Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

grandkids glued to devices

(92 Posts)
sandybh6 Fri 12-Jul-19 13:25:34

It's so hard to relate to the adolescent grandkids these days when they're glued to their Ipads and cellphones. It's impossible to pull them away in order to do an activity or have a conversation. When they stay over, we've given up on doing things with them because it's like pulling teeth. I just hate what all these devices have done to young people these days. They also have too much leisure time and not enough family responsibility (chores, etc). I feel helpless because I can't change a thing, I can only accept.

merlotgran Fri 12-Jul-19 13:37:28

Yep! There's nothing you can do about it. I don't know how old your grandchildren are but we found ours wanted to spend more time with us again in their later teens. Fourteen - sixteen seemed to be the years when they just wanted to be in their rooms.

M0nica Fri 12-Jul-19 13:47:08

Between 14 - 16, I usually wanted to be in my room. I was very unsocial - and that was long before devices of any kind.

Pantglas1 Fri 12-Jul-19 14:06:08

Me too Monica and I always had my head in a book and my father used to go on about that too. How can reading be a bad thing?

Urmstongran Fri 12-Jul-19 14:21:11

It’s not just them (oh dear).
🤣🤣

luluaugust Fri 12-Jul-19 14:32:40

Where I had the local Youth Club and my head in a book, they have their phones and enough sports and after school clubs to fill the week. It is modern life, no doubt one day they will be just as mystified by their teenagers.

BlueBelle Fri 12-Jul-19 14:34:40

I too was eternally getting told off for having a book under the covers at night, at the table if I was eating on my own, even in the loo, it’s no difference
Of course teenagers don’t want to talk to grandparents would you know about the latest drum and bass or who loves who on Love island nah No generation lives up to their elders standards, always has been, always will be

annodomini Fri 12-Jul-19 15:46:33

Oh it's not just the youngsters now. Staying with equally elderly relatives (who shall be nameless), I was amazed to find them glued to their devices even while the TV was on. Maybe they were reading or catching up on the newspapers. I don't think they were gaming, but whatever caught their attention, it made them just as antisocial as my teenage GC.

M0nica Fri 12-Jul-19 15:50:01

Yes, I too was an omniverous reason. My mother told me off once because when asked for any suggestions for presents I would like for my birthday. I replies with one word. 'Books'.

I suspect, if I was a child in this generation I would be glued to my device but more for information than communication.

notanan2 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:17:23

Thats teenagers not modern devices. Same was said about walkmans & record players.

notanan2 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:20:53

We were one of the few houses with a landline when I was a teen. My friend was another. Adults didnt understand how we could spend hours on the phone after hanging out in school all day! The local payphone was also haunted by and dominated by teens

notanan2 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:22:58

A tablet is no more antisocial than a newspaper. My grandfather was always behind a newspaper as I remember it.... maybe he did it to avoid socialising but he was praised for his knowledge of current affairs

sodapop Fri 12-Jul-19 16:24:41

I was exactly the same with books as BlueBell said. I was expected to socialise with family and guests when they came to the house though. I think parents should insist on a modicum of interaction at least that is only good manners.

Urmstongran Fri 12-Jul-19 17:01:22

Am I the only one who has just looked up ‘omnivorous’?
🤣

Sara65 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:05:34

I do agree, it’s not so much that they’re playing on them, we’re never going to stop that now, it’s the absolute rubbish they watch on YouTube, my two nine year old granddaughters watch the most stupid boring people doing the most boring stupid things, I can’t stand it!

At least when my head was stuck in a book, I wasn’t subjecting myself to that!

grannylyn65 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:06:51

No Gran !!

dragonfly46 Fri 12-Jul-19 17:14:53

I worry about what they are viewing on the Internet. At least most books were harmless, except the ones I found under my mother's pillow.
The children of today have so many opportunities to see unsuitable material.

paddyann Fri 12-Jul-19 17:16:50

I have no problem getting converstaion out of mine 16.12.8 in one family and a 9 year old from another.In fact sometimesI say my ears are sore .We have all sorts of discussions from euthanasia and abortion..because of the Alabama situation recently to legalised cannabis as their mum is on loads of meds and they like me are checking out its successes .Great young people with hearts of gold ,I'm very proud of them all and yes somedays they watch tripe on TV or i-pads but hey I used to get slated for sneaking a book out with me when I was supposed to be "playing in the fresh air"Times change and if we dont change with them we'll be left behind.

Davidhs Fri 12-Jul-19 17:37:48

It’s not just teens, in my family their parents are just as bad and I notice more and more in the 60 plus age group are at it as well, particularly those that work, have lots of friends/contacts and use Facebook.

Gonegirl Fri 12-Jul-19 17:48:57

A lot depends on the kid. My now 14 year old GS spent the whole afternoon after the last Sunday lunch I did lolloping on the bed in my 'puter room watching what very likely was rubbish, (No one checked shock) and playing games. He has a myriad different devices.

His older brother when visiting, however, brings his tree climbing gear to practice on my walnut tree, or him and his dad escape to the river with their kayaks. He has never had any interest in screens at all.

Different people like different things.

Harris27 Sat 13-Jul-19 09:31:26

I must admit it's a bit like this in my gran kids house it's" say hello to nana"'so they do then return to iPads! I feel like texting the " bye bye see you soon " when I'm leaving ha ha😀Mind you my son says I'm a bit like that since I got my iPad a few years ago! So if you can't beat them join them!!!'

SylviaML Sat 13-Jul-19 09:37:07

I once visited my daughter unannounced and she was out but her two teenage sons were in. For once they had to talk to me instead of spending time in their rooms. We had a lovely few hours (well I enjoyed it and hope they did). I'm now 'friends' with all of my grandsons on Facebook and get to talk to them on Messenger. Not quite the same as the relationship we had when they were little but better than nothing.

Johno Sat 13-Jul-19 09:47:13

I never, ever answer or chat with any of my grandchildren until they put their phone/tablet down. I tell them I will never respond unless they do so. Now they always put them down or come away from their Laptop/phone etc when they want to engage with me. I think this is rational, logical and right.

Nanaval4G Sat 13-Jul-19 09:52:51

No Urmston gran, me too

grannybuy Sat 13-Jul-19 09:53:49

This couldn't be more timely! I'm just back from four days at DD's, 'minding' two DGD's aged fifteen and twelve. I hardly saw them, and I wish that I could say that it was because they were out doing something. They were in their rooms most of the time, on phones or tablets. It's allowed, so not my place to interfere. I offered to take them out or play a board game, but they are past that. The younger one did play with us in the evening, at least. It saddens me too.