If her doctor and midwife are happy with the idea well and good. If there are medical indications of a difficult birth once labour starts they will act fast and get her to hospital.
My father was a GP in the days were most babies were born at home. I remember him once or twice sending a woman post-haste into hospital when he saw her just after her labour had started, but usually a home confinement ended up with a healthy baby and mother.
Obviously, he and the midwife discussed the progress of their patients' pregnancies and insisted on hospital deliveries if there were adverse medical indications.
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Grandparenting
giving birth to first child at home
(124 Posts)I wonder if anyone can advise me. My daughter has decided to have her first baby (and my first grandchild) at home. I have tried to avoid tabloid horror stories, but have looked at medical research, notably the NHS one from 2011. Among other things, it says that 45% of first time mothers who have elected for a home birth end up in hospital, and the mortality rate among babies is twice that of hospital births. She lives in London and is being monitored by a major teaching hospital which is, disregarding wait times, about 30' by ambulance.
I cannot talk to her about this, as she is very determined, and, obviously, I do not want to increase her anxiety levels with horror stories, which, rationally, I know are rare.
Have any of you experienced the birth of a first baby at home - either your own or your child's. I would really welcome some comfort.
Please no horror stories - I can find them online!
many thanks
vickymeldrew Adam Kay was a doctor, therefore he only saw the difficult deliveries, unlike midwives who see births of all shades.
I think problems can occur whether you have a home birth or a hospital birth so I think the best thing is to think positive and try not to worry. For centuries women had babies at home before all the intervention and as long as her midwife is efficient and capable then I'm sure all will go well. Particularly don't voice your worries to your daughter as she probably has considered all the alternatives and has based her decision for a home birth on what she has researched.
I had my second daughter at home, 1975, after first was induced in 1973 and I felt it was a bad experience. 22 mothers and babies in the ward. Little rest. The second time I had to change GPs to get one to agree, the midwife was one keen and it went 10 days over the date they said I was due but I knew I was not, as the first time, long cycle. On the last night I went into labour, called the midwife, who came with 2 students, and it all stopped! She gave me a sleeping pill and went but it began again. Husband, Navy officer, had seen the medical training film and said no problem, he could handle it! By the time we called the midwives back I was pushing but all was well. They were in time to catch the baby. Unlike first time, no clumsy episiotomy, happy 22 month old able to see her sister early, gran then took her off for the day to let us rest.
That second daughter, 41 years later, had my small grandson at home, her first child, birthing pool in her kitchen, happy father, lovely midwives taking photos! (more detail than I actually wanted to see) . She breast fed for ages, as I had done her. Much easier than with my first as the ward made it difficult then. In both cases home birth relaxed and better.
The data when I had that daughter showed that mothers and babies had better success rates and fewer infection rates with home births. I think it compared with Netherlands where many in 1975 were at home. In both cases we'd have been able to go to hospital if there had been complications before or during birth.
That should have read the midwife second time was not keen and I was due to be induced the day after the birth, which luckily happened in time.
From my experience as a midwife, albeit some time ago, home births can be the most relaxing experience, with a supportive midwife, in your own surroundings. I used to love doing them.
Let her plan, read, and prepare. Let her feel in control as much as possible because she will take the very best care of herself to ensure she achieves her goal of a home birth.
Hospitals take all control away and that is frightening for some.
Your DD will be regularly assessed throughout her pregnancy for the safety of a home birth. If there's any risk at all of complications, high blood pressure, slight bleeding during pregnancy or any contraindications at all, she may not even be allowed to deliver at home. But don't at this point stress her out but showing your dismay.
The qualified midwife will usually have a pupil midwife alongside to assist and given their experience, there is less risk of needing an episiotomy.
It can be a lovely experience for the whole family and no damaged beds... buy impervious mattress and pillow protectors and lots of freshly washed, soft old towels. Really!
In the 1960s I had my first baby in a general hospital,and was forced to have gas and air, although I said I didn't want it. I had 2,3and4 at home - the most wonderful experience, and the next 5 (honestly!), in a fantastic local maternity hospital, which sadly was closed 2 weeks after my youngest was born. Apart from the enforced gas and air with my first, I had very little pain relief with any of them, and not a single stitch - ever! What a lucky woman I am!
I had my son whilst an impatient at a hospital; in front of the lifts!
My youngest daughter was born in a very well known teaching hospital; I had her on my own, midwife had gone for lunch!
Sadly, I had very high risk pregnancies, or I would have jumped at the choice of home births. But of my 3 live births, none went to plan, and only my first (born in France), provided proper medical attention.
@SueDonim
vickymeldrew: Adam Kay was a doctor, therefore he only saw the difficult deliveries, unlike midwives who see births of all shades
True but the stuff he writes is pretty condescending bordering on misogynistic. Just as well he changed careers, I don't think medicine was his calling.
SallyB392
Your son was born in front of the lifts? When I was a student and had my labour and delivery rotation, we were told the staff referred to a birth outside the unit as a "drive by shooting".
agnurse it must have looked comical, a midwife telling me not to push and trying to cover me up, visitors walking past, the porter looking uncomfortable, and I was off with the fairies, grunting and pushing.
Best bit was I had no idea I was having contractions, I had been in the prenatal ward for days, wandering around the hospital. That one was forgivable, but the youngest daughters delivery wasn't, having told the midwife I wanted to push, a history of precipitave births and other complications, it was unforgivable that she left without even examining me. The result, a beautiful baby, retained placenta, haemorrhage, and 3rd degree tear!
SallyB932
That's why we were always taught, if the mother says she needs to push, YOU CHECK. Working in a small community meant that I once cared for a colleague while she was in labour. At one point she said to me, "You need to call the doctor". I said, "I have to check you first". She looked me right in the eye and said, "Agnurse, CALL HIM." I did. Good thing I did, too, as he almost missed the baby!
Depends on hospital and home support. When I had mine, no home support and hospital was worse (lately been in there and picked up horrible virus - sanitary it is not). Luckily was earning enough and went private. Know someone who had all of hers at home. She loved it. Had all the boxes ticked for above.
I had a simple first birth in a nursing hone but would have had far more support at home. There was only one midwife and 4 babies born within 15 minutes. It was very much d-I-y.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I felt just like you when my daughter told me she intended to have her first baby at home- terrified.
Well I needn't have worried! First and then second babies born at home! Perfect births, no drugs, no stitches. Both calm, lovely babies.
She then trained to be a breast feeding counselor and a doula. She was with a friend supporting her through a home breech birth no problems.
D in law had happy straight forward home delivery with help of two midwives 6 years ago. There was a back up plan if needed. Nothing could have dissuaded her - and the boy is a happy gem. Good luck to her - and you.
i am sure your daughter is well prepared to have a home birth.have you talked to her about preparations.?..2011 is different from 2020...and you should not believe all that you read especially on the internet. plenty of scaremongers....midwife will be there too
Daughter's first baby supposed to be born at home. They insisted she had to go into hospital and she had a terrible time there - agency midwife who did nothing but sit in the corner and resulted in emergency C-section.
Stuck to her guns and had a wonderful (water) home birth second time around, with two midwives in attendance.
Daughter-in-law decided to have a home birth and again had wonderful support from two midwives in attendance.
Would definitely recommend, because you get much better care at home and are in a relaxed environment.
I had my first child, DD30 at a University Hospital. I had a terrible experience. I opted to have my DS21 at home. The hospital was a good 30 mins away, but I was checked very regularly to see if there would be no complications. The whole experience was wonderful. I felt so relaxed and in control, so unlike my experience in hospital. I had 3 midwives with me (one had never experienced a home birth). Thoroughly recommend it.
I had two of my Sons at home, with the first birth I had a retained placenta and had to go to hospital. It is a natural thing to do. Your Daughter's birth may well be much easier at home due to being more relaxed and there are fewer strange bugs at home. Chill, if assistance was needed I'm sure it would be there xx
Congratulations on your coming first GC! I have no home birth stories to share w/ you, had DD in the hospital and she had her kids in a hospital, also. But just want to suggest, please ignore the horror stories, stop reading the medical info (I'm sure DD has done her own research, etc.), trust DD and her doctor/midwife, and look forward to being a first time GM!
One of my DiLs has had home births with both babies. Both were very good experiences.
An ambulance was sent to the second delivery, as a precaution, because when her waters broke, my son spotted meconium, but fortunately it wasn't needed, and the home delivery continued as planned. (Rural village where wait times for an ambulance can be long).
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