I agree with BlueBelle that they will probably grow apart and I am fairly sure she will see through her manipulative man eventually.
Meanwhile, you need to set more boundaries, this time with your daughter.
She is possibly feeling guilty that she is so depenednt upon you and who knows what he is saying to her?
Don't wait until you are angry with one another before talking to her; sit down at some calm, quiet time and tell her how you feel when she speaks to your disrespectfully.
Assure her you love her but you do deserve respect (from anyone, not just your daughter) and if she has problems with how you speak or act, then you can have a conference to discuss it in a rational manner.
Most of all you need to preserve that bond between you and I would guess its as precious to her as it is to you.
You have done a heroic job so far and far more than most would attempt; it's not easy, that's for sure but you and your daughter should be pulling together, not apart.
I wish you all well.
Old sayings with a theme 2 ( continuing *nanna8*'s thread)
Last weekend, in Rutland, the first statue in Britain of the late Elizabeth II was unveiled.