Are there any other grans on here who help to bring up their grandchild?

I was co parenting my eldest DGS with youngest DD in my home for 7 years (he is now 9) and like Stella1949 was doing all the second mum stuff, bed times, baths, shopping for clothes, nursery, and school runs, doctors appointments etc! The head of his school PTA was under the misapprehension that I was his mother for over a year when he started because I was doing drop off on way to work every day!
I am now actively involved with child care for all the DGC of my 3 DD (so 6 DGC in all) this means watching them in holidays some of the time, entertaining them for their parents to have time to get other chores done, assisting with school runs and taking all of them to various activities.
I am currently off sick from my job so am available in the day times, and tend to be asked to take the 2 year old out quite a bit as his mum also has an 8 month old.
I love all my DGC but must confess that I find the child care very, very exhausting probably more so since my illness and I had a major op last year too. However like others I know how quickly tiny ones grow up and am keen to have the best relationship I can with them ahead of the teen years. I am very very close to eldest DGS still because of the 7 years I helped to bring him up, and I can’t see that changing. I have a different (but just as special ) relationship with his 2 siblings and 3 cousins.

We look after our 2DGSs who spend half their time with the mum and half with our DS. As our son is away on tour 4 times a year we move into his house and look after the 6 and 8 year old boys, taking them to and from school, to after school activities etc. We are in our early 70s and find it pretty exhausting but we have so many laughs and good fun and it has cemented the relationship with our boys. They are our world.

I emigrated to be near absentdaughter, her husband and my grandchildren. I have been very involved in the care of the younger ones and we have had – and continue to have – many family occasions. I am now 69 and finding childcare a little bit hard, but I also feel some sadness that the youngest – sixth grandchild – will be starting school next year and there will no more "Granna Days" with a little one. He'll still be coming here after school and so will his next brother up who is seven. The third oldest, who is very affectionate towards me, will be starting at intermediate school next year so he will probably be travelling straight home on the bus. There will, of course, still be school holidays when grandparents are invaluable and totally exhausted.

Like our own sons and daughters, they grow up unbelievably fast. Enjoy your time with Olivia.

Thankyou for the kind words and thoughts

downtoearth I am sending you kind thoughts.

Hello Grany
I have five grandchildren and two great grandchildren.All of my grandchildren have lived in my house but not altogether!
My husband and I have done the school run, looked after them during school holidays and cared for the as babies while their parents worked. When I first became a grandma 27 years ago I was still working part time but managed to fit in the childcare when I was off and my son and his wife working.
They (the children) plus their parents lived with us from time to time between moving houses.My son has been married twice and has lived here with second wife and two children until that marriage broke up.
Now the grandchildren are all grown up, youngest is 16, but the house was never quiet and at one time we were running out of floor space.Our great grandchildren are four and three years old and we don't see them very often but don't interfere.
At this moment I still have one grandchild living with me. She is 23 now and has problems which I don't want to discuss on this thread.Those problems are the reason she does not live with either of her parents, but grandma is providing a refuge for how long I don't know.That's what we are for
Enjoy looking after your granddaughter, I know you will.

I've been "mum" to my 3yo GD since birth. My daughter was young and in denial of her pregnancy. She told no one (only her bf and his mum knew) and I only found out she was pregnant when she was 8 months gone. She planned giving birth in secret and leaving baby somewhere!

She has never bonded with my GD but they both live with me. Luckily GD's father is involved and I've co-parented with him, more recently increased the time she goes to his. She is like a late baby to me that I just never physically gave birth to. But, I'm tired. My heart hurts for her due to the little interest my daughter shows in her She is just so adorable too.

downtoearth, from me, too. And for you Mebster.

Thankyou not been easy,cant go into details,but latest escapade is raising many concerns

Well done Downtonearth. It must have been very hard. Hope your GD becomes easier and settles down into a happy contented adult who will be there for you when you get old.

Not sure what happened to the flowers but they are fir you.

downtoearth [ flowers]

Have brought my GD up since the age of 4,she is now 20,still a handful,lots of issues,my daughter was 17 when she became pregnant,had epilepsy,and in a volatile relationship,which resulted in her taking her own life aged 23.I have been heavily involved since conception.

Mine are all quite young and I am very hands on with them all because I want to be - and I do think their parents would find things pretty hard going without my help - school pick ups etc. I have chosen to put other interests in my life on hold for the time being because I know how quickly these tiny ones will grow and be independent of me, and I have happily made this decision. My only peeve is the mess and clutter in my house, I find this part of it all the only drawback and the disarray does get to me but I would never dream of letting it show and just take a deep breath and carry on the circle of cleaning and tidying - this bit exhausts me though. Don’t say just leave it because leaving it makes me feel worse.

I've been "co-parent" with my son for the last 5 years. My son got his children full-time at that point, when they were 5 and 9. He was only able to take them on that understanding, ie that I'd be there morning and afternoon, every day. I get up at 5am and go over there when he leaves for work, do the morning routine and take them to school. Then at 2-30pm I head off again , pick them up, take them home and prepare dinner. When he gets home, I head off home.

I do all the school things, teacher interviews, buying uniforms and books, helping with homework. Make all the appointments, take them to the doctor etc. I'm the "mother figure" to them and we all dearly love each other.

When my granddaughter got to puberty I did all the " growing up" things, we watched You Tubes together about periods and I demonstrated how to use pads, lol. We both saw the funny side of that ! I was very pleased when she did get her periods and she said that it was all very easy "because Grandma showed me how to do everything". Comments like that make it all worth it !

I sometimes get tired, but it's all worth it to see my dear son with his children, enjoying life . My son tells me every day that he loves and appreciates me !

Within a month of my retirement one DS split up with his partner and moved back in with me. This meant 3 DGC moved in from 3 to 4 days a week too (weekends but more in school holidays as they got older). I also pick them up or take them to school or clubs on other days. Even before the split I looked after them from about 6 weeks old overnights. I have two other DGDs who I also look after from time to time and have most weekends with all of them. They all get on really well together.

Now I have a 6 month DGS from another DS who I only see 'normally' ie about weekly but will be asked for help when mum goes back to work. None of this has been easy for me (on my own) and my house is wrecked and cluttered but I have a wonderful relationship with DGC. Discipline is difficult as my rules are different from their parents but getting easier as they age. Despite the ups and downs we love each other as in most families I suppose.

Mebster my heart goes out to you. We have had our traumas but none as bad as yours. I hope all goes well in the end with you and your DGS. I am sure you are a great nana.
Stay strong.

Yes. My daughter and grandson live with me. I feel for him because his dad has no interest in him and I try to be another loving person in his life. I adore him too off course, although my daughter and I have a very difficult relationship.

Yes, my gs has leukemia and is in hospital for long periods. There are other children so I spend most nights with him. He is now in day rehab in a city 200 miles from home. I am here with him most of the time though the administrators at the Ronald McDonald House have recently questioned the arrangement after he tipped in his wheelchair (not hurt at all). It was due to no ramp at curb leading to house. I am home alone now and really hurt by this. I love being involved in his life and feel like I'm a terrific nana most of time.

We look after two grandsons aged 4 and 2. We had them since 10 months old. My daughter works 4 days a week as a nurse and her husband 5 days a week with an hour's commute both ways. We are in our late 60's and although it is tiring they make us laugh and fill our lives with joy especially as my own son died 4 years ago aged 39. We did not know our own grandparents as they were too old and died when we were very young. Everywhere we go we meet other grandparents who are childminding; it seems to be the way of it nowadays. We used to do two days together from 8 to 6 pm but I told my daughter it was too much, and she changed her hours and we now do 8.30 to 4 pm.

I helped a lot with my Daughter's twin girls and then 10 years later looked after my Grandson, from 12months old, 8 - 3, five days a week, till school. Then did pickups from school a few days.
I have one regular day now where I'm at their house to meet him from school and take him to Music Lessons.
Obviously I'm needed school holidays as well.
I have loved it all.....

YASL obviously if your health is not good, they need to sort out cc themselves. Maybe ring them or meet them at the weekend and explain your not up to doing cc twice a week, do you have another child, or a partner who could help get the message through. This is not fair, you are unwell and they need to realise it. Just keep telling them, also are you in position to pay something towards the after school club/childcare for one day, if not, say you would help pay but haven’t got the money..good luck, hope your health improves

Grany, Welcome to GN....
Yes, I looked after my daughter's 2 kids since she went back to work after maternity leave. Her p.i.laws also helped. They are 16 and 17 years old now. It was such a joy to watch them growing up before my eyes. Grandson turned over on his stomach for the first time, during my watch.
It can be hard sometimes. I am on my own, so looking after two (14 months difference) was a challenge, but a lovely challenge.
You will love it ......I loved those days. Now they're teenagers I hardly see them......haven't seen them this weekend. Probably doing their own thing....that's life...

Beautiful when all goes well.. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Yes, I’m 55, my DGS is 15, my DD had him when she was young, also she has 7 year old DGD. She married 12 years ago but recently DD’s hubby left her for another woman, so now we look after them a lot, luckily they live nearby. They have always attended nursery or school, so I’ve always helped by dropping off or picking up. They treat our home like theirs, which is nice ?? We are very close to them, obviously now closer with what’s happened. So all good now.

I do the school run twice a week and look after grandchild till son gets home. My health is already poor and has taken a downturn ..I want to reduce days to one but they are insisting I can't cos need me too much and I am finding it hard to insist......any ideas