Oh - the angst !

I once discovered a scar on the back of my head. I was told that my cousin had dropped me when I was a baby.

He was 15 years older than me and was always very protective of me after that.

I really was not concerned regarding her parents reaction, as expected they were totally sanguine.
It was my feeling of guilt and ineptitude that I was not expecting !!
No doubt I will learn to relax in the future, at least I hope to !

I used to be very overprotective of my two daughters, but now I work part time in a primary school, I see bumps, scratches, grazes, bites and the occasional greenstick fracture that I realise it's completely normal. Little human beings will trip, fall and occasionally fight. That's part of growing up and luckily the majority of our parents are very blase about their children's injuries and take them in their stride.

I know how you feel hazel93. When DGS1 was 2, I took him to the park, we were walking along when he spotted the playground and suddenly bolted - running straight in front of a girl on a swing She couldn't possibly miss him, and the swing hit him in the mouth, splitting his lip and throwing him several feet away onto the ground..!!
I had to mop up the blood and tears, and take him home to be patched up with his little lip all swollen ? Luckily, his teeth had escaped damage - and his DM & DF were very understanding - but it took me ages to lose the guilty feeling..!!

While caring for my grandson some years ago, he had a slight accident for which I felt he needed to see the doctor. I took him to the GP but was unable to see a doctor without written permission from his parents. I phoned my son to get permission but a letter on file was also necessary.

hazel93. I woudn't worry. I do a lot of babysitting for my daughter looking after her 2 children. I was picking up the little girl from nursery one day when she was only 1, she could not walk at the time so I carried her and I tripped over and went flying on the ground still trying to hang on to her. I felt so stupid and really upset. I only ever told a friend and my mother. I never have told my daughter to this day.

Absolutely identify with you hazel93. I look after my grandson 2 days a week and dread the bumps and scrapes. I took him to toddler group last week and spent some time carefully showing him how to hold and use a pair of children’s safety scissors. Returned them to the craft table only for him to grab them back and proceed to make two cuts in his t-shirt. I was mortified, luckily his mum was very pragmatic and said oh well at least it wasn’t him! Kids - who’d have ‘em!

When my daughter was little she broke her arm at the park while my mil was looking after her. Mil felt awful and as much as I tried to reassure her that accidents happen she still feels guilty (my daughter is now 30!). Now that I have a grand-daughter I totally understand how she must have felt at the time. It's a different level of responsibility but accidents still happen.

We had 3 years providing live in care for GD till she was 3. I was a bag of nerves with her sitting in the back seat whilst I drove her somewhere. The worst incident occurred whilst I unthinkingly accepted a last minute place on a morning course leaving DH in charge. We had not discussed protocol for his going to the loo so he left her playing quietly whilst he nipped upstairs. I came back to find him holding a soggy sobbing blood stained toddler who had seized the opportunity to play on her buggy and upended it so that the handle knocked out a tooth! (bad design but still...). We rendezvoused at the hospital with mum having been unable to find the tooth anywhere. An X-ray located it embedded in her gum and it had to be extracted. Five years of anxiety (ours) followed till the adult tooth came in with only a slight blemish. Mum was very gracious about it and GD coped magnificently throughout but we had a massive row about lots of other things later in the week and are still recovering.....tentatively.... We found the responsibility of looking after someone else's child terrifying. All care was jointly provided thereafter......

It’s happened to me too.
And, don’t you feel awful and guilty at the same time.

Our DGS broke his wrist whilst we were looking after him and we didn't realise! Was taken to hospital the next day by other granny.

I'm not a grandparent but as a mum...these things happen all the time, at home or in other peoples care (playgroup, relatives homes, schools)

And unless his mum is what MNers would call "hard work" I'm sure she understands!!

Perfectly natural. I always make sure I tell their mother of any falls, incidents etc. I think the responsibility for GC is much tougher than the responsibility for my own kids.

No, you are not the only one I am sure it has happened to us all, toddlers and babies on the move fall all the time and it's impossible to stop them having accidents in fact it is part of them growing and learning about the world . However I agree I feel much worse and worry more when looking after my GC than I did when it was my children. I think it's the responsibility for caring for such a precious thing that can sometimes seem overwhelming

I’m with you here. Taking my grandchildren to the park is a nightmare for me, when they go on the swings, climbing frame etc, I’m like a cat on hot bricks, desperately trying to look relaxed when what I actually want to do is scream and take them onto the nice safe grass! With my own children, as you said, I’d kiss them better and let them get on with it.

My granddaughter shut her finger in the door when she was around two. Her dad happened to be in the house at the time but I was officially babysitting. He seemed angry with me, yet to me he was just as responsible. We can only do our best.

Oh yes, I am always anxious about my DGC having an injury while in my care! (When they were little, they had to understand that when out with Grandma and Grandpa, there were different rules regarding "safety".) I was much less concerned about my own DS, when he was a child. I have photos of me & DS high up on castle battlements, with about six inches of wall on each side of us. DS was three at the time: I would have kittens if that was my DGC now - and they are much older.

It happens...babies fall when learning to walk. Don't worry. You can't wrap a baby in cotton wool. Relax

Unless we actually stop our grandchildren playing when they’re in our care, they’re bound to have the odd tumble, don’t feel guilty, it’s not like you’re neglecting your granddaughter, these things just happen

When they fall, and we are the mother, no one is going to blame us - when we're the grandmother, they are.

As you say, you would have just done an upsy-daisy and given a loving hug but the immediate, albeit subconscious image of Mama's reaction and the fleeting fear of blame, is bound to be there.

Oh don’t worry we are not infallible and do our best, when my granddaughter stayed with me once a long time ago we went to the swing park and she was in the baby (with bar across) swings I was gently swinging her when it seems like in a flash she leaned over whilst hoisting herself slightly and went straight over the bar onto her head
I was totally mortified and extremely worried rushed home and watched her like a hawk (for concussion) she was fine with no outward injuries She’s just turned 19 this month

As with my own kids I don't like to hamper their fun or make them unnecessarily fearful when climbing, riding their bikes, etc, so I stand well back.

Like every one else, though, inside I'm nearly panicking.

It’s noticeable at our local swing park, that most parents there are sitting chatting etc h keeping a casual eye on the children. Meanwhile any “on duty” grandparents there are hovering around the children in their care! It does feel so much more of a responsibility when you’re not the parent!

GS2 was running out of pre school in front of me and lost his footing and fell face first. Made an awful mess of his face which took ages to fade. I know it would have happened if his mother had been there, but still!

Thanks everyone. So good to know I'm not that unusual !
Heaven help me once she is toddling !