Babysitting a 15 month old boy driving me to distraction please help!

Cher..I do feel for you. Is it fair to you that you take care of your Grandson right now? You have Fibromyalgia & COPD...you must also be in pain as well as chronic fatigue. Your patience won't be the same. You don't say whose idea it was for you to look after your Grandson, how many days you have him in the week or how many hours in a day? I think you need to prioritise and look after you first. Otherwise you are going to knock yourself backwards with your health. I think you need to reassess how often you take care of your Grandson with your daughter...she should understand your situation.

As far as I am concerned this is normal behaviour for a boy of 15 months. You can not expect a child under three to understand that they should sit quietly.
If you are not physically capable of looking after the child then other arrangements should be made.

never childproofed a room

Did you never move anything breakable up to a higher shelf or put locks or those child proof door catches on doors eg medicine cabinets?

Just a word of warning to the OP if she is still on here: those childproof door catches that you have to press down are not necessarily a deterrent to all toddlers, as my very determined DGS worked out how to get past them. The same DGS who worked out how to dismantle his playpen.
He wants to be an engineer.

Why has this behaviour been allowed to escalate? Does he do this same thing at home, or does he act up at your place because his home is a "prison"? Have you told his parents that you will not be able to keep him any longer, if things remain the same, not because you are not in perfect health, but because there is damage being done, not just general naughtiness? Some of us have never, ever, childproofed a room, despite having naughty children and grandchildren. Discipline includes the word "No!", not a 'naughty chair' or spankings.

My sister had fibromyalgia and found it difficult to cope with her grandson on her bad days and he was a quite a peace full little boy. He had eating problems too but she found it was easier to give him what he would eat rather than try and encourage better eating habits (She considered it a thing his mum had let him do so let his mum change the habits) Eating was always in his high chair in the kitchen (Not one for letting him wander around while eating)
She learned to pick her battles, spend a lot of time if not in the garden then at least with the back door so he could go in and out. Hope thins settle down for you as he gets older

The thing is that many have missed is that your fibromyalgia means that some days are much more of a struggle for you than others and having a 15 month old hyperactive toddler will not be easy.
Put everything away that you don't want him to touch - right out of his sight in a cupboard - perhaps ask your daughter to do this with you. If there are any rooms (such as your bedroom ) that you would rather he didn't go into, see if you can either fit a bolt to the door or fitting a gate latch with a hook isn't difficult. Cupboards - tie the handles together - I know you can buy plastic cupboard locks cheaply , but if my nephew could work out how they work within 15 minutes, I'm sure your grandson will be able to.
Only give him healthy food - he won't starve if he refuses to eat apples etc the first few times but once he realises that that is all that is on offer, he'll eat it!
Only give him a drink if sitting in a highchair. If nothing else it will at least give you a chance to sit down with a cuppa yourself!
If you can take him outside, do so- he'll be quite happy with a soft ball to kick or throw and run up and down - even get him to jump up and down if you have to!
Then you can go back inside and have a quiet time where you can sit down with a book with him or even have lunch.
Maybe buy one of "Supernanny" Jo Frosts books for ideas.

I agree with @GagaJo and @Calistemon, better that he shouldn't eat the rubbish, something in them may even be what is making him ultra active. If you find something else that he likes maybe you can wean him off them? It would be great if you could find something relatively healthy that he really likes. We know a child who had literally nothing but cucumber, ham and apple juice when she was a toddler, but gradually she ate more fruit and other nutritious foods and her health did not suffer.
Or simply don't offer any of the rubbish - he'd be awful for a while but will eventually eat something else when he's really hungry.
I sympathise with you about the running around and so on, one of my boys was like that. The idea of childproofing a space in your house sounds good and would limit the mess to one room. We only ever ate at the kitchen table, with a hard floor underneath which made life much easier.

Oh dear . he is not far off he terrible twos.

I used to find that a very clear " that is really" naughty followed by a period of time on the "naughty step - one minute for every year of their age ( a bit longer if they are older or have been particularly naughty. If he was older I would get him to pick up the mess and put it in a waste bin. I used a kitchen timer and made sure we did something fun afterwards - a trip to the park, or a game in the garden or a game of snap, etc. Be firm but do not shout. Reward good behaviour - good colouring, etc. Take care and good luck.

Get him to do 'tidy up' games. A little sponge, a duster and dust pan and brush. Maybe a reward at the end. He may not do a perfect job (!), but he may enjoy it and you will feel he's learning good habits. How about a little watering can to water every plant in the garden? That should use up some time. Most children love water play. My GC spent ages recently making water handprints on paving slabs and patio window, then soaking some old rags and learning how to squeeze them out. NB: have a change of clothes to hand. Old cardboard boxes or a box of ribbons are another time waster - I mean useful/cheap play activity! At this age, as you are finding, anything that's not a toy is far more interesting. I always had a box of 'clutter' for the kids to use their imagination. Perhaps a drawer for him to sort out thing like socks....

I understand exactly where you are coming from but you are probably experiencing a normal little boy who is still in the process of learning his boundaries. The difference between him and your daughter is that you are physically compromised and 20 years older. It makes such a difference.
I found the same with my grandson and it wasn't I couldn't cope per se, I just found that the long days were crippling. I would have him for one day from 8 to 6.30, have a day off and then do the same again. I wasn't really recovering between bouts so it was really stressful. Initially, I had to reduce to one day a week but as he got bigger and was ASD, the lockdown came and I have taken the opportunity to say to my children that I love having him but cannot do long days anymore. You have to do something to resolve this or you will end up resentful.

I had 2 boys and now a granddaughter. All extremely active. It is hard work and I found it exhausting. They need constant stimulation. I used to take them out to museums, or walks, anything to burn off some energy. Right from very small.

Take him out and tire him running about in a park. Could be you need to admit defeat and say he is to much for you with your health issues.

Don't shout but use a firm voice. That my hve the same effect as shouting. Say "No" firmly.

Sounds like perfectly normal 15 month old behaviour! Exploring his world with plenty of energy (and a trail of mess). This is NOT naughty behaviour (developmentally at 15 month old it is not possible) he is just testing and learning about his world and boundaries. Also the ‘naughty chair’ is not recommended at this age. Childproofing and a routine is what is needed. I am actually a bit concerned that at 15months old you are considering a child to be naughty or bad.....

Definitely no fruit juice - too much sugar and avoided other sugary or salty foods. As others said no food except in high chair. He is a baby and doesn’t have the ability to communicate or understand what is safe or acceptable. A nursery would be good for him.

Cher69, it sounds like you really don't have the energy or desire to look after him for long periods, so tell his parents and make the visits shorter.

A little trip out is often much easier than staying indoors with a toddler.

Take the food outside too, on the trip or in the garden. The same with drinks (or put him in on a washable surface to have them).

Use a baby gate to keep him in one small area of the house where you can see and supervise him.

He likes throwing things - so play lots of throwing games with small soft toys or throw bean bags.

If all else fails, sit under a fluffy blanket with him, put cartoons on the telly - and pretend to doze for half an hour (worked like a charm with my granddaughter)!

I would read a book to get up to date on what a 15 month old does and what to do to take care of your gc.

It is not an easy age, even for younger people.

Once babies start to walk, they are tornados full of energy

Sorry, just read your post and I am glad that you are both finding a solution.

Sorry, some typos, hope you get the gist.
(I'm tired without looking after a toddler)

Yes, definitely a put him in a high chair when eating anything and you can buy a length of that pvc coated table covering to put underneath. It's also good as a smooth surface for cars, toys etc instead of carpet.

A cup with a spout is good and give him water only if he drinks anything when not in the high chair. If you want him to have juice then put him in the high chair. You could give him a selection of healthy finger foods and yes, much may land on the floor! But some may end up in his mouth.

Plenty of activities for little fingers and one of those trucks to push with bricks in it instead of pushing a chair around. A sit and ride toy, soft balls to throw outside to develop his skills and let him throwing balls is fine outside but throwing toys inside is not.

He just sounds like a normal, busy toddler to me but they are hard work and perhaps you need to reduce the hours you spend caring for him as your energy levels are not high, obviously and you need to take care of yourself too.

Sounds like an excellent plan Cher69 Your daughter is lucky to have you!

My daughter is going to see a nursery this week to see if he can do 2 days there. I know that's what he needs now. He loves other children and plays nicely with them. It is true that he needs stimulation and nursery would give him that. I have three other grandchildren all boys ages 1 to 4 and they are all different. I have looked after all of them at various stages but none of them have the energy this little one has and the others have been easy to manage. A simple " No thank you" or "That's naughty" or " that's not kind" have been enough. I genuinely think after reading all the posts that it's his diet that is the underlying cause of this. Followed by his routine being changed since lockdown. Also he has got to get to know me again 3 months in a babies life is a long time. I feel confident now that I can turn this situation around for all of us. As a result he will be a happier more content little chap and so will his granny. Thank you all again I truly appreciate your support and encouragement.

Someone suggested you looking after him in his own home, Cher69

Is that feasible for you?

I ended up doing that with my grandson, expecially when number 2 arrived!

Oh and sippy cups. Marvellous invention. My one year old granddaughter has one. She can fling it all over the place and no liquid drops!

My older grandson was like this; a mini hurricane around the place, doing everything he wasn't supposed to.

I'm sure all the doting grannies will be outraged, but I looked after him about 3 times before I said "never again!" Too much for me.

When I say baby sit I mean 5 days some mornings some afternoons. My daughter works odd shifts so the times do change. However I am going to suggest she brings him at a set time in the morning or afternoon that way I can get a bit of a routine and some structure going on around meal times etc.