Advice over grandsons and the battle of the chair!

Take timed turns – say, 5 minutes each. Set the kitchen/oven timer so everyone knows it's fair. Boring, but I have known it work in other situations.

Get two chairs
Does a child get tubby in a week?
If your daughter lives with you it’s her problem to solve not yours

I feel in a situation like this someone needs to take charge (it should be your daughter is she is there, or, perhaps it is different if it is your home).

I'm also a fan of setting a timer. I use my phone to set a timer (that reinforces that I'm in charge); my grandson likes to "speak" the allowed time into my phone for e.g. how long he is allowed to watch telly, and when the timer goes off, off goes the telly and he accepts that. Sometimes he tries to negotiate for longer and depending on how I feel I may say "Okay one more minute" but mostly, we all stick to the timer rules.

Every time the 9 year old goes to stay with his father it means he feels "odd" when he comes back. So he has to ensure that this is home again. Which is probably why he tends to be a bit dominant over his little brother who in his eyes has had everyone's attention while he was gone.

Extra attention, with a few special "big boy" privileges (within reason) might help.

Thanks Bluebell but the 2 year old would not understand that.

Sorry, message to Bluebelle was for Absent.

Bluebell. It’s a massive armchair- already huge in room.

GS looks like he’s been inflated ?
DD is out so I’m on refereeing duty.

Grannyknot, the little guy won’t get the timer. I will have to negotiate with DG 9 to vacate chair for a time. I agree Wildswan, I was thinking this last night.

Move the chair? If it's huge couldn't they share sometimes? I know brothers don't always get on (I have 3 boys) but they can usually be persuaded that if both want to sit on it they must share or neither gets it. Mind you whatever you do, once it is resolved neither of them will want it!!!

If the 9 year old spends too much time just sitting in the chair then he won't lose his newly acquired tubbiness!
Can you persuade him to go outside and kick a ball around or some other activity and the 2 year old can sit in the chair for a while (my bet is that he'll then want the ball though )

Two of my DGC (cousins) once had an almighty squabble over a chair (both were about 3 or 4 at the time) so I took it away and they both sat on cushions on the floor.

a massive arm chair room for two then!

This is so funny. Let 'em fight it out between 'em I say.

The two year old will soon toughen up.

Ban both of them from the chair when the bickering starts again?

Do you think it is the chair or its position that most appeals to the elder boy? If it is the chair, perhaps a compromise could be found whereby it is moved to a different position in the room, and a different, smaller (inferior in the eyes of the 9 yr old) chair put in the position that the younger boy so likes?

If it's down to looking out of the window, could you find him a short ladder? Or saw the bottom bit off of a long one and give him that?

We had a little ladder once. It had about four rungs to it. God knows what it was made for. Neither use to man nor beast.

I need to do some jobs.

Can you try a little of all of the suggestions, cos chances are they will all have an impact, but probably not for ever!

If it were me I would think ahead about something I could DO separately with each of them and bring that to the table when they argue.
Privaliges or attention for 8y and distraction for the younger one., and a calming cup of tea for you!!

Is it raining tbere?

I can't understand why a 9 year old would want to sit for any length of time and look at a garden.
My DGC have been out in the garden today (it was drizzling a bit but that didn't put them off).
Then it did rain harder so they came in, they did gymnastics around the sitting room and played hide and seek. Then the younger one remembered she'd left her shoes out in the rain

Say no to both....tell them it is your chair.

an egg time with sand running though it might be better for the 2 year old

Why not just send them out into the garden to play rather than have to look at it from inside the house!

Good gawd...is this really the level we're at, bargaing with two kids as to who has a particular chair...?
Unbelievable!!

Gabriella whatcyou are failing to understand us that this is of vital importance, deep significance and its relevance to the wider world.

What hope for the world if two brothers can squabble over territory like this? It is Cain and Abel, Romulus and Remus all over again.

Whatever.

Sorry, fat finger!

BlueBelle

*Get two chairs
Does a child get tubby in a week?
If your daughter lives with you it’s her problem to solve not yourself*
Two chairs might not fit
Yes a child CAN get tubby in a week - we’ve just had a week in Italy and we’ve all put on a couple of lbs but I can actually see it most in my 9 yr old.
They live together and presumably eat together so of course Grandma takes an active interest -
I would distract the little one and occasionally ask 9yr old to hold his brother on the window chair to keep him safe - give him a bit of responsibility.
If 2yr old whacks his brother for being in the way, he should be immediately gently reprimanded, removed and distracted.
This stage won’t last for long??