My Bonus (step) Daughter and her husband have 4 children. The oldest 2 are twin 11 year old girls, and have mild epilepsy, possibly mild autism, possibly ADD. The other girl is 7 and the boy is 6. My husband has spent an incredible amount of money and time remodeling their mobile home. It was VERY NICE! They and the kids have trashed it. Marker on the walls, trash, clothes, toys everywhere. It smells like urine in the house. They wet the beds and it’s not washed right away. We rarely go there and her mom (my husband’s ex) is not allowed to go there. It breaks my heart. The mom is a nurse and the dad is going back to college. They know better. My husband recently remodeled the 2 bathrooms and they are already being trashed. We realize this is a parenting issue but we’re not sure how to approach it with them without being “judgmental”. Their vehicles are full of trash also. The other issue is discipline. The mom will call my husband and expect him to talk to her children and basically threaten to come over and spank them. Today she called and wanted us to watch two of them because all four of them were fighting and not listening to her. She expects my husband to be the “bad guy” and that’s not fair to him. Grandparents should be fun, not disciplinarians when the kids don’t listen to mom & dad. How can we approach this respectfully? My husband and I have only been together a few years and just got married this year, so I don’t want to step on toes. Aside from this, the daughter and I have a great relationship!
Passports not in the drawer I always keep them in. Turning the place upside down.