Gransnet forums


4 grandchildren

(15 Posts)
sausagedoggy Mon 22-Jun-20 12:36:07

Hi, has anyone felt that they favour one grandchild over the others?

I feel guilty for even writing this but I feel totally differently towards the first born one than I do about the other three.

He is very, very conversant at 6, its like talking to another adult and he's such fun to play with and is interested in everything.

The others are 4,2 and 1 and obviously cannot talk like him.

Im hoping I can love them all equally in time but I just feel so bad about it.

PinkCakes Mon 22-Jun-20 13:58:10

I think many grandparents would say the same thing. My 1st GC is extra special, because she's very much like my son her father. The other GC (son's 2nd child) is different. I love them both dearly, but the 1st born is my favourite.

midgey Mon 22-Jun-20 14:23:20

It’s only a problem if you treat them differently and let them know. One of my children was a favourite with some in laws, the other was actively ignored, I would hope nobody would do that these days.

ninathenana Mon 22-Jun-20 14:58:46

The youngest GS is special as we nearly lost him. He had two open heart surgeries before he was 5mths. He's always been a "cuddly" child. Where as the older one is very mature for 11.

PinkCakes Mon 22-Jun-20 16:24:16

I should add that I don't treat my 2 GC differently. I'd never buy one something without the other - it was the eldest's birthday last Saturday, snd so that the little one didn't feel left out, I bought her a small gift, too.

AGAA4 Mon 22-Jun-20 16:41:38

I have 6 grandchildren and I love each one for who they are.

They all have very different personalities. One is funny, one is very kind eg. They are all very lovable.

Maggiemaybe Mon 22-Jun-20 16:51:16

has anyone felt that they favour one grandchild over the others?

Absolutely not, and I can’t imagine ever doing so. My five all have their different personalities, and lovable and not-so-lovable traits, but I couldn’t love any of them more.

janeainsworth Mon 22-Jun-20 16:55:06

Maggie I agree. My 6 GC are equally loved and equally precious.

SueDonim Mon 22-Jun-20 18:19:44

Absolutely not! I’ve never had a favourite out of my four children, why would I have a favourite GC? I see a lot more of one of the GC because they live closer than the others but that doesn’t make her my favourite. They’re all little individuals and I love seeing how different and also how alike they are.

Katyj Mon 22-Jun-20 18:55:28

No sorry can’t understand that i love and like my three the same ,as i
do my two sons . They each have their own unique personalities. They are all very special .

geekesse Mon 22-Jun-20 19:03:30

I love each of my grandchildren quite differently because they are quite different people - different ages, temperaments, genders, circumstances. But I honestly can’t say I love any one more than the others. I love each one of them completely, full stop.

mumofmadboys Mon 22-Jun-20 19:09:09

Sausagedoggy I think you are being very honest to admit it to yourself and on here. You cannot help your feelings and it is no good feeling bad about it. It is important that you are seen to treat them all the same and they are not aware you prefer one of them. It is easier to have a relationship with children once you can have conversations so you may find the discrepancy lessens over time.

sausagedoggy Mon 22-Jun-20 19:28:25

I do treat them all the same, its just I have an amazing connection with the first born one.

sausagedoggy Mon 22-Jun-20 19:29:05

thank you mumofmadboys.

Grandmabatty Mon 22-Jun-20 19:49:52

I was that grandchild. I was so spoiled by my father's mum until my brother was born. Then I was dropped almost totally. My parents could see it and were furious. It definitely affected the relationship I had with those grandparents as they were very critical to me but doted on my brother. As long as you treat them equally so they don't know how you feel.