Ohhh, Regina, my heart aches for you - and for GD. Not only does she need more of her parents' attention, she is being denied a relationship with the one person who has truly made her feel safe and loved all her life - you. I am so deeply, deeply sorry.
I don't like XDIL one little bit. Based on what you tell us, she sounds unstable, selfish, and cruel. I get that she had a right to deny you visitation, though, even if I don't agree with her. No doubt, she was mad that your DS didn't come to get GD/use his visitation. Her lawyer may have even advised her not to let him shift his visitation onto anyone else, GM or not. I'm just sorry you and GD had to face that.
And I'm sorry, but I have to agree with PPs that DS should have put this issue before a hunting trip. I'm sure he works hard and needs his vacation time, but we're talking about building his relationship with his daughter. He cares about her or he wouldn't have arranged to pick her up, but he needs to make her a priority.
I get the feeling that he thinks of you as a sort of "representative" (my word) who can "fill in" (my words again) for him. But no, his visitation/relationship with GD is his responsibility. I get that you have always made her feel loved, etc. even though he wasn't there, and bless you for it! But that doesn't change any of what I said.
Also, I think it's beautiful if he shares his visitation time with you. But trying to have you take responsibility for it - picking her up, taking care of her while he's away - just isn't going to work, as you have seen.
But DS is an adult, so I know you can't do anything about his behavior. All you can do for GD, IMO, is what you're already doing - love her as much as you can and make her feel valued when you get to spend time with her.
Do you have any contact with her? Cards? FaceTime? etc? If so, please make the most of it.
One other thought - Now that DS sees he can't just give his visitation over to you, perhaps he'll take advantage of it, pick her up and spend real time with her, and, I hope, share some of that time with you. GD is very lucky to have you in her life, and I hope that, when things get better sorted out, your relationship with be able to continue smoothly.
Washing bio gel or quid in the drum
Good Morning Thursday 25th April 2024
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