Moved house to help with GC care

My daughter and son both livev within 30 minutes of us. However, my hubby wouldn't move if they weren't. My daughter only ever rings when she needs something but our son rings just for a chat. He's more considerate . I wouldn't move to be closer just to be used as a childminder regardless of how much I love my family. We do help out a lot but we are both in our 60s , not in the best of health and want to spend our time left having fun with our many friends not looking after little ones all day. Been there.. done that! Loved it but no desire to do it now other than once or twice a week during the school holidays and after school. But that's right for us.

Vielen Dank, silverlining48!

Good luck to you grannymosh, you sound very happy, and am glad, despite the health problems you have had that you are now recovered, certainly the health system there is very good. Enjoy it all. Alles gut.

Songstress60, living near to, or with, family, or moving to be near them, does not mean one's own life ends. I have made friends here, and a life of my own. As for being unpaid childcare...bring it on! My son and daughter-in-law have been fortunate enough to have au pairs, but the last one went back home just before lockdown, so I have been doing a great deal of housework and childcare since then. I've never worked so hard in my life, but then, I've never had so much fun either! My talent for silly voices and acting out stories has developed, but also inspired my granddaughters to use their imaginations even more. I've always been a keen crafter, so they have benefited from that too. The 4-year-old made her daddy a very advanced Father's Day card with minimal help from me. Having been medically retired at the age of 55, my self-esteem had suffered considerably due to all the things I could no longer do. When my granddaughters throw their arms around my neck or seize my face between their soft little hands, and whisper "Oh, Granny, I DO love you!" I feel 10 feet tall and able to conquer the world for them! Since living here, I have had, and beaten, breast cancer and sepsis, and my care was exemplary. I loathe being visited when ill, and I was very ill indeed when I had sepsis, but it was good to know my family was handy to bring me clean clothes, ginger biscuits (for the nausea) and to keep my friends informed when I wasn't able to. I've loved every minute so far, and plan to love the next 50 years, all being well!

All my UK friends said I would be making a huge mistake to emigrate abroad , " You will just be an unpaid child- minder, you will miss England etc etc" but I followed my gut feeling and took the plunge when I retired. Now I live a 10 minute walk away from my daughter, son- in -law and grandchildren and help out when required which is not as often as I would like now that now the kiddies go to school! I enjoyed settling into a beautiful country with friendly people. I joined various activities and made new friend and found some volunteer work. It probably took me about a year to really understand the mindset here ( different values and priorities) . All in all it was quite an undertaking but certainly worth the effort.

I moved to be closer to my DD 5 years ago, I was widowed 7 years ago. I had one DGS who I saw infrequently as we lived 70 miles apart.

My DM lives 300 miles away, she is 91, I moved 250 miles from DM when my DD was 9 years old, she's 40 this year

Since moving to Devon I now have another DGS, I see my family most weeks. I visit DM twice/three times a year but we speak daily.

Best move I made to be nearer DD as I may need care when I am older, I've made lots of friends, live in a lovely Town on the edge of Dartmoor but within easy reach of the coast

I would move in a heartbeat to be close to my Daughter and Grandchildren, she would really appreciate the help as she has to rely on her MiL who is a carer and is still working full time. I don’t have any other close family left locally so have no ties to my current location.
My problem is that my DH will not entertain the idea of relocating as he has friends he sees socially a couple of evenings a week and he has two sisters and nieces and nephews living locally.
Whilst we all get really well these are not the people that will look after us in our old age, that will fall to my daughter I suspect.
My advice to you would be to go, and have family close at hand should you need them.

Last year we moved to be near our daughter and son-in-law and our new grandson. When she goes back to work I will be looking after him two days a week. We now live about half an hour from them rather than an hour and a half. We have exchanged one lovely rural area for another lovely rural area in a large village with many amenities. Pubs, village shop, fish and chip shop, and quick and easy bus route to our nearest city. We took the opportunity to change the type of house we have and instead of our country cottage with a huge garden we have a spacious four bedroomed modern house with a small garden. It is an absolute joy to be able to see them so regularly (apart from the lockdown period obviously). We still live our own lives with our own hobbies, but it has been wholly positive. Our neighbours are lovely too. I feel much more secure here as our life is simplified, but with family support working both ways! It has worked out amazingly well - our first year's anniversary of the move is later this month and it feels as though we've always lived here. We're very fortunate.

My DD moved nearer to me when her son was born. So I have spent over 12 years looking after my GS and it has been wonderful seeing him grow up and being able to spend more time with him than I ever could with my own children because I had to work. I am sure you will have many wonderful years to come and they will be some of the happiest you'll have ever known. This is my experience.

We did the opposite and moved away from our AC and GC. I did not wish to become a convenient childminder, and I felt they needed to be more independent. It has worked for all of us. We see them when they visit us, we don't visit them as we can't be doing with long motorway trips now. It hasn't affected our relationships with our GC who really look forward to coming to us, and as we're not chatting frequently there is always plenty to talk about and news to catch up on. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I moved away from my DCs. I found that my only purpose was to render assistance to them such as child minding house cleaning etc. I realised that the only conversation they had with me was what time drop off/pick up or when I was to arrive at their houses.
I am a grandmother not a childminder or a domestic.

We're hoping to do the same for my (single) daughter who is intending to adopt, not to provide regular care but to be there as a spare pair of hands when required. It may develop into something else over time, but in the meantime it has given us the impetus to sell the house which is much too large for us in any case.

We moved 8 years ago to be closer to our daughter and grandson, at their suggestion. We had lived in the same place, though different houses, for 40 years. A difficult decision but turned out to be the best thing we ever did. A few years ago son and wife also moved here and now have their own child. Life is good. We all have our won lives but mutual support is always at hand.

I would love to move to be near my GC. However which one would I chose? One lives in the north of UK and the other on the south coast. I couldn't afford a property in either area. Often joke with DIL in south I could maybe manage to buy a garage!

Nanaplenty I would say "go for it", there is everything g tobe gained, "what goes around comes around" and all that.
Songstress 60, families help each other, I'm sure most of us "used" our families for childcare when they were little. We lived abroad when our 3 were little and many times I had to leave our kids with my MIL and SIL as I had to rush out on a call out. She also never accepted money but we also helped her alot when needed so none felt indebted to the other.

I envy those who it has worked. Do.bear in mind that you can move and uproot your life then your children might relocate. Ours is talking of moving countries after we moved here. Only covid is stopping them. It will.break my heart as I'm not well enough to travel.

Hooray for families ! If we're fortunate enough to have them then get close enough (geographically) to enjoy them. Those darling babies all grow into grumpy teenagers (even though they will still appreciate you really from behind the scowls, the greasy locks and pimply faces !). Enjoy them while you may.

We moved three years ago from the Midlands to the South. I have no regrets whatsoever. I see my daughter and her family regularly, albeit through glass at the moment, but having family close is wonderful and making an effort to meet new people and make new friends has been a very positive experience for us both. Good luck!

When we moved to Harrogate 25 years ago we left our DD's in Aberdeen (I had a flat there for them to live in). Within 2 years they had both found jobs down here, which has made life so much easier all round. Have to admit there was no thoughts of GC then, but they have no regrets coming here!

I cannot understand why people move to be near their grandchildren. You have a life of your own and to me some families use their older relatives for free childcare.

I moved house 15 years ago today to be nearer my daughter because I had been very ill and there was the possibility I may require some help in the near future. My elders granddaughter was 18 months old at the time. I moved from a small town in central Scotland further north to a city on the coast. Its the best thing I ever did. I now have 3 granddaughters 16 13 and 10. I live 3 miles from them, nearer the sea. I have a little bungalow no garden to care for but a large communal area around the 7 houses that I share it with. At 79 my health is better now than its been for years, I have 2 small West highland terriers and shops in walking distance as well as the ,North Sea. Moving here was definitely beneficial to me and hopefully my family feel the same. I'm just waiting for my daughter and middle granddaughter to come for a chat and a cup of tea. What more could I want or need. I feel very fortunate every day.

I’m glad to hear your positive messages as I want to move to another county to be near my daughter and grandchildren - as it’s more expensive there it will involve a downsize so I feel just a little apprehensive. Sound like there’s a lot to be gained from it.

So lovely to have a positive post on this subject.
May you and your family have a continuing happy and peaceful , fun life !

A move to a different non English speaking country is very brave GrannyMosh. Glad its going so well.

I should add, I am no longer the 'old witch', and have a very close and loving relationship with all 3 children!