs (SLCN), including a Progress Checker.
Incidentally, for the benefit of Lily65, please don't pour scorn on people's worries about their children. According to the latest research, autism can be reliably diagnosed from 14 months if the right assessments are used. Not that I think this is necessarily the case with this little one.

mysticalunicorn
Thanks but he has had a hearing test and he heard stuff DD didn’t! There were no concerns at all and he cooperated beautifully.

blondenana Thanks, I’ll look out for things like that.
He is and has always been very affectionate. He loves cuddles and is pretty laid back.

Funnily enough, since starting this thread, he does seem to have understood and tried to communicate more. DD2 said she asked him where his head and eyes were when she was looking after him at the weekend and he pointed to both.
Hopefully he will eventually catch up.

grandmainoz Are you actually living in Oz?
Sadly I think there are long waiting lists here should help be required. Does your GC live there too? It sounds like you are all getting great support there.

Lily65 I have stepped away from Google. I must learn to stay away

Grandmajan It’s the understanding that worries me more than the speech although hopefully that’s improving gradually. Glad to hear your GD is doing well. Such stories are reassuring

4allweknow Thanks! Fingers crossed

I did not utter a sound until 3. My DM was apparently beside herself with worry trying everything available at the time. When I did start to talk and being seen by a Dr I was asked why I didn't talk I replied 'I didn't want to'. We are all different and hopefully your DGS will be like me and start chattering soon.

He needs to have his hearing tested. I have come across this before and hearing was the answer. At the very least, try making noises behind him and see if he responds. If he doesn't then further hearing investigations are definitely the way to go.

* Flaxsee* maybe it is too early to worry bout your grandson, but i had the same concerns about one of mine, i had read an article about Autism and my grandson fitted all of the signs of Aspbergers syndrome,
I did voice my concerns to myson but of course he didnt want to know,
One of the signs was that they dont particularly like being hugged or even touched sometimes, also like things in a certain order,he wouldnt eat food if there were different things on his plate,they had to be put on different plates, also wouldnt even eat certain foods, and seemed to live on checken nuggets, he was a bit older than your grandson at this point, but he was assessed only at school age ,when he was very disruptive and had lots of tantrums, he is still picky with food though
My son had to often go and get him out of school because they couldnt cope with his rages almost, he was eventually diagnosed with Aspbergers, and went to a special school, which helped a lot
I hope your grandsons lack of speech is just being a bit slower for his age and nothing more, but watch for those signs,
Best wishes for you all
By the way he is now 23, and has a good job and is very intelligent, Aspbergers people usually are

My GC is "happy, loving, sociable" and also autistic. Pps maybe don't understand that autism is a very wide umbrella of a term.
GC still has delayed speech, often doesn't respond to questions. We're getting all the correct assistance and he's doing well. He's the light of our lives and the accommodations we have to make for him are well worth it.

flaxseed, my comment was perhaps rather foolish but I do think some are over eager to diagnose and beware of Dr. Google.
People develop at different rates, with our obsession with league tables and milestones, we seem to have forgotten that.

I’m a qualified Health Visitor and from professional and personal experience just because a child doesn’t start talking later than most children do doesn’t mean they will have speech delay. Once they start having Speech & Language Therapy they catch up very quickly. My granddaughter didn’t utter a word until she was over 2 years old. She’s now 10 and a very bright articulate girl.

I’d say whose business it is , if and when he turns out to have autism are you then going to say - I told you so

Of course not

@Flaxseed

'I came across a test for Autism called m-chat and he scores as ‘high risk’.'

I'd say whose business it is , if and when he turns out to have autism are you then going to say - I told you so...

DD didn't say a word till she was about 20 months, not even mama or dada, but we knew she could understand us. And then one day I offered to help her on with her socks, and she came out with a full sentence "She'll do it herself!" . And never looked back, couldn't stop her after that.
More than likely there's no problem but it doesn't do any harm to get checked out.

I don't think there's any harm in getting things checked out if you (general) are worried. And if dd were ignoring the concerns, then I'd feel you needed to say something even if just once. But, imo, she's on top of it, so please leave it alone for now. The hv and speech therapist, etc. will tell dd if anything is wrong, including if it's more than just a speech issues.

We worry so much about all our children ad grand children when they were little. I did and now I know there was nothing to worry about. Babies develop at a different rate and it's no reflection of how bright they will be later. My youngest was at nursery with a little boy who absolutely refused to speak, at home or at nursery. He did eventually and it now an eminent Barrister. One of my grand children refused to walk, eat solids, speak until 18 months. Oh my goodness was I worried! She is now a very bright, top of her class 10 year old. Very sensitive children sometimes take a bit longer.
It might be a good idea to recheck hearing as it can be missed by early checks.
More likely than not there's no problem. We love them just as they are but we still worry.

Our GD didn’t speak until she was just over 3 years old. She understood everything we said but would only reply with yes/no answers. Then one day she just took off with complete sentences.
She chose her time, she’s still a perfectionist at 10!

grannybeek
I hoped it was because he was hard of hearing!
A couple of grommets - job done! However, his hearing test and tympanogram were perfect.

Thanks for your advice, we do most of what you suggested but will plod on
It’s a good idea to write down a list of his babbling.
There’s definitely lots of different sounds but nothing we can make any sense of!
DD is convinced he said ‘up’ clearly a couple of weeks ago but not so clearly since.
He looks for my cats and makes a ‘ah’ sound which could be mistaken for ‘at’ at times.
I think he’s quite frustrated bless him.

The HV didn’t specify that waiting lists were long, but maybe she didn’t want to admit that they are!
I will encourage DD to chase it up if we don’t hear anything in a couple of months.

Elaine DD did do a ‘taster’ session at a signing class but DGS really didn’t seem to like it.
I don’t think she rebooked but will check.

Thanks for other positive stories.
I need to hear them to keep me calm until we know.
I’m seeing DD and DGS again tomorrow so will be doing some of the things suggested

lily65
I don’t understand your message.

At some point, a caregiver is going to realise when something isn’t quite right, be it 10 months, 20 months, 2 years......

Surely the sooner you get a diagnosis and help for any developmental delay, the better?

I’m a speech and language therapist and the first thing I thought was that he could be hard of hearing. It’s true that receptive language (understanding) difficulties are more of a worry than expressive. SLT waiting lists can, unfortunately, be very long. The HV should be able to tell you what the situation is in your area. One thing you could do to help the SLT is to jot down in a notebook the sounds that he makes, e.g. p, m, oo, and how long his strings of babbling are (yayagooeeyeeyee = 6 syllables). Does he use the same sounds consistently for the same object? If he always says doodoo when he sees the dog, and never for anything else, that is counted as a word. For his receptive language, don’t always put pressure on him to respond independently. When looking at books or a number of toys say “Where’s the dog?” and then immediately “There’s the dog!” With the sort of exaggerated intonation that we all use to babies! My GS has just turned one and his speech is woeful. He babbles a bit but with a limited range of sounds. It’s not as if he’s concentrating on physical abilities - he only started crawling a month ago. It’s lovely that your GS is happy. Keep on with the stimulation, and don’t let him see your anxieties. The HV is on the case, so you can leave things to her for the time being. Good luck to you all going forward.

I think 20 months is too early to worry. One of my grandsons was 2 in February and not talking. His brother didn’t talk til 2 and a half and then he started to speak beautifully!

DGD babbled her own language till she was 20 months. She never stopped but not in English. Then suddenly converted to speaking intelligible sentences. Still never stops. Probably go with what HV says and try not to worry. It might help to try signing with him?

When we went on holiday DS was barely speaking and we’d decided to start investigating on our return. He was just 2 at the time. A few weeks later he suddenly announced “last time we came over this bridge it was turquoise”. That was a good six months earlier so presumably he had the vocabulary but didn’t see the need to use it. He now works for a multi national company explaining their new products in written and verbal form to all levels of employees and the public.

I have twin granddaughters same age your grandson. You have described a very similar picture to my girls. Nothing you have said are ringing alarm bells with me at all and certainly not autism.
We are a medical and nursing family (their daddy is a consultant). None of us are worried. They will get there and so will your grandson ?