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Baby shower in Canada that I can’t be there for, what is the right thing to send?

(41 Posts)
Pogle Wed 12-Feb-20 21:17:29

I will be flying over to meet my new grandchild in May, and had been planning to bring various gifts with me then, but have just been invited to a surprise baby shower for my d-in-law by her sister. This will be in a fortnight, which I obviously can’t get to. I am not sure, having never experienced a baby shower, what would be the best thing to do. Any advice gratefully received!

GrannyLaine Sat 15-Feb-20 13:48:18

@starlady she does tend to see thing in black and white! BUT having seen at first hand (and several times over) just how many gifts a baby receives I think we need to be sensible. Gifts. are given with the best of intentions but the needs of a newborn are very simple and parents will almost always have taken a lot of trouble to choose exactly what they want for their expected baby. Less is sometimes more.

Witzend Sat 15-Feb-20 13:37:04

People receive so many soft toys/baby outfits at these do’s. I’d go for a board book that will be enjoyed a bit later. Each Peach Pear Plum is a lovely one, ditto Peepo!

beverly10 Sat 15-Feb-20 13:26:49

Pogle
I imagine you would have received an invitation regardless of whether you could have been there. Were it me I would arrange for a floral arrangement to be delivered on the day of the shower specifying to the florist what the occasion would be.When you are able to visit then take a gift or let the new 'mom' choose while there.

Starlady Sat 15-Feb-20 12:52:07

"Don’t bother sending anything to an event you aren’t attending."

"I like to even if I cant attend in person. Maybe the OP wants to contribute to treating her DIL at her shower"

I like to as well. You (general) don't have to, but I like to.

Starlady Sat 15-Feb-20 12:50:06

"My youngest daughter (who is pretty forthright and doesn't yet have children) was invited to a friends baby shower and commented incredulously '"So they have a party where I'm expected to take a gift and then the baby is born and I take another gift...... because the baby has arrived. I think I'll pass on the baby shower""

Well, that's her prerogative, of course. Personally, if I give a shower gift, I don't necessarily bring another gift after the baby is born. Depends on how close I am to the family. But it wouldn't bother me to give a new baby two gifts (or more if they're inexpensive). Always glad to give gifts to welcome a new child into this world and help the parents get started on their childcare journey!

notanan2 Fri 14-Feb-20 08:02:03

Don’t bother sending anything to an event you aren’t attending.

I like to even if I cant attend in person. Maybe the OP wants to contribute to treating her DIL at her shower

vegansrock Fri 14-Feb-20 06:23:23

Don’t bother sending anything to an event you aren’t attending. Take a thoughtful present when you go.

agnurse Fri 14-Feb-20 02:56:50

My suggestions:

A nice book or two for the baby, such as a lovely board book.
A babygro or sleeper. (I'd suggest getting a 3-6 month size - babies of course grow quickly and some can be large at birth to start with.)
A nice receiving blanket - can never have too many of those!

These are all things that will travel well and not get damaged. I agree that you may like to send it to the organizer and she can present it on your behalf.

Callistemon Thu 13-Feb-20 23:01:38

Oh, thank you.
I've never heard of either

notanan2 Thu 13-Feb-20 20:34:05

Plaster casting of bump: either made into a bowl or painted as nursery wall art

Bump painting: like face painting..

Callistemon Thu 13-Feb-20 19:55:12

Maybe a bump painter or caster

notanan that sounds very interesting but - what is it?

Summerlove Thu 13-Feb-20 19:46:23

*I don’t think

Summerlove Thu 13-Feb-20 19:46:02

I got the point. It’s a surprise party. Think anybody missed that, because they were posters suggesting talking to the hostess.

You can absolutely post them before the event.

To the hostess of the shower.

Callistemon Thu 13-Feb-20 19:06:38

Summerlove you just didn't get the point.

Everyone's ideas were good.

Just don't post them before the event.

Callistemon Thu 13-Feb-20 19:05:45

Thank you GrannyLaine
I certainly didn't want to shout down other peoples' opinions, I was just hoping the OP would pick up on the fact that it is a surprise because people were advising to post off a small present.

Peter Rabbit is a good idea and would be light to post to THE SISTER-IN-LAW.

There, shouting again
wink

V3ra Thu 13-Feb-20 19:03:27

I think it's lovely and very considerate that your daughter in law's sister has invited you to the baby shower, rather than leaving you out.
You should definitely join in the fun, even though it's from a distance.
I'd suggest a present with a definite English/British theme, eg a Peter Rabbit toy.

GrannyLaine Thu 13-Feb-20 15:58:05

Play nicely now.
Callistemon makes a valid point and I didn't perceive it as shouting down others opinions.

My youngest daughter (who is pretty forthright and doesn't yet have children) was invited to a friends baby shower and commented incredulously '"So they have a party where I'm expected to take a gift and then the baby is born and I take another gift...... because the baby has arrived. I think I'll pass on the baby shower"

Granny23 Thu 13-Feb-20 15:50:19

A much appreciated gift (that I sent in similar circumstances),
was a 'Baby Book'. It was the kind that you fill in with birthdate, weight, innoculations, etc. It had a section for listing presents received and another for scan and 1st photographs. I still have just such a book from 50 years ago when DD1 was born and gave one to both DDs when their babies were nearly due,

Summerlove Thu 13-Feb-20 15:41:46

I was certainly no bossier than you were?

You “shouted” down well meaning posters for giving their opinions and advice. No one suggested that a present be sent directly to the DIL.

A quick warning not to do so would have been better than “shouting” that we had all advised her poorly

Callistemon Thu 13-Feb-20 10:17:39

Ps and no need to be bossy Summerlove

Callistemon Thu 13-Feb-20 10:16:59

Summerlove I have never shouted before at all but no-one seemed to be listening and kept suggesting sending a present.

Actually, just carry on.

Starlady Thu 13-Feb-20 04:03:07

Congratulations on your comint GC, Pogle! Bet you can't wait for May! Hope your DIL has an easy delivery!

I definitely think you should check with DIL's sister before buying anything to try to avoid duplicates, etc. I hear some parents today have a baby registry, so you might want to ask the sister about that. And yes, of course, if you send a gift, do send it to the sister for the reason others have said. You don't "have to" send anything since you're not attending, but maybe just a small token and then still bring your other gifts when you visit.

Txquiltz Thu 13-Feb-20 02:39:45

There are so many lovely story books in the U.K....filled with fantasies and beautiful illustrations. While the story might be found in the US, the illustrations are just so plain! Send a wonderful book to be read to your GC and I would have no doubt they will learn it was a "special" gift from you. ??

Summerlove Thu 13-Feb-20 01:48:56

Callistemon

No one suggested she send the gift to mom to be.

I’m sure we all assumed she’d send the gift to the organiser.

No need to shout

rosecarmel Thu 13-Feb-20 00:22:33

After the shower you can ask her to go online and pick out something she didn't receive but still needs-