Step grand parenting help please

Just enjoy your granddaughter as you would enjoy a child who wants love. I have two step grandchildren who I’ve known since babies and they are of an age where they put two and two together by being informed by their mum that their biological nan died. You cannot change genetics but you can love them. I have biological grandchildren and they will always be that and I love them. One day my step grandchildren might turn around and say I’m not really their grandma but hopefully that doesn’t happen to me.

My mother in law had only my husband who always said that as good as she was she was a strict mum. When we met she was delighted and asked to meet my children who were three and six. She started asking if she could take them out to town for lunch. I had no objection and she asked to have them at her flat so she could see them. My husband could not believe how his mother showed this softer side too her nature. We had a wonderful relationship and my son and daughter loved their new grannie. My mother loved them both very much but had other grandchildren so didn't devote as of her time too them. Take it slow don't be anxious it will work out. My daughter had a baby girl and she named her after both her grannies.

Time. You'll get there.

KarenR so including the pregnancy your grandson has been part of your family for a year now, the little girl only for a couple of months. That must make a difference as you haven't had so long to get used to the idea, plus a two year old is very much their own little person already.
Your son is happy with his girlfriend and you describe her as lovely. Relax and just enjoy this unexpected addition to your family, she sounds delightful!
Sometimes love is a slow burn x

KarenR you seem to be overwhelmed by your new grandson, I think you need to relax a little and just enjoy the company of your granddaughter as well. Don't over think things and try not to attach labels, don't think of the little girl as a 'step'. Of course it's possible to love a child who has no genetic connection to you.

It’s perfectly natural. Your grandchild will always be your grandchild. You will see him grow, become and man and be apart of the milestones in his life.

There is no promise of that with a step family. If they argued tonight you may never see the child again.
He has no rights to fight for visitation if there is a fall out.
So it may be smart to protect yourself a little. Of course you can treat them the same etc

@V3ra
My son and his girlfriend remained friends and we’ve seen the little girl since she was about 8 months old but they were just friends until a couple of months ago when they became a couple again.

maybe you prefer boys. or babies. lots of women do, but rarely admit/ recognise it. are you sure it's the genetic thing.
as long as you don't shew any favouratism, i think you just have to accept your feelings are what they are.
as long as they do not adversely affect the little girl.
good luck.

As well two teenage grandsons we are now the proud grandparents of a grandson who was officially adopted last year after DD2 had seven miscarriages. He is a real bundle of joy and a joker and a very much loved and part of the family. And will be two in May. As an added bonus we had our first granddaughter a year ago who is another strong personality. They are interested in video pictures of each other But are yet to meet as our Easter gathering was cancelled. Our adopted GS is as much beloved as all of our grandchildren. Don’t try to force it and hopefully you’ll feel the same before too long. Does the little girl have her paternal grandparents in her life and that may make her feel special. Complicated families are becoming more and more common and if all else fails you have to fake it til you make it,

The genetic connection is all in your mind. A step grandchild is a grandchild, just like any other.

There is, though, a special love for the first grandchild. It's such a thrill to be a first time granny. I'd never let that show and try to give them all equal time and attention.

Has the little girl been in your lives since she was a baby, or have your son and her mum only just got back together so she is she a more recent addition to your family?