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Oh - the angst !

(36 Posts)
hazel93 Wed 17-Jul-19 11:26:28

I'm a newbie so forgive me if this topic has been covered ad infinitum !
Long story short, over the moon to have become a grandparent last October. My son and DIL live locally so I have been involved since her birth and regularly babysit.
She is now, of course, crawling at super speed and standing alone albeit a tad wobbly. Normally she gently lowers her bottom to resume crawling . This time , whilst in my care , she face planted ! Screams and small red mark on her forehead .As a parent, I would have simply "kissed it better" and thought no more of it, as a grandparent I was mortified - am I the only one ?

M0nica Wed 17-Jul-19 11:41:24

No, I think it is happened to all of us. We live some distance from DS and family so opportunities to take DGD out by herself for the day were not many when she was under 5.

When we did we took her to the seaside, she slipped on some seaweed, grazing one thigh from top to knee, on an adjacent rock. The grazing was very light and looked worse than it was, but we wondered whether we would ever be let out with her again.

We were.

sodapop Wed 17-Jul-19 11:42:43

It's always more worrying looking after other people's children even if they are your grandchildren. We have all been there hazel93

Urmstongran Wed 17-Jul-19 11:53:23

We watch out two like hawks to the extent that my husband and I keep a beady eye on one each! But with the best will in the world accidents will happen. Trips, bumps etc.

We feel so bad if anything happens when on our watch. Luckily our daughter is pragmatic about it all.

BBbevan Wed 17-Jul-19 12:35:51

Face planted? Fell on her face ?

goldengirl Wed 17-Jul-19 12:38:18

Yep! I love my GC but I need eyes in the back of my head - and everywhere else when the little one come round - and the bigger ones too on occasion. I find it exhausting! DH is very laid back but I'm on tenterhooks. Luckily our son and daughter and the son and daughter in laws are all pragmatic too - but I just feel the responsibility [worry emoticon]

Bordersgirl57 Wed 17-Jul-19 13:02:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElaineI Wed 17-Jul-19 13:09:28

Yes it is horrendous when they hurt themselves in your care. I think I tend to overcompensate and rush around after them! At a country park last weekend and there was a huge slide. 2yo DGD wanted to go down again and again so went sitting on my knee until DD saw and told me she could go on herself with someone at top and bottom to catch her! I still had my heart in my mouth and ended up clunking my head making sure she was sitting properly!! She is a daredevil and wants to do everything her 5yo brother does!

Grannyknot Wed 17-Jul-19 13:26:59

I'm another one who has lost her nerve around young children! My grandson (age 4) went on a very high inflated slide which already had me in a flap, and then - the little blighter took off with a great big leap on to it instead of carefully sliding down on his back. This meant that he bounced down it whilst I had a mini heart attack.

The fact that I let him fall out of his pushchair at 6 months (strapped him in incorrectly) hasn't helped my nerves! Thank goodness for it being winter and lots of padding so no harm was done ...

Sara65 Wed 17-Jul-19 13:28:02

When my youngest was a toddler I left her with a dear friend while I went to work one afternoon, she took her to the local park, and she fell off the top of the slide, her face was grazed and swollen, and she had a black eye

I never held it again her

More recently I had my granddaughter at a water park, she slipped on a step , and her face smashed into the step above, blood everywhere!

KatyK Wed 17-Jul-19 15:36:59

I was the same. With my own, I just got on with it. With my granddaughter, I watched that poor child like a hawk and followed her from room to room blush

hazel93 Wed 17-Jul-19 15:38:31

Thanks everyone. So good to know I'm not that unusual !
Heaven help me once she is toddling !

Deedaa Wed 17-Jul-19 19:44:09

GS2 was running out of pre school in front of me and lost his footing and fell face first. Made an awful mess of his face which took ages to fade. I know it would have happened if his mother had been there, but still!

grannyqueenie Wed 17-Jul-19 20:28:29

It’s noticeable at our local swing park, that most parents there are sitting chatting etc h keeping a casual eye on the children. Meanwhile any “on duty” grandparents there are hovering around the children in their care! It does feel so much more of a responsibility when you’re not the parent!

JackyB Thu 18-Jul-19 00:12:28

As with my own kids I don't like to hamper their fun or make them unnecessarily fearful when climbing, riding their bikes, etc, so I stand well back.

Like every one else, though, inside I'm nearly panicking.

BlueBelle Thu 18-Jul-19 06:07:25

Oh don’t worry we are not infallible and do our best, when my granddaughter stayed with me once a long time ago we went to the swing park and she was in the baby (with bar across) swings I was gently swinging her when it seems like in a flash she leaned over whilst hoisting herself slightly and went straight over the bar onto her head
I was totally mortified and extremely worried rushed home and watched her like a hawk (for concussion) she was fine with no outward injuries She’s just turned 19 this month

BradfordLass72 Thu 18-Jul-19 07:52:25

When they fall, and we are the mother, no one is going to blame us - when we're the grandmother, they are.

As you say, you would have just done an upsy-daisy and given a loving hug but the immediate, albeit subconscious image of Mama's reaction and the fleeting fear of blame, is bound to be there.

Sara65 Thu 18-Jul-19 08:02:50

Unless we actually stop our grandchildren playing when they’re in our care, they’re bound to have the odd tumble, don’t feel guilty, it’s not like you’re neglecting your granddaughter, these things just happen

Theoddbird Thu 18-Jul-19 10:49:04

It happens...babies fall when learning to walk. Don't worry. You can't wrap a baby in cotton wool. Relax

Davida1968 Thu 18-Jul-19 10:58:24

Oh yes, I am always anxious about my DGC having an injury while in my care! (When they were little, they had to understand that when out with Grandma and Grandpa, there were different rules regarding "safety".) I was much less concerned about my own DS, when he was a child. I have photos of me & DS high up on castle battlements, with about six inches of wall on each side of us. DS was three at the time: I would have kittens if that was my DGC now - and they are much older.

inishowen Thu 18-Jul-19 12:28:37

My granddaughter shut her finger in the door when she was around two. Her dad happened to be in the house at the time but I was officially babysitting. He seemed angry with me, yet to me he was just as responsible. We can only do our best.

Patticake123 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:14:32

I’m with you here. Taking my grandchildren to the park is a nightmare for me, when they go on the swings, climbing frame etc, I’m like a cat on hot bricks, desperately trying to look relaxed when what I actually want to do is scream and take them onto the nice safe grass! With my own children, as you said, I’d kiss them better and let them get on with it.

EthelJ Thu 18-Jul-19 13:29:33

No, you are not the only one I am sure it has happened to us all, toddlers and babies on the move fall all the time and it's impossible to stop them having accidents in fact it is part of them growing and learning about the world . However I agree I feel much worse and worry more when looking after my GC than I did when it was my children. I think it's the responsibility for caring for such a precious thing that can sometimes seem overwhelming

CrazyGrandma2 Thu 18-Jul-19 13:32:26

Perfectly natural. I always make sure I tell their mother of any falls, incidents etc. I think the responsibility for GC is much tougher than the responsibility for my own kids.

Riggie Thu 18-Jul-19 14:07:00

I'm not a grandparent but as a mum...these things happen all the time, at home or in other peoples care (playgroup, relatives homes, schools)

And unless his mum is what MNers would call "hard work" I'm sure she understands!!