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Grandparenting

Are there any other grans on here who help to bring up their grandchild?

(35 Posts)
Grany Mon 13-May-19 14:09:42

H I am granny to my first grandchild 14 month old Olivia. Her mum my daughter chose to be a single mum and as she is a professional in full time work I offered to help along with my husband, altogether it's working out fine. I love being a granny, and so nice to join this gransnet forum.

EllanVannin Mon 13-May-19 14:49:58

Yes, a joyous time but full time ?

kittylester Mon 13-May-19 14:51:03

Welcome grany.

I think there are lots of people on here do to some extent or another. I do the school run once a week for one lot and babysit when called upon either at the home of one of the DDs or here.

ElaineI Mon 13-May-19 18:37:39

Yes we look after DGS2 aged 13 months twice a week (more if childminder ill or he is ill). Also once or twice with DGS1 aged 5 and at school and DGD aged 2. Sometimes all three together. It is exhausting but I love it. I have less time for myself than when I was at work! It can be difficult though and I have less time with my Mum who is 84.

Sara65 Mon 13-May-19 19:13:48

I take one day a week off to look after my grandchildren, one at school now, one little one and a baby, I’ve been doing this now for the best part of ten years, and actually enjoy it more as time goes on, I have a very close and loving relationship with them all, and usually see them at the weekends. During the school holidays when the cousins want to spend time together, I’ve often got six of them staying, because we’re the only ones with enough room!
I know how quickly time flies, and intend to enjoy them!

CanadianGran Mon 13-May-19 19:46:35

Welcome Grany, you will find lots of good advice here, and some topics both serious and frivolous!

So many of us Granparents help raise our grandchildren in many ways, some more hands-on than others. I do not do child minding on a regular basis since I still work full time, but I do help out whenever needed.
I have 2 grandchildren that live in the same town, and 2 that live quite far away (either 20 hours to drive, but mostly I fly every few months). They bring so much joy to our lives!

Grany Wed 15-May-19 07:45:11

Thanks for all your responses. EllanVannin I take granddaughter to nursery and pick her up five days a week. We have her to look after at the weekend nice to spend time with her after week at nursery which is just around the corner from where we live. She likes nursery mixing with toddlers same ages as her. So this works as we all get some time to ourselves.

Starlady Sat 18-May-19 13:42:33

Wecome, Grany! Your situation sounds lovely! I do some childminding, too, but not as much as you. It seems GPs are called on more than ever these days, as childcare is so expensive - especially if they're already paying for nursery, as your DD (dear daughter) is. Even if there are two parents involved, since both are often working fulltime, GPs seemed to be called upon a lot. Again, I think that's b/c of the expense of hired nannies and also b/c, perhaps, the parents trust us more or want their kids w/ people who love them.

LullyDully Sat 18-May-19 15:15:19

We did it full time for 4/ 5 years. It was good at the time with a 2 and a 4 year old. We are still very close but not in charge anymore thank goodness. Our energy levels are not what they were.

Also they aren't keen on visiting NT houses and gardens any more!

paddyann Sat 18-May-19 15:28:01

we've had our almost 10 year old GD for half of every week since she was 15 months old.Her parents split and her dad who took the split really badly (he was cheated on) asked if he could come home . He organised shared access with his ex He was here until last year when he moved in with a new partner ,a lovely girl and we decided that the wee one should continue staying with us until she wanted to move into Dads new flat .She thinks of this as home and to be honest she feels just like one of mine .I love having her ,we take and collect her from school 15 miles away on two days and collect her for the weekend on Fridays when she spends time at dads and comes back to us on Sunday evening for the school run on Monday .Its a routine we're used to.By the time my OH gets back from the school run I've done my exercise routine and am ready for work ,I only work part time now I'm 65 .Things may change when the new baby arrives later in the year ,wee madam might decide to live with them ,its her choice we wont make her choose .We also help with my daughters three as she has health issues ,sometimes its manic here but its always fun

Yas1 Sat 25-May-19 10:30:24

I do the school run twice a week and look after grandchild till son gets home. My health is already poor and has taken a downturn ..I want to reduce days to one but they are insisting I can't cos need me too much and I am finding it hard to insist......any ideas

Annie1962 Mon 27-May-19 13:19:37

Yes, I’m 55, my DGS is 15, my DD had him when she was young, also she has 7 year old DGD. She married 12 years ago but recently DD’s hubby left her for another woman, so now we look after them a lot, luckily they live nearby. They have always attended nursery or school, so I’ve always helped by dropping off or picking up. They treat our home like theirs, which is nice 👍🏻 We are very close to them, obviously now closer with what’s happened. So all good now.

Joyfulnanna Mon 27-May-19 13:27:57

Beautiful when all goes well.. Enjoy it while it lasts.

crazyH Mon 27-May-19 13:41:06

Grany, Welcome to GN....
Yes, I looked after my daughter's 2 kids since she went back to work after maternity leave. Her p.i.laws also helped. They are 16 and 17 years old now. It was such a joy to watch them growing up before my eyes. Grandson turned over on his stomach for the first time, during my watch.
It can be hard sometimes. I am on my own, so looking after two (14 months difference) was a challenge, but a lovely challenge.
You will love it ......I loved those days. Now they're teenagers I hardly see them......haven't seen them this weekend. Probably doing their own thing....that's life...

Annie1962 Mon 27-May-19 13:46:12

YASL obviously if your health is not good, they need to sort out cc themselves. Maybe ring them or meet them at the weekend and explain your not up to doing cc twice a week, do you have another child, or a partner who could help get the message through. This is not fair, you are unwell and they need to realise it. Just keep telling them, also are you in position to pay something towards the after school club/childcare for one day, if not, say you would help pay but haven’t got the money..good luck, hope your health improves

Buffybee Mon 27-May-19 13:56:54

I helped a lot with my Daughter's twin girls and then 10 years later looked after my Grandson, from 12months old, 8 - 3, five days a week, till school. Then did pickups from school a few days.
I have one regular day now where I'm at their house to meet him from school and take him to Music Lessons.
Obviously I'm needed school holidays as well.
I have loved it all.....

flaxwoven Mon 27-May-19 14:02:53

We look after two grandsons aged 4 and 2. We had them since 10 months old. My daughter works 4 days a week as a nurse and her husband 5 days a week with an hour's commute both ways. We are in our late 60's and although it is tiring they make us laugh and fill our lives with joy especially as my own son died 4 years ago aged 39. We did not know our own grandparents as they were too old and died when we were very young. Everywhere we go we meet other grandparents who are childminding; it seems to be the way of it nowadays. We used to do two days together from 8 to 6 pm but I told my daughter it was too much, and she changed her hours and we now do 8.30 to 4 pm.

Mebster Fri 09-Aug-19 19:39:39

Yes, my gs has leukemia and is in hospital for long periods. There are other children so I spend most nights with him. He is now in day rehab in a city 200 miles from home. I am here with him most of the time though the administrators at the Ronald McDonald House have recently questioned the arrangement after he tipped in his wheelchair (not hurt at all). It was due to no ramp at curb leading to house. I am home alone now and really hurt by this. I love being involved in his life and feel like I'm a terrific nana most of time.

GagaJo Fri 09-Aug-19 23:36:50

Yes. My daughter and grandson live with me. I feel for him because his dad has no interest in him and I try to be another loving person in his life. I adore him too off course, although my daughter and I have a very difficult relationship.

Grandma2213 Sat 10-Aug-19 02:25:58

Within a month of my retirement one DS split up with his partner and moved back in with me. This meant 3 DGC moved in from 3 to 4 days a week too (weekends but more in school holidays as they got older). I also pick them up or take them to school or clubs on other days. Even before the split I looked after them from about 6 weeks old overnights. I have two other DGDs who I also look after from time to time and have most weekends with all of them. They all get on really well together.

Now I have a 6 month DGS from another DS who I only see 'normally' ie about weekly but will be asked for help when mum goes back to work. None of this has been easy for me (on my own) and my house is wrecked and cluttered but I have a wonderful relationship with DGC. Discipline is difficult as my rules are different from their parents but getting easier as they age. Despite the ups and downs we love each other as in most families I suppose.

Mebster my heart goes out to you. We have had our traumas but none as bad as yours. I hope all goes well in the end with you and your DGS. I am sure you are a great nana.
Stay strong.

stella1949 Sat 10-Aug-19 05:21:01

I've been "co-parent" with my son for the last 5 years. My son got his children full-time at that point, when they were 5 and 9. He was only able to take them on that understanding, ie that I'd be there morning and afternoon, every day. I get up at 5am and go over there when he leaves for work, do the morning routine and take them to school. Then at 2-30pm I head off again , pick them up, take them home and prepare dinner. When he gets home, I head off home.

I do all the school things, teacher interviews, buying uniforms and books, helping with homework. Make all the appointments, take them to the doctor etc. I'm the "mother figure" to them and we all dearly love each other.

When my granddaughter got to puberty I did all the " growing up" things, we watched You Tubes together about periods and I demonstrated how to use pads, lol. We both saw the funny side of that ! I was very pleased when she did get her periods and she said that it was all very easy "because Grandma showed me how to do everything". Comments like that make it all worth it !

I sometimes get tired, but it's all worth it to see my dear son with his children, enjoying life . My son tells me every day that he loves and appreciates me !

Esther1 Sat 10-Aug-19 06:16:04

Mine are all quite young and I am very hands on with them all because I want to be - and I do think their parents would find things pretty hard going without my help - school pick ups etc. I have chosen to put other interests in my life on hold for the time being because I know how quickly these tiny ones will grow and be independent of me, and I have happily made this decision. My only peeve is the mess and clutter in my house, I find this part of it all the only drawback and the disarray does get to me but I would never dream of letting it show and just take a deep breath and carry on the circle of cleaning and tidying - this bit exhausts me though. Don’t say just leave it because leaving it makes me feel worse.

downtoearth Sat 10-Aug-19 07:44:12

Have brought my GD up since the age of 4,she is now 20,still a handful,lots of issues,my daughter was 17 when she became pregnant,had epilepsy,and in a volatile relationship,which resulted in her taking her own life aged 23.I have been heavily involved since conception.

silverlining48 Sat 10-Aug-19 08:23:20

downtoearth [ flowers]

silverlining48 Sat 10-Aug-19 08:26:05

Not sure what happened to the flowers but they are fir you.