Bittersweet first Grandchild

What a thread! Children make their own decisions and moving overseas is common. Did none of you ever move? I lived in Australia so all my three children are Australians who live in UK, Australia and St Lucia. We lived in Papua New Guinea so we have always visited, used Whstsapp, Facetime etc. Many of you seem to take the view that voting to leave was selfish and stupid. But we were nothing of the sort and those who voted remain and then refused to accept the referendum have got your comeuppance! The Tory majority is the result of Labour members electing a very unpopular leader. I am surprised that people cannot use the many methods of modern communication available. I am now a widow of 10 years but i do not expect my children to live near me when opportunity knocks overseas!

The year I married we moved to the Caribbean. (Completely unexpected as we had just bought our first home)
My parents thought they would never see me again but the opposite was the case, especially once the grandchildren came along.
I spent at least the six week summer holidays back in the UK and they spent 6-8 weeks during the winter sunning themselves with us.
At least these days there is what's app, FaceTime, etc. Please don't be too despondent OP.

A friend of mine has a son who moved to Oz a couple of years ago with his dw and ds, although nothing to do with Brexit. My friend flies over regularly and spends 6m in Oz and six months in England. It works very well. In fact I'm jealous. No chance of mine emigrating though. (No, I wouldn't really want them to!)

Meant to say *leaving, dyslexic and not a very good writer! They haven’t left yet thankfully!

I think I shall stop writing on this thread, rather than gain support for a tough time it has turned into an argument of whether my children actually left because of brexit or if I am a closet remainer and considering I understand very little about the ins and outs of brexit other than the issues that directly affect my family I’m not going to get into an argument.
To those that were supportive thank you, it helps to know that there are many other grandmothers out there in the same situation. It is very cheering to know that when you do see your grandchildren they know you and you have a special bond.
I’m going to try focus on the good in this situation now. I’m lucky enough to be able to visit at least once a year, which not everyone on this thread can do.

Hetty58.....you do not know anyone who has lost their job due to Brexit???? So you are not aware of all the EU medical research programmes removed from the UK and given to mainland EU? Nor the car factories that closed....nor all the small businesses that dealt with the EU mainly who have lost their contracts? can I suggest you check go to Google and put in ‘number of jobs/companies lost to Brexit’.....

Tigertooth and Nanoftwo that is what I said and reported it. The result - GN removed my post?!?!

Such a sad position for families... no point in pretending otherwise, though of course you will make the best of things and find many ways of staying in touch. My daughter’s partner is French. I moved to the same city to help look after their beautiful baby, who has dual citizenship. She is nearly two now, with me two days every week as well as some evenings and weekends. Nothing could replace this precious time together - but I don’t know how long it will last. They are furious over Brexit and I dread them leaving for France - as he would like eventually to do, after feeling undervalued here despite contributing to British life in an important profession.

And on it goes - the idea that the 'whole country' voted to leave the EU is false.

It was mainly England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland voted to remaining the EU, by a substantial majority.

If the UK is a "union", and that function is important, why are we disregarding the will of the people of 2 of its constituent parts.

Unless of course it is not a union, and just England and a couple of vassal states.

We had throughout the 1980s and 1990s a significant and diverse industrial base, but we chose to rely on a more administrative, financial, retail and other service industries for the country's wealth.

I don't believe I am being negative, but I was happy with the UK's economic diversity, which could have fared much better if there had been the political will to invest. I am less happy today, when our economic prosperity seems to rely on a large number of less tangible activities, where our key roles are to offer services that support imported goods.

Ah well - I suppose I should start accepting that the UK has chosen a challenging future path.

I still worry greatly for my grandchildren in these uncertain times.

Cryxiters? Just made it up

The word “remoaners” is used over and over again. Is there a similarly perjorative word for Brexiters? Just curious.

While you have my sympathy on a personal level, I can't have any sympathy for you voting to leave the EU. The remain side stated this is what would happen but people said it was fear mongering and fake news. A bit like last week when turkeys voted for Christmas. My son works for French company and I can assure you I considered that when voting for remain. Hope it works out for you OP.

I understand how sad you feel, Dilly. Four of my five kids emigrated to Australia. One came back after five years, with my only two GC. Since then I have had another GC born out there. She is nearly three now. We chat twice a week on video chat, and have built a good relationship. I am visiting them all for Christmas, and she accepted me as her Grandma at once. We are having lots of fun and cuddles.
I also have a GC due in May, first one for my son and DIL, and hope that they will also make time for me to build up a relationship with him/her. My one regret is that, as I am now 80 I may not be around long enough for them to build up memories of me. The only grandparent I met died when I was six, and I don’t really remember her at all.
I hope that your family will also make sure that you can chat and interact with your little ones. Being separated is sad, but technology makes keeping in contact so much easier.

If it rains tomorrow it will be blamed on Brexit.

I sympathise with Dilly because it is bad enough to have your family leave the UK because of brexit, and it must be even worse if you voted for it. I think she is brave to admit she was wrong and she will have to live with that, but it won't be easy to miss so much family time, especially with a new grandchild.

I can't help noticing which posters have attacked her and refused to believe either that brexit is the direct cause of the brexit brain drain or even suggesting that she lied about voting for it because they can't understand any leave voter changing their mind.

Stella14 I'm in the North East too and absolutly agree with you regarding Nissan.

Originally I'm from the North West and so much of the regeneration of that area was due to E.U funding...has that been forgotten.
We also need to be aware that IF it's a "no-deal", and other countries take a hardline, how many people will be on the next boat back to blighty!!

Stella14 - yes hopefully we will reap what we sow. What I find when reading or hearing from Remainers is such a negative, desolate and vindictive point of view. There is always a nasty, sarcastic comment to be made. All who voted Leave are xenophobic racists who believe everything they read in the papers who hark back to the 'good old days" and voted Leave and for BJ because of what he put on the side of a bus. This is simply untrue. There are pros and cons of leaving the EU, it won't be all good but it won't be all bad either. There is a piece written by a Sue Wilson on behalf of expats in Spain called Bremain. She stated that she desperately wanted a hung parliament or wanted this government' to fail, how treacherous is that. Remain or Leave is no longer the issue. WE ARE LEAVING. You are either with your country, warts and all, or against it. If anyone has their doubts about Boris Johnson's integrity it's nothing compared to Jeremy Corbyn's whose own shadow cabinet had worries over national security issues if he would have become PM.

Companies have made decisions based on brexit 2016 results, not just 2019.
So this doesn't come out of blue - layoffs, HQ moving to EU, etc

Nannan2,
It is very hard to believe your posts.
It is like you want your cake and eat it too, but obviously younger generation will look for a brighter future, regardless where it is.
Your suggestions are very self serving.
Retrain? In some cases, it could work. However, working at minimum salary, starting your career from scratch is not easy and works for everybody

"Or fly at night so you could sleep through most of it? Or if your daughters company have a private jet could they not let her bring the family to you just for once?just trying suggestions to try help you personally ?"
Flying overnight- have you tried sleeping in a plane? It doesn't work that way!
And have you forgotten a little side effect called jetlag?
So no, travelling at night so they can see you does not work.
How about you travelling at night to see them?

The private jet - oh please let me continue laughing.
Unless the person is a C level executive, this is just delusional.
"Human resources, can I borrow the private jet so the grandmas in the UK can see their grandkids? I promise to return it in one piece and full tank"

Please come back to this dimension.

This thread doesn’t ring true?
Glad my current painful situation doesn’t sound true to you, but it feels very real to me.
I’m not a remoaner, I voted bloody brexit, but because it is directly effecting my family I do regret my vote. Till this point I’ve never been politically inclined but obviously anything involving my children has me feeling very wound up. I still don’t really understand brexit or what will happen once it goes through.

Understand you feeling upset. Part of my family emigrated to Germany because of the job he wanted which paid less in UK, before Brexit was even thought about. He stayed there because he married a German girl and she wanted to be near her family. It’s an extra effort to keep in touch but thank heavens for Skype and even easier with FaceTime.

While I am truly sorry for you I am afraid we will be hearing many more of these I didn't realise stories from people who voted to leave.

Stella14 - I agree with you, I find myself lost in a country that has become more judgemental, finger wagging, and more intolerant.

The writing has been spelled out in words of one syllable to Nissan employees for a couple of years. It amazes me that they voted to lose their jobs.

I live near Nissan UK. The majority of voters in this area voted Leave. Now they are surprised that Nissan is reducing it’s production and workforce here. Despite now seeing the fallout of this and for people like the OP, the country has now re-elected a Tory Government to guarantee Brexit As another poster said, you reap what you sow. I don’t recognise my fragmented, intolerant, xenophobic country anymore

That's an interesting view Tigertooth.

Since leave "won", where can I find out what it is we have "won"?

Is it not the case that the leave campaign has been going on for years - hence Nigel Farage, the ex-Tory - who has led this campaign.

Isn't that 'moaning', and shouldn't he have 'got over it' since the UK was a member of the EU for over 40 years, and has had many benefits.

So perhaps a campaign should now be started to join the EU, and if it takes 10 or 20 years - why not?

Isn't the issue no deal or B.J deal ?
Surely that's the question before planning a move.
For me there's still uncertainty until we know which way it will go. Regardless of views and how people voted, there’s always a bottom line.
For me that line is, a country outside the customs union cannot have the same rights and benefits as an E.U. member state!