grandkids glued to devices

Two of my grandchildren are obsessed with their screens. The 10 year old is VERY obsessed. However they love coming to visit because I'm just as obsessed. We have marvellous fun playing Fortnite and the Mario races, Crash Bandicoot and some blobby game, the name I can't remember. In fact my husband and I both play on our Switch many an evening. It's just a change in what we do. I too was another one who used to be told off for having my nose in a book all the time. My father used to tell me I was wasting my life. As the quote goes ... "the more things change, the more they stay the same".

I asked my soon to be 13 year old granddaughter what kind of birthday party she was having this year. She told me then added, " you don't know any of these words do you Gran" ? I had to admit she was right. No doubt she'll have a good birthday. I'm not invited thank goodness.

When I was a teenager I was glued to my ‘trannie’.... and my books....my kids had their ‘game boy’ and ‘walkmans’.... my grandchildren have I-phones and ‘switch’, although they ARE only allowed 1 hour on tech a day (12 and 7)..... we were no different...,, just different devices. They’ll speak when they’re ready... just be there to listen.

I don't do a lot of posting on here, and gave up altogether at one time, because I felt I spent too long reading posts, and gazing at a screen, instead of getting up and going, so I think perhaps we are all a little guilty?

Every Monday I watch my great nephews swimming at the local pool. In the spectator area most Mothers of others are on phones all the time. I often think, if their offspring drowned. they'd never notice. Modern life, unfortunately.

Some of you must have been like me under the bedclothes with Radio Luxembourg on, because your mum and dad hated your music, trying to read by torch light. We were once the generation with the best music, best films, best everything. Now our GCs are the same. We grew out of it, so will they.
That said no mobile phones/devices are allowed at table when we eat together (and that includes mum and dad!)

Yes I do agree but I was always either deep in a book or playing records (remember those round black things?) at full volume so I suppose it is just the same.
I notice they soon drop the phones when food is on offer! Typical boys.

I used to sneak my books into bed and read them at night. One evening my mum had been out and as she walked up the street she saw my light on and stormed up to my room and told me to stop reading! Amazing when you think how we long for our children to read. I finally got her into reading in her sixties when she was recovering from a heart attack. I gave her "Flowers in the Attic" and she was hooked.

Oh yes, trisher. Radio Luxembourg. Happy memories

Do any grans have a "my house, my rules" way of dealing with this issue? Sadly my DGC haven't been in our home for five years because they live abroad, but having seen how much they are online, I would definitely have clear rules in place about using IT, if they came here. Last year we took DGD away with us to the seaside (in their country) and I wish I'd realised just how much she would be glued to her phone! (Next time, there will be a discussion and rules laid down before we go away!)

Well most of my GCs ask for book tokens after about age 8 and love choosing with them. But I do think ‘devices’ more antisocial because they give the impression that the person glued to one is talking to someone more interesting than granny. Probably true but I somehow don’t feel cut out in the same way if they are reading.

Two of my teenage grandsons live two hundred miles apart and spend hours talking to each other over online games.
When they meet in person, there is the usual teenage silence, so perhaps technology can help social contacts, as well as damage them!

You have one chance - get them OUT OF THE HOUSE. Let them try using their devices while walking through woods or along a river bank...
A few months ago I did some informal childcare. Usually for children over 2 but pre-school. (I had police clearance from being a sunday school teacher) Many parents seemed keen to have me BECAUSE I was older and do not own a smart phone - even the ones that had their kids faces pushed into i-pads while still in buggies... Parents know what they are doing is damaging their kids, its just the pressure of 'everyone else is doing it...'

Teenagers are the same all over the world.I really object when adults do the same rude thing.A neighbour came one evening this week, we sat in the garden and enjoyed a cup of tea, he sat most of the time talking, telling us about his holiday but didnt look up from his phone, I think eye contact would have been nice.I think he was clever to be able to talk and watch his phone at the same time, obviously he does it regularly.

Our twelve year old is exactly the same, BUT you only have to produce a football and bounce it once and the phone is down and forgotten! Problem is, Grandad is now getting past the dashing about playing football stage, so that door may be closed to us soon!

Sandybh6, I know EXACTLY how you feel. In fact I started a thread about this some time ago. It's very difficult. I struggle all the time trying to get my GS off his phone. I've tried virtually everything from bribery to scolding but half the time he doesn't even hear me. In desperation I've even showed an interest in one of the games he plays on his phone and ask him questions about it. I've also said half an hour is enough and then put it down but he doesn't until it suits him. grannybuy, I think it IS your place to interfere - somebody needs to. I have said to my grandson that it is rude to ignore someone when you are with them as it's like saying you aren't interested in them. I've said it's okay to be on the internet for a little while but not all the time. I do find it is one of the most exhausting things I've had to do. It's a constant battle. As for parents I think most of them allow it because it gives them peace and quiet but it's awful. It's the constant messaging, rather than the games, which really gets to me. Also who knows what they are looking at half the time. Someone said the genie is out of the bottle and I think that's true. Do any of them read in bed any more like we used to?

Teenage GD is on her phone or laptop all the time, her father berates her when she is at our house but I am just happy to see her.
Her younger sister does not have internet access so does not spend time with head lowered over screen, hopefully I can enjoy the little one for a few more years.

Wow ! I thought it was just me getting On ?. As got 7 & 16 mnths grandkids in yes i take them out either to park anything to get away from ipads .. My 7 GS said gran what’s your problem with screens !! I said none though i want to make plenty memorys as possible .. Like i have of my late granny

Its different times Grans.....I would never dream of my house my rules where tech is concerned ,mine use it for all sort of things.Homework for one ,the middle GD (9) videos about things she's interested in ,her Brownies wanted her to make one of her baking a cake as part of her Baking badge .Maybe because I'm relaxed about it that I dont harrass my GC about it and they DO talk to me and msg me .Me? I dont have a phone ,I use this laptop for work and for browsing when I'm not busy but I know people my age whose tech is a lifeline to the outside world so dont knock it .wOULD YOU HAVE BEEN HAPPY FOR YOUR MOTHER TO INTERFERE IN YOUR CHILDRENS LIVES?

My kids don’t take their devices to their Grandparents houses . My Dad takes them out with camera etc . My Mum & Step dad live in Yorkshire village so rubbish reception anyway they don’t have Sky etc either . Kids go hiking , fishing or paddling ( age 14 & 16) etc . My little grandchildren are rarely allowed electronics so not an issue .

Have you tried asking them if there are some activities or places they would like to go ?

Know the feeling my 16 year old grandson stay with me every weekend most of the time he's on his phone in his room the rule I made was phone stays upstairs when he comes down to eat or to talk to me so far it's worked well

Not just young folk, adults too are guilty. Anytime I am in a restaurant of any kind, play centre, park I look and see adults glued to their screens ignoring all around. Its so sad.

I do have a my house, my rules policy, but it’s not a blanket ban on all technology, last time my fourteen year old was staying, he said he had a lot of homework, Saturday morning, I reminded him, with thoughts of keeping everybody out of the dining room, so he could spread out and study, oh, he says, I’ve done it all, when? I enquire suspiciously, on my iPhone, you can check it, it’s all been marked! I was speechless!

My granddaughter does a maths thing on her iPod, and the school has asked them to keep it up in the holidays.

But I won’t have it brought to the table, I won’t allow mindless games to be played all day, they have to do other things, and my strictest unbreakable rule, is no television before lunch, I’m not sure how that started, probably fed up with peppa pig, at 5am

As a parent I vividly remember the protests and reluctance from my children when going to visit the GP with the house rules. I went out of duty but the visit was always as short as we could politely manage. As a GP I have very few rules and so far it is all good. Screen time and outdoor time all seem to fall into place nicely so far. Mind you, they're not at the troublesome teenagers stage just yet. Who knows, screens might have evolved into something else in the very near future. Technology is moving at a mind boggling rate methinks. I watched 'Years and years' recently on TV. Amazing but somewhat credible.

Kim

I haven’t got any control over the teenagers, and don’t try!
But I do limit the time spent on screens with the little ones, they accept it, they know I’m an old misery when it comes to their games, and the hated YouTube rubbish