Contact denied with GD

It wouldn't be the first time a parent with custody makes access difficult/impossible, despite agreeing to it.

My kids have both at different times outright refused to come to the phone to say hi to Nan (who we are all close to)

The fact is that during lockdown there may be more people calling or wanting facetime than usual. And once kids start to hate it, forcing it doesnt help.

It does sound like he is trying but its a no go. He is not refusing is he, he is agreeing then it doesnt work out and happen!

It is hard for young kids to engage via video call- their attention span is 2 mim max and then they get bored.

How often and how long are the videochats?

"If"

Of your post focused on how to keep in contact. Or asked for alternative suggestions to make... that would paint you as more reasonable, and therefore less likely to cause the little family stress, than someone whose first instinct is to go back to court!

The fact that he is agreeing to calls which then aren't happening strongly suggests it is the child refusing.

Children are all reacting differently to lockdown and some are NOT revelling in being plonked on front of facetime to "perform" at every relative that calls.

All adults are coping differently too.

You do not know. You just dont. Nobody is fully themselves right now but what is for certain is you assuming the worst and adding pressure to a family at this awful time probably wont endear your GD to you long term

These are not normal times.
You know nothing of how they are/arent coping at the moment but are insisting on only assuming the worst, which contradicts your claims of how supportive a person you are

Perhaps GD is not coping well with lockdown and is refusing to speak to you against his efforts.

You just dont know.

He owes his daughter contact with her maternal family which the court has agreed to. It’s about control with him we are only asking for telephone contact during this uncertain time which he’s denying his daughter of, she has needs also!

The "cost" of court is not just the financial expense. Its also the mental strain you put on you GDs primary carer every time you do back.

That is not good for your GD. She needs him and if he is stressed she is stressed.

It's not just expensive for you. It's expensive for him, too. It's also going to cause a disruption in the family - which your GD will sense.

I think you need to consider whether this is truly in her best interest. He doesn't owe you contact in exchange for your kindness.

Going to court needn’t be expensive if you represent yourself! I think I may of
Made a mistake posting here for support!

Yes dad is a single parent but chops and changes into different relationships constantly. We have supported him from the start emotionally and financially, we have gone above and beyond, we have a special bond with our granddaughter which is currently being denied. We have been trying to FaceTime since Friday which he agreed to.... again he agreed to do so today, we just want to keep the contact going during these uncertain times. I cannot send cards in the post because he will not provide his address to us.

Consider that your GD and her father are going through a difficult time right now. It's possible her father isn't working. Going to court is expensive. That could well be food coming out of your GD's mouth. I think you need to consider what's really in the best interests of your GD.

Thank you for responding. I accept that contact / visits can’t happen at the minute which he will be revelling in and using to his advantage but calls and face are also being denied.

As a total outsider who knows nothing of what has gone before, it seems to me that now is not the time to threaten with further court action. I am presuming that Dad is now functioning as a single parent during these difficult times. Perhaps the best thing to do is to keep your distance but offer any support or help you can give and keep up contact with your GD by sending cards and gifts by post?

Even many parents who have non resident contact visits are putting it on hold right now so do you not think that putting things on hold during lockdown might actually be the right thing to do in the circumstances?

If you've been to court once, I would do it again. Obviously, you can't have the actual visitation now, but he should still be following through with the facetime / phonecalls.

It must be so distressing for you to have no contact, particularly at this time, especially after what you went through with your daughter.

I'm no expert, but I would keep a log of the contacts you try to make. Calls that are missed. When you actually do speak to him / get messages from him with booked times for calls and any excuses he makes.