Are they insensitive?

My GD was besotted by Peppa Pig, so I sweated blood over knitting her a jumper with Peppa on. I was so busy making sure that the picture was turning out correctly that I forgot to start shaping the armholes, and had to unravel half the motif again. I don’t often swear but.......!
By the time I had finished knitting it, and posted it (quite expensively) to Australia, Peppa was consigned to history, and Frozen was her latest love!
DD persuaded her to put it on for ‘a photo for Grandma’ but I doubt that it was ever worn again. Was I upset? Not at all. It will be passed on to a friend’s child, or a charity shop. Someone else’s child will enjoy it, and knitting it kept me out of mischief for a while.
I hope that she will enjoy the knitted monkey which is on its way to her.

Ocean mama. Why would you wash new clothes?

Made many outfits for my GD and knitted jumpers each with a Tele Tubbie (favourites at the time) also ponies, snowmen, whatever the 'in' subject of the time. These all has to be sent overseas, incurring more expense, and I have no photos of her wearing ANYTHING I made!! Always received thank you letters so just assumed they were OK!! Didn't consider being upset about it!

I spent a lot last birthday for my 11year old gs to get him a rugby type tracksuit. He said it looked like pyjamas and his dad sent it back for a refund. I was a bit hurt but I hadn't thought it through as I had bought the same for the toddlers and they loved it. 11 is more into teenage clothes.

Antonia, you sound a bit abrupt and prickly. You could be a lady who might be quite easy to upset. Just saying but please try and let things ride over you a bit, we all have so much to be anxious about just now. Be kind to yourself.

It’s so difficult as a parent to keep all the plates spinning, I think grandparents sometimes forget how hectic and busy their AC lives are especially now that both parents have to work often long hours and the small kindnesses and social niceness are forgotten in the melee. I remember my own mother being a stickler for various things which made my very busy life a bit harder and I determined to be easier going with my own children (mostly I manage it) I might be quietly a bit put out that my outfit hadn’t featured if I had put a lot of time or money into it but I would never say anything and would swiftly consign the feeling to the bin.

Maybe you could ask for a photo of your GD wearing the one you made and then maybe you could post it on your social media saying how happy you are that she's wearing this item that you made. Just a suggestion.

Antonia-try not to be upset, I’m sure it wasn’t a deliberate snub. As for valid reasons to be upset, I think People’s emotions are all over the place at the moment and it’s hard, if not impossible, to choose what to get upset about. I think you’ve had some good advice on how to broach the subject with your family

When my daughter was born, my mother, who had not knitted anything since I was small, decided to knit a jacket and leggings. It looked like it would fit an 18 month old baby when it was finished. I don't remember my daughter ever wearing it but I do remember the love and effort that went into making it.

I get that you'd like to see your gc in the outfit you made. If you are wondering, maybe you could ask how it fits. It could be it doesn't quite fit yet or it was in the wash. I think you might be reading too much into this.

Did you give the sleep suit for the birthday? When I get given clothing, or the children, they never wear it until I've had a chance to give it the first wash. Maybe this is a reason it's not been worn yet?

As an aside, I have a relative who always gets disappointed when her expectations of how people should react to gifts aren't met. It takes the shine off receiving a bit.

Ate, not are. Autocorrect is killing me

So as not to hurt - are the 'as'

My kids get plenty of gifts, hand me downs, etc.

If I had to worry what they wear when I see people - I would drive crazy coordinating who gave what so not to hurt anybody's feelings

No social media for my family for privacy and safety reasons

I would have been upset, too.

If she sent just this photo to you, and said this was her favourite thing ever, I could understand your hurt.

But she posted birthday photos on Instagram. Those photos were about her child, and a little bit her/child’s father. It’s not about anyone else.

I sincerely hope you are able to move quickly past this.

Was going to say DGS2 gets clean sleep suit each night as he drinks a lot of milk and nappies always leak a bit by morning but he is 2 ½ so didn't realise your DGD was older. DGD and DGS1 have worn PJs since almost 3. Won't even wear dressing gowns and we are in Scotland and DSiL is frugal with heating. I don't do instagram - feel too old so wouldn't understand it but all DGC get new clothes at birthdays etc so they can't wear everything in photos. Maybe your DD could send you a personal photo? Unless it didn't fit?

Yes, I would have done the same, when the opportunity arose.
I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to make sure it was put on there and then, just because it genuinely wouldn't occur to me to do it.

I think perhaps I'm a bit of a cold fish in some ways.

BlueBelle

Well I don’t know about these rather hard hearted posts but when my kids were small and got things sent to them I always tried to get a picture for the giver just seemed a nice way to say thank you
Last month I gave my friend some toys for her small grandsons after their next visit she sent me a pic of them playing with them it made my day

When mine were young I did the same as you!

Where's the harm in showing some thoughtfulness? Especially now photos are so easy.

It would have made my day too, BlueBelle

Antonia... could she be saving it, for certain occasions?

BTW, Ive made many things I think are lovely for my GC but the parents dont always feel the same way!!

If you made it as a Birthday Gift then it was insensitive and I’m sure , unintentional. But if it wasn’t a gift then I don’t think that there is a problem, maybe the one she was wearing was a Birthday Present?

Nfkdumpling how much colder are you expecting it to get it’s nearly December surely we are in winter I certainly need my feet covered ?

Antonia, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you normally wouldn’t have noticed or minded but with the virus and the strange way we are living everything is stressful and matters are magnified. I’m on my own and things that happen are suddenly a crisis. I dropped a new loo roll down the loo today and I was fuming. Try and be happy that she asked you to make it, that’s a very great compliment in itself.

She wouldn't be needing the one with feet in yet would she? Surely that one will be saved for cold weather. When it gets chill enough and she wears it more often you may well find yourself asked to make another.

I agree with others is not a big deal
A present or favour shouldn't be made / given expecting something in return (apart from a thank you, of course)

Sorry BlueBelle crossed posts.

Antonia I think you are being very unfair to FarNorth: I had exactly the same thought that she expressed. It would be more usual to refer to such a garment for a 7 year old as a 'onesie' while 'sleepsuits' are for babies. After you had gone to so much trouble with making the garment, it would have been better if your daughter had sent you a personal picture of your granddaughter wearing your special creation. But a birthday pic on Insta? Let it go.