Christmas money for grown up grandkids

My six siblings all have children, we stopped buying presents for each other or the children in 1978, everyone agreed and relaxed. It was a ridiculous number of presents

I'm still trying to work out if my almost 40 year old daughter would be devastated not to receive an Advent Calendar.

It's very tricky. I've always given equal, ( as equal as can be) to all my children/grandchildren

But you have to work with how much money you have and if you're struggling, maybe just point out that money is scarce and the gifts, be they monetary or not, will be less substantial this year.

so madmother gives her AC £1000 each for christmas, that is nice but beware of the continuing expectation every year, it will be a difficult habit to break

I give my dgc £30 each in cash for christmas and birthdays. I expect I will stop when they leave home but will always be ready to step in and help out if needed. Getting a thank you is important to me, my sons in law never said thank for sent presents, so I don`t send them anything now, just a card.

That is a good idea Notagran.

As an extended family we only give gifts ? to two categories :-
In full time education or SEN . Currently 3 nieces and 1 SIL to buy for .

The money that my husband and I would have spent on each other goes to buying gifts for teenage boys in our local town. They attract the fewest donations in the annual charity collection.

I think an age limit is a good idea otherwise it gets out of control. We have 21 as an age for extended family. More is spent on GC now - still very young. And still get DC gifts but ask them to make a list. DGC get a book, a gift and clothes usually.

My relations do not want for anything. I don’t give any nephews or nieces anything! Nor brothers or sisters. In their Christmas cards I write which charity we have donated to this year. My children get £25 as do their children. Usually small “bits” like socks just to unwrap. The whole Christmas is just far far too comercialised.

i'm a senior on a fixed income and I'm wondering if 18 would be a good age to stop giving Chiristmas money to my Greatl Nieces and Great Nephews? I originaly was giving Money gifts to 5 Great Nieces, 8 Great Nephews and 2 Great Great Nephews. I already cut out giving Christmas money to 6 of the Great Nephews and 1 Great Niece because they are over 18. 2 of the Great Nieces and 1 of the Great Nephews are 16 year old triplets. They have a younger brother that is 9 years old. I was thinking about when the Triplets turn 18, if I shoild cut out giving them Christmas money, but continue to still give Christmas money to their younger brother until he turns 18? Any help with this question will be appreciated.

Have a cut off age is the best way. If all the family agree it makes all the birthday/christmas present hunting hassle go away. We stop at 18. I only have to buy two presents!

Lesley 60 my DH and I have decided to give our 6 grandchildren a little wrapped up Christmas present this year it’ll work out cheaper in the long run than giving them money which costs us a sma fortune. Personally I think we can buy something interesting of good quality and I find it more satisfying in giving these little tokenistic items to unwrap on the day

Yes, definitely stop giving them money! As working adults they're no doubt getting more income than you now anyway. I stopped buying gifts for birthdays and Christmas when the GC reached 18. My AC had an idea one year to buy either from a charity shop or a Pound Shop for all the adults in their lists. Most of the charity shop purchases have been really great gifts and we have had many a giggle at the Pound Shop buys.

chocolatepudding

Just read your comments. That does sound most unfair. Intrigued as to why. Was your DH earning a lot more money than his brother, was younger brother the favourite? And she had to run it past him to give extra for the 18th birthday?

?

We do a secret Santa for the adults in the family which means just one big present to buy, and then small presents for the children, but as this year we almost certainly won’t all be together I’m not sure what we’ll do.

I'm in the same boat. I haven't talked to my kids about it but must. Not sure what I'm going too.

Once first nephew was working (living at home) he had a lot more disposable income than me, so I gave up on presents. I did however promise something nice once he started living independently. I guess the same is true of grandchildren.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

We now decorate a small box per family and fill it with treats for each of them, a bottle of wine, nuts, chocolate etc. We buy them a bit at a time when doing our usual shop.

We buy the under 18's gifts (asking their Mums what they want). We did explain to everyone that we had decided to do it in this way, and that we didn't expect gifts from them. It works!

This year, because most of us are broke, the whole family has agreed to either gifts from charity shops or home-made. That includes me, my 2 sons and partners, 3 grandchildren, my niece, her husband and 2 kids, and my mum and dad. Nothing over £5.

Not Grandchildren but nieces and Nephews and now great Nieces and Nephews. I said I would stop Birthday and Christmas gifts at age 21. But feel mean giving some of them gifts and not their older siblings.

The grown up gc really don't need pressies and probably won't care less.

I am amazed how generous you all are! my story is a little different and I have posted this before on similar threads - as a DIL not a grandmother.

My MIL had 2 sons, my DH is the elder. MIL was a widow and she would give us both a small gift and a cheque for £20 for Christmas and birthdays, and a similar arrangement for our DD. Thank you very much Mum.

After several years for her 18th birthday DD received a cheque for £1000! Wow thank you very much Mum!

A few weeks later MIL admitted to my DH that she normally gave that amount to DS2 for his birthday and Christmas and she had checked with him that he was happy for her to give it to her GD as it was her 18th. He had agreed to this.

In total these payments went on for 20 years - I am sure you can all do the sums.

Nannan, I enjoy watching the family treating themselves, I don’t need the money and I can’t take it with me.

Jaxie, we aren’t particularly wealthy, more comfortable. We wouldn’t give the money if we couldn’t afford, but we are pensioners and fortunate to have a pretty reasonable pension which is more than enough for our needs. And I would rather give the family money now and I can see them enjoy spending it.

I come from a family were once you reached 16 Christmas gifts stopped as it was the only gift you ever got I decided I would break the cycle and I have so budget of £10 to DH grand children all grown up with children of there own. Found great gift for them on Amazon they have retro sweet hampers under £10.
To get photos of adults, all of them parents , enjoying lollipops, blackjacks,ect after there kids gone to bed priceless

There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling the family that gifts of money are a thing of the past, now that you have retired.

It is important that you discuss present giving with them. My mother suddenly stopped giving presents and gave some little thing instead.

Frankly, I would have preferred her to be honest and not suddenly to start giving useless things like an Advent calender and a string of fairy lights that neither DH or I wanted when we were in our early fifties.

I think the new rules should be for them all, not only the adult grandchildren. Children, who are children, get so much. It will do them no harm to realise that you have less to live on right now.