Advice over grandsons and the battle of the chair!

Can you try a little of all of the suggestions, cos chances are they will all have an impact, but probably not for ever!

If it were me I would think ahead about something I could DO separately with each of them and bring that to the table when they argue.
Privaliges or attention for 8y and distraction for the younger one., and a calming cup of tea for you!!

I need to do some jobs.

We had a little ladder once. It had about four rungs to it. God knows what it was made for. Neither use to man nor beast.

If it's down to looking out of the window, could you find him a short ladder? Or saw the bottom bit off of a long one and give him that?

Ban both of them from the chair when the bickering starts again?

Do you think it is the chair or its position that most appeals to the elder boy? If it is the chair, perhaps a compromise could be found whereby it is moved to a different position in the room, and a different, smaller (inferior in the eyes of the 9 yr old) chair put in the position that the younger boy so likes?

This is so funny. Let 'em fight it out between 'em I say.

The two year old will soon toughen up.

a massive arm chair room for two then!

If the 9 year old spends too much time just sitting in the chair then he won't lose his newly acquired tubbiness!
Can you persuade him to go outside and kick a ball around or some other activity and the 2 year old can sit in the chair for a while (my bet is that he'll then want the ball though )

Two of my DGC (cousins) once had an almighty squabble over a chair (both were about 3 or 4 at the time) so I took it away and they both sat on cushions on the floor.

Move the chair? If it's huge couldn't they share sometimes? I know brothers don't always get on (I have 3 boys) but they can usually be persuaded that if both want to sit on it they must share or neither gets it. Mind you whatever you do, once it is resolved neither of them will want it!!!

Grannyknot, the little guy won’t get the timer. I will have to negotiate with DG 9 to vacate chair for a time. I agree Wildswan, I was thinking this last night.

Sorry, message to Bluebelle was for Absent.

Bluebell. It’s a massive armchair- already huge in room.

GS looks like he’s been inflated ?
DD is out so I’m on refereeing duty.

Thanks Bluebell but the 2 year old would not understand that.

Every time the 9 year old goes to stay with his father it means he feels "odd" when he comes back. So he has to ensure that this is home again. Which is probably why he tends to be a bit dominant over his little brother who in his eyes has had everyone's attention while he was gone.

Extra attention, with a few special "big boy" privileges (within reason) might help.

I feel in a situation like this someone needs to take charge (it should be your daughter is she is there, or, perhaps it is different if it is your home).

I'm also a fan of setting a timer. I use my phone to set a timer (that reinforces that I'm in charge); my grandson likes to "speak" the allowed time into my phone for e.g. how long he is allowed to watch telly, and when the timer goes off, off goes the telly and he accepts that. Sometimes he tries to negotiate for longer and depending on how I feel I may say "Okay one more minute" but mostly, we all stick to the timer rules.

Get two chairs
Does a child get tubby in a week?
If your daughter lives with you it’s her problem to solve not yours

Take timed turns – say, 5 minutes each. Set the kitchen/oven timer so everyone knows it's fair. Boring, but I have known it work in other situations.