grandchild love seems overwhelming at times

I love my youngest grandchildren so very much they’re a real blessing to me and so loving 💕💕💕

I feel the same way as you, I thought I knew what loving someone was all about... but my grandson has taught me what it really means to love someone totally and unconditionally.. It literally breaks my heart to not be near him..

I just picked one out under "Grandparenting", MissInterpreted to "test" my theory and it was 2019.

MissInterpreted,
I think people are just looking through the forums under the various headings. This one is under "grandparenting." Some of the sub-sections don't have very many new threads to look at to be honest.

If an old thread gets revived its because it's relevant, that's why people respond.
I love my family, but they have lives of their own to live. I care very much but don't think of them all the time.

I’m going to be a Nan for the first time in December. I’m very close to my daughter and so very much looking forward to my first GC arriving.

An old post but an interesting topic. I relate more to NotSpaghetti et al. I love my grandchildren to bits, but my children will always come first - as their children will to them. When my first grandchild was born I was expecting the same rush of love I had with my own children, but it didn’t happen. I was a bit upset at first, but soon realised that love would grow as they did…..but it is a different sort of love. I do think that nature does this for a reason. When my children were small I would not have been able to bear being away from them for two weeks, but as a busy Grandma going on hol etc, I’m glad to see them when I get back off holiday etc but it’s not an issue. Also, I have a grandson that I don’t see. While this is very sad, if I had parental love for him it would be unbearable.

To be honest I was never maternal and suffered from post natal depression. As my only child grew up we became closer together. When my 2 grandsons were born it was like an explosion of love and I thought ‘So this is what maternal love is all about’.

I am very close to my son now and he to me 🥰

I love the bones of my GCs, I look forward to seeing them but also to waving them goodbye after a tiring day trying to keep up with them. Tomorrow I am on babysitting duties for my 6 month old GS, he is adorable but am sure that by the end of the day I will be glad hand him back.
X

Mebster I’m just like you!

Mebster

I love my grandsons so much that it feels overwhelming at times. They spend a lot of time with me but when they're not with me I think about them all the time. It's the greatest love I've ever experienced and I wonder if others feel the same.

No, I don't feel as you do. However I know we're all different.

NotSpaghetti

I don't think it matters how old a thread is - it is still resonating with some.

I don't doubt that. What I was wondering about was how such old threads get revived in the first place. Do people actively seek out old threads rather than posting a new one of their own? Just curious.

SueDonim

This topic has been raised on GN before and I discussed it with my dd at the time. She said that it's something that is talked about amongst new parents because they are aware it's become a 'thing'.

The consensus of opinion is that parents don't like it. It makes some of them wonder if they are now second rate, a mere vessel that produced the beloved grandchild and others feel that the adoring GP's are trying to undermine or compete with the parents. I was quite shocked when she said that but actually I see her point.

I very much love my own GC but I see my place as supporting my own children in their lives. Naturally one feels very protective towards small children but then I'd feel the same way about anyone who is vulnerable.

This pretty much sums up what I was going to post. The adoration by grandparents and, quite frankly, going completely gaga about grandchildren seems to be quite a modern "thing" as your DD says.

There are umpteen posts about it on Mumsnet from distressed new mums who say their mums or MILs want the grandchildren to call them "mummy" and even feign breastfeeding. One grandmother literally threw herself on the floor weeping uncontrollably because she hadn't seen the baby for 3 days. These are probably extreme examples, but it seems to have generally become a competition for affection fuelled by a strange form of hysteria.

I was born in the late 1950's and whilst grandparents were usually a source of love, it was so very different. They were often stricter than one's own parents and (other than exceptional circumstances) neither sought nor craved constant involvement in their grandchildren's lives.

I believe this trend may have developed partly due to social media but also grandparents having more disposable income and leisure time. They can afford to be indulgent, in terms of time, health and finances in a way that previous generations could not, and did not want to.

I don't think it matters how old a thread is - it is still resonating with some.

MissInterpreted

Marydoll

How do people find these very old threads? I have trouble finding ones from a few days ago! 😂

I was just about to ask that very same question? How do these old threads get revived? It seems a bit odd to me.

I wondered the same!

Now in my senior years I'm trying to show that affection that I failed to show to my children now to my grandchildren.

I can empathise with this. My husband's family (including his mother) rarely showed affection, which can make him seem rather cold and undemonstartive at times. It doesn't mean he doesn't love me.

However, now that we have grandchildren, he has become very affectionate and it is obvious that he adores them. It has had a knock on affect on the affectionate way he interacts with our own children.

In saying that he does not show favouritism for either of our grandchildren and if your family have noticed it, you need to moderate your behaviour and treat them equally.
My mother blatently favoured my middle child, it was extremely hurtful.

Keeperofpeace64

I truly love and adore all of my grandchildren... but i'm particularly close to one of my grandsons..
I've been chastised by some in my family for not hiding the affection I have for Adrian.. but alot just don't understand that of all my grandchildren Adrian is the only one who will tell me he loves me and hugs me without having to be asked..
I also feel guilty for loving him so much but I can't help it... He and I just bonded and I can't explain it..
Am I wrong for feeling this way.. ??

Yes if you are favouring one child over another then that is wrong.
As a mature adult you should treat them equally even if you don’t feel the same connection with all of them.

Why not start your own new thread rather than resurrecting an old one?

Marydoll

How do people find these very old threads? I have trouble finding ones from a few days ago! 😂

I was just about to ask that very same question? How do these old threads get revived? It seems a bit odd to me.

How do people find these very old threads? I have trouble finding ones from a few days ago! 😂

Willow- I don't think it's a touchy feely thing that makes grandparents overwhelmed ... my parents were definitely that.

THREAD FROM 2019

Mebster -
now wish I had been able to spend more time cherishing my own children instead of working such long hours

I wonder if you have found the key here?

I would do anything to keep the GC’s safe and healthy because I know how devastated my AC would be if anything happened

This is how I feel Calendargirl

I love my family dearly but my grandchildren are my children's first love.

I agree with MissAdventure and others.

I actually think it's rather odd to love them more than your own children and just don't understand why.

crystaltipps

Is this all encompassing love just when they are small and cute or does the melting continue when they are grumpy teenagers?

I did love mine more when he was small and cute. Now he’s 13 and grunts - not so much😂
I am joking of course!
I did love my granny and grandad even though we only saw them every 2/3 years. No messenger or FaceTime then either.
I see mine regularly, used to do quite a bit of child care but now degrees of separation are creeping in and he doesn’t need us so much.
That’s how it should be.