Darling GS

It is very difficult. We've always had a prickly relationship but got on better when living far apart.

I get annoyed with her disregard of care for my house. She gets very difficult when she has PMT (getting worse the older she gets). She also feels I've controlled her whole life and blames me for a lot of things. Personally, I wish she'd be more responsible and take more responsibility for her actions. Two sides of the same coin. Completely different opinions. Ultimately though, I MUST learn to bite my tongue regardless. Because I know her and what she will do.

I'm now trying to stay out of her way. I'm out at work from 7am to 7pm and am retiring to my room after GS is in bed.

I'll be gone from Jan to June for work so she'll have the place to herself (or with a lodger, her choice). I really hope that will fix things a bit. Although I'll miss my GS a lot, the lack of arguing will be better for him.

Are their particular things that you and your DD argue about? Could you sit down and think what you might do to avoid igniting the flames? I am not suggesting that you are necessarily in the wrong here - but you have a lot to lose, so being one step ahead in preventing flare-ups might be n your interest.

It is often difficult for an adult child to be back under the parental roof. Difficult for everyone.

No. I am, however, about to go overseas for work in Jan. To be honest, I don't think it would make much difference. Grandparents have no rights anyway. I'm hoping the time I'm away will clear the air between my daughter and I a bit. Living together really isn't good for us.

I wish I hadn't got so enmeshed with his life really. It'd be a lot easier if I were a more 'remote' grandparent.

The other thing to keep in mind is the costs that are involved in making a case.

Your daughter is a single mom with nowhere to live right now. If she is able to move, and you start a court case against her, that could well require money that she doesn't have. That's food coming out of your GS's mouth.

It comes down to what you think is more important.

I can see why you’re worried.
As you say you would have a good argument for visitation.

However if you were to peruse this you would have to do so immediately after visitation was stopped.
The entire basis of your argument would be that he has a strong consistent bond with you.

The moment you go a month,2,3 without seeing him you’ve lost that argument.

Are there living conditions likely to improve? Does she work?