A dil who needs advice ☹

That was extremely rude, and I agree, that asking her did she mean to be so rude is probably appropriate.

If it continues, I'd suggest setting a boundary. "MIL, that was extremely hurtful. You will apologize for that remark and not repeat it or similar, or this visit will be over." Then follow through.

If she continues to be nasty, then you may need to stop visiting her altogether. I'd only recommend that, though, if she doesn't start behaving appropriately.

You may be a little over sensitive at the moment tinytink1919 but that was a really rude remark from your mother in law. I think you need to stand up to her now or she will continue in this way. As others have said you need to present a united front with your husband.
Congratulations on your new baby, enjoy your life together.

I wouldn’t laugh it off or try and come back with some witty retort as she sounds like the sort of person who will store this up and use it to paint you as the bad person. I’d call her out on it - tell her that her comments are not funny, they are incredibly rude and unless she starts being civil she is no longer welcome. Your DH needs to back you up on this - you’re a partnership and if you present as a couple she’ll come to realise you mean business. She sounds awful.

You need to grow a backbone and stand up to this woman NOW or things will get a lot worse. If she upsets you at her house, just pick up the child and leave. If it's at your house, ask her to leave and, if she refuses, say it is unlikely she will be invited very often again if she continues to make such awful comments. Make sure your husband is on your side and you face her as a united front.

If I was on mumsnet, I tell you to say, 'I don't know how(hubby) turned out to be so nice when he has such a bitch for mother!' and smile.

I'd be inclined to say 'Oh, he reminds me of you when he looks like that!'

But better, perhaps, to say 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything!'

However you decide to deal with it, it's her who has the problem. Is your FiL around? He must be/have been much nicer than her and your husband must take after him - I hope.

Wont be that long until the child starts to take in what she is doing.

Child will either learn its okay to be like her
Or will learn to "take" that sort of treatment from others if they see you brushing/laughing it off.

This woman won't change, sounds passive aggressive and Im assuming (perhaps wrongly) your husband was not present when this was said. I would let this pass BUT if she decides to continue with this behaviour, I suggest you speak to your husband and the two of you speak to her together. I agree with the previous poster who said "nip this in the bud" if you dont this woman will make your life hell. What is it with these women? I would be trying to help my daughter-in-law with her new baby, not trying to make her life a misery. Don't put up with this nastiness for one second. I really cannot get over that she said this to you. Terrible thing to say to a young mum.

Pretend to be deaf and make her repeat it. It's hard to repeat such a nasty thing.

Tell her you didn't marry her son because of his mum but despite her!

I hope I am not an awful MiL. I adore all the DGC and admire all their parents. It's the only way.
I hope you find a way to manage her and protect yourself from the nasty remarks.

Nip it in the bud now or it will only get worse! Good advice from mumofmadboys.

It was of course a very rude and hurtful thing to say. I guess it's going to be her way forward, anything she sees as a positive trait must come from her side of the family. I would be inclined to laugh it off. She is obviously a very silly woman but she's not going to go away so finding a way where you can ignore any hurtful comments us the way to go
Enjoy your time with your new baby and don't allow her to mar this special time.

Could you say 'Did you mean to be quite SO rude?' with a quizzical look on your face? And then say'I sincerely hope not!!'

What a nasty woman - my d.i.l.s don't realise how lucky they are ?

Tell her he must get it from her then as he looks so like their side of the family, nasty woman, she won't know what to say.

She may have thought it was funny! You may be super sensitive because of your hormones. Please don't take any notice or do anything drastic, if not for yourself then for your DH. Does it really matter? In the overall scheme of things do you really care if she thinks that?

I know families love to think the baby looks like their side and only see what they want to see. Perhaps you could say the age old thing "all babies look like Winston Churchill"?

Not everyone is blessed with empathy so you can be the bigger person and not take it personally.

As time goes on your baby is going to grow into a toddler who will look most like the person he spends most time with. One of my GSs looks like his father and one like his mother but now the younger one is taking on the expressions of the older one and looks more like him.

Please don't be upset, it really isn't worth it.

She sounds like a nasty piece of work horrible woman. Does your husband know she’s so awful? I too would have a job keeping my mouth shut and want to make sure she knows you won’t stand for it.
I do hope your husband supports you. Good luck.

My advice is to nip it in the bud now. How old is your baby?

As a new mum you have so much to think and I dare say worry about without having to worry about your m.i.l. making unnecessary and hurtful comments.

In your position I wouldn't turn it into a joke, I'd tell her that I found it offensive and I wasn't going to be spoken too like that. She may, if a similar thing happens again say that she was only joking but by standing up to her, with any luck she'll be more guarded with her remarks.

I hope you get this sorted and congratulations.

Good advice from Nellie and might I add that you turn it into a big joke next time. Just say 'OH, you're SO funny!' and laugh your head off. Practise in front of a mirror so you'll be ready!
It can be like water off a duck's back then.

Tell your husband that if she says hurtful things in front of him, you expect him to put his foot down with her, though.

She does not sound a nice person and it was a very hurtful comment but one way to combat remarks is to agree. Just say "yes you are right" and walk away before you say anything else. You know it is not true as does your husband but store this comment for another day as I am sure it will not be the last. It that was me, once she had left I would probably let my frustration out, but not on anyone. Try it a few times, the agreeing that is and see what happens.