I'm not the mother he expected, and probaby won't be the grandmother he expcts either

I'm another one who thinks it's a good thing that DS told you what's been bothering him, mothercat. And it's good to know it wasn't about money either. I'm sorry that he felt abandoned when you went back to school/work, but I know that wasn't your intention and, IMO, it's good that it's out in the open.

Kudos to you for not trying to defend yourself! I know that must be hard. But it would only have led to arguing, etc. The important thing is that now he felt "heard."

I'm also glad there is no concrete reason for him to fear that you would break plans w/ your new GC, etc. Please make sure that, in the near future, you plan any dates w/ DS and family carefully, so you don't have to change plans, etc, you know, just not to give DS any ammunition or whatever the correct word would be.

Enjoy your new grandbaby!

The latest insults:

DS criticised how much I gave my grandson for his birthday!
(OK, more than mine used to get - but I can afford it now)

DS wondered how tall he would have grown if he had been 'properly fed' (he was). He's six feet two and sixteen stone. How big did he want to be?

I just laugh these days!

Hetty58

The present complaint is a very common one.

If gp are upstaging the parents, it is valid
If gp are giving a present the parents wanting to give, like a first bike, for example, it is valid
If parents gave a limit of quantity, monetary amount and passions, they have a reason for it.

It has nothing to do with the amount of money you have now vs when your ds was a child.

Hetty58 If only I could laugh. My eldest says the most unkind and untruthful things to us. My husband says it is because he has a huge chip on his shoulder and has done for the last three years. He reckons it is because he knows he has made some really bad decisions which he will have to live with. Therefore he takes it out on us. He is usually sorry but I feel once he has said it, it's there. I get terribly upset.

My daughter (dog lover) once commented that female dogs are more nurturing towards their young than female cats.

Not sure how true that statement is but I can say for sure that cats are more independent by nature. I remember telling DD jokingly to be thankful that she had been raised by cats