screen addiction breaking my heart

My GS is 11yrs tomorrow and I had no idea what to get him for his birthday. Unfortunately these days things like Lego and Meccano or out of the window no interest shown so I had no option but to fall back onto clothing. His parents are brought in a football kit which alone cost £100. He’s got a brother who is 8yrs.
Christmas is coming and this afternoon I’ve had a chat with their mother who also has no idea what to get them so like me we just going to have to get clothing again. This is so boring for children of this age. It’s just all so sad. They just seem to live for football and computers i.e. fortnight et cetera

Sorry for the typing mistakes!

He would love a Nintendo Switch.

Don't read that post!

Thankyou Antonia.

Nan’s house, Nan’s rules.

I must add we have got a Wii. Keeps me fit as well.

Are you letting your DGC rule your life - and theirs?

My daughter limits my grandsons time on tablets phones etc I think it’s a good idea, I must admit I’m online a lot myself for various bits n pieces, it’s definitely a sign of the times

It breaks my heart too, also when I see parents in the store who let their little ones use a device to pacify them, or...to see the parents themselves be glued to one while their child is trying to get their attention!

I am grateful my grandsons (8 and 6) are not yet addicted. No screen time when they are with us, except for 30 minutes of Minecraft (happens rarely!) or watching a movie together (only when sick or for a sleepover). When they are over at my house they love to play outdoors with their imagination, or digging in the dirt, or swinging.
Today I picked them up from school and took them to a garden that was once privately owned, but donated to our local conservation district. We were the only ones visiting; it's a hidden gem with ponds and streams and lots of trees and shrubs. Perfect for two little boys to explore.
I wonder if you could get them to join you for an exploration in a park?

This year I am cutting down on gift giving for Christmas. Just one toy each (salvaged robots that can walk and were thrown out with someone's trash , with lots of other good toys and books. I got it all, saved some and donated the rest to charity). They will get those on Christmas Eve to have something under the tree, and on the first Advent Sunday they each get a ticket for a Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer musical on December 6th. They will go with just me as the tickets are $34 each. That is their big Christmas gift

I think many (most?) parents today no longer know how to connect with, or attune to, their children, probably because they themselves grew up with computer games and internet! Add to that stress from daily life and you have a recipe for fleeing from reality, to a screen! Used to be just television, but now there are more options with a computer...too many! Plus, almost everyone has a handheld available all the time, so you never have to be bored, or be alone with your thoughts, anymore. I rarely use my smart phone; prefer my laptop still, and I never use it in the presence of the grandkids.
It is indeed the parents and other adults in the child's life who are modeling this unhealthy behavior. The future looks bleak indeed! Many more suicides no doubt, because people will feel more and more lonely.

When I was a child I knew that Grandma did not like me to behave in certain ways (interrupt her, elbows on the table etc). I had no trouble learning this even though I did not like it much. When my daughter was small she spent time with her grandparents and knew that she was expected to behave as they wanted her to. She was not allowed, for instance, to turn on the tv without asking first. My niece, of the same age, would become enraged about these rules. The difference between them was that they were parented differently. I insisted that my daughter followed any external rules imposed on her by other adults. My brother did not think that his daughter should be denied anything that she wanted. Guess which child grew up happier and more able to fit into society?

Thanks for all the input. Older child is physically disabled so outdoor play and clubs not really possible. I allow lots of screen time but almost every "break" is met with moaning or tantrums. There are clearly no/few limits at home.
I'm no match for them at these games so they don't want to play with me. Sad but parents are hostile when I try to suggest limits.

I would sit your GC down and talk to them, tell them you would like to do other things, what would they enjoy apart from the tablets. Explain to the 8 year old that he needs to be grown up here and show his sibling that there is more to life than screens.
If something good enough is on offer the screens will go down I assure you.
Not sure what funds are available but if a visit to go ape or similar was on offer I doubt they would want to go home.
It is a sign of our time now that a lot of enjoyment is on a screen, but you are the adult make something more interesting.

Typical of me didn’t read until the end but a lot of activity centres will cater for disabled children. Research it.

Bit of drip feeding of information there.

I don't know the answer. My GS is now 12 so it's impossible to just take the phone away. When he gets in from school he spends about 3 minutes telling me about his day. Then out comes the phone and I may as well not be there. I have said to him that I understand he wants to relax but not to be on it all the time. He agrees but it doesn't work. I bet if I didn't try to intervene he could easily spend 3 hours on the darned thing. So sad as we do not do the things we used to do. Fortunately he belongs to a football club and another club and, when he's with me in the school holidays, I organise days out. But the phone always comes too and the phone wins. For example if we go on a train he's on it playing games. In fact, on a train the other day (lovely and sunny) I looked around to see how many people were looking at the scenery. In a packed carriage it was only me!!

How about not having an internet connection at all in your house?

It is doable. If you strong enough. Or can be strong.

Your household is your household hon,
You can do what you want with it.
It will do them good not to have screen time

painting

And I know that is not the whole answer, as I've got that battle too.
But we need to carve out space somehow
all best
painting

I feel sorry for the children who are ignored by their parents who are on their mobiles constantly. I hear it every day when on the bus, Mum?
'Shut up'!
Mum?
'Shut up'!
Mum?
'I said shut up!!'

Breaks my heart.