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Grandparenting

grandchild love seems overwhelming at times

(51 Posts)
Mebster Fri 09-Aug-19 19:32:31

I love my grandsons so much that it feels overwhelming at times. They spend a lot of time with me but when they're not with me I think about them all the time. It's the greatest love I've ever experienced and I wonder if others feel the same.

MissAdventure Fri 09-Aug-19 19:39:36

I have to be honest; no.

I think I may be in a minority though, judging by lots of other grans on here.

EllanVannin Fri 09-Aug-19 19:45:12

Not really.

M0nica Fri 09-Aug-19 19:49:18

MisAdventure I am with you. I have always had a busy life with work and hobbies and other responsibilities, and while my family are an integral part of my life and the most important people in it. They are not all encompassing.

MissAdventure Fri 09-Aug-19 19:58:24

That's a relief!
I always feel rather uncomfortable admitting it. smile

M0nica Fri 09-Aug-19 20:06:48

Well, if people want to think me cold and uncaring, that is their privilege, but when I read all the threads from grandparents devastated by not seeing their DC/DGC, or being made to feel that they are permanently on the back burner in their lives, or just wanted for their services, I look to the close relationship I have with my children and feel that the best way to keep your children and grandchildren is to let them go.

Esther1 Fri 09-Aug-19 20:14:04

Mebster! Yes, absolutely- I am the same as you. I had my children quite young and they have always been everything to me - and now the grandchildren too. It’s just the way we are, and I wouldn’t change it even if I could. I have a DH and a nice circle of friends, I have interests- but nothing comes close to how I feel and think about my grandchildren.

Callistemon Fri 09-Aug-19 20:14:52

Perhaps it is because we don't, in the main, have the care of them day-to-day, are not the ones to make the decisions about their lives that we feel a special protectiveness towards them and hope they're fine when they are not near?

I do think of mine and hope they are well and happy but not constantly.

Cherrytree59 Fri 09-Aug-19 20:15:06

Mebster I have to say that I have very strong emotional bond with my 3 Grandson's.

I was quite unprepared for the over whelming love I felt when my first grandchild was born.💕

I do help with child care so I have developed a special closeness which I regard as an immense privilege.

I had a very close bond with my grandparents especially my maternal grandmother.

I also have my own interests and commitments and spend time with friends etc.

However if I have not seen them for a few days, I start to get very twitchygrin

Minniemoo Fri 09-Aug-19 20:16:10

No, from me too.

Calendargirl Fri 09-Aug-19 20:21:53

No. I love my grandchildren, but I love my own children more. Having said that, I would do anything to keep the GC’s safe and healthy because I know how devastated my AC would be if anything happened to their offspring.

Fairydoll2030 Fri 09-Aug-19 20:30:56

Absolutely nothing wrong in adoring your grandchildren. I have - and will only ever have - one, but he is the spitting image of his dad, my son. They are very much alike and my DGS reminds me so much of my DS that I sometimes call them by each other’s names, barmy old woman that I am. I can’t help but adore both of them. There’s plenty of love to go round in our little family.
Remember the song (late 60’s I think) ‘What the World needs now is Love Sweet Love, that’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.’ Was it Dionne Warwick?

BlueBelle Fri 09-Aug-19 20:58:38

No from me too I love them all very very dearly and I d give any of them a kidney but they don’t overwhelm my life I accept they have their own lives
I m not cold I m a very loving Nan who tries very hard to show them lots of love and fun, but adoration, no

MissAdventure Fri 09-Aug-19 21:01:05

That was one of my mums favourite songs fairydoll.

I just had a memory of her singing it; I had forgotten smile

Miep1 Fri 09-Aug-19 21:04:00

No. I saw my eldest grandchild once when he was three months old (he's now 17) and have never seen any others - if they exist - as I described as 'dead' to any enquiries. Daddy continues to shell out, I expect, as he does towards my two younger daughters wit the same attitude

M0nica Fri 09-Aug-19 21:05:05

I do not do 'adoration', in any context. I love my nearest and dearest warts and all - but I am aware of the warts and that precludes adoration.

dragonfly46 Fri 09-Aug-19 21:15:26

No from me too. I love my DC and their off-spring, in fact they are my favourite people, but that love is not all encompassing. I am proud they are independent.

Namsnanny Fri 09-Aug-19 21:31:47

Mebster….I was totally unprepared for the love I felt. It was and is as you said over whelming.

I wasn't waiting or bothered about having gchildren.
In fact I often told my adult children how much hard work emotionally and physically being a parent was, and to try if they could to plan a full life before they became parents.

I managed to full fill a few of my hopes before the children came along, and I wanted them to do the same.

But as soon as I saw the gchildren a piece of me just melted.

Cherrytree, I had a very close and memorable relationship with my Nan too, and I've often wondered if this is why I feel so strongly about my GC. Giving them the love I cant give her, maybe.
Closing the circle so to speak.

Namsnanny Fri 09-Aug-19 21:34:12

MissAdventure, M0nica and others, were all just different and Thank goodness too!

mcem Fri 09-Aug-19 22:10:48

Please don't be offended mebster but have you spent your life as a 'family maker' or in a career or both?
I believe different circumstances may change attitudes.

Doodle Fri 09-Aug-19 22:47:25

I love my sons and their children very much. I have other interests but if any of them have bad problems my worry over them takes over everything else. I think if your DGC have issues you worry more about them. cherrytree you and me both.

Doodle Fri 09-Aug-19 22:54:33

I think mebster in view of what you are going through with your poorly DGS at the moment it is no wonder that you feel overwhelmed with love. You must also be totally exhausted.

janeainsworth Fri 09-Aug-19 23:09:23

I love my GC’s, and they know I do, but they are my children’s children, not mine.
I feel I would be treading on my children’s toes, and in a way trying to take away from them something that wasn’t rightfully mine, if I tried to forge a too close, overwhelming and highly emotionally charged relationship with the GCs.

GagaJo Fri 09-Aug-19 23:20:57

Yes! I adore my grandson. I'm still living a full life, including teaching full-time, but the time I spend with him gives my life meaning. It's like being in love but knowing you can pour all that love into them without risk or fear. Wonderful!

grannyqueenie Fri 09-Aug-19 23:27:17

What JaneA said.