Moving nearer children/grandchildr en

Where do you love best Peasblossom? We are both from Yorkshire and have lived in Cumbria and Northumberland but never south of York!!

Hi aonk - we’ve a way to go before we hit that age but it is exactly what we want to avoid! Even if you are not directly caring for older parents it’s a hassle being a long way away and we would want to spare them that, but have some fun with them before we reach that stage !

I suppose it depends how close you want to be and which bit of Sheffield they’re in.

Only an hour to Nottingham or Lincoln. Less to Mansfield?

I’ve unexpectedly become a bit of fan of this bit of the country!

Thanks BlueBelle for another perspective - and you are right to say the grandkids will be gone in a blink (just as the children were !) another 18 years though in reality ....I”ll be 83 by then so hope it’s not too quick haha! I would agree about ‘following ‘ the children except they keep sending properties for us to look at and are keen for us to move! We’ve always moved around a bit so they aren’t going to come back to a ‘home town’ so I guess if we want to be mutually supportive we will have to move ! Well it’s probably not a good time to decide mid pandemic ..... thanks for your reply.

Thanks Katyj - lovely positivity! I guess that’s what we are thinking really. It’s a lovely area just more expensive and busier than here but we’re reconciled to that. It’s just hard to leave this home as we have such a lovely view we won’t be able to afford there! Sounds so shallow really when I say it out loud . We would have a lot more time you are right - we’ve done a lot of day trips so we have managed to see them for walks outside during the non lockdown phases but there is no way I could do that on my own. I know there won’t be a pandemic forever but it does bring home the distance ! Thankyou x

I can never understand grandparents wanting to follow their children to be ‘ near them’ as nice as that was in the old days before the world opened up My parents were wonderful parents and grandparents but they would never dreamt of following me around ...as it happens I myself returned to my home town eventually but I think I children should be free of worrying about us and having us on the doorstep
Holidays and visits mean a lot more and your grandkids will be up and away before you blink
If you didn’t have a wonderful home in what sounds an idyllic place with a great community it would be quite different
Anyway good luck whichever way you go it sounds like you have a very nice life either way

I have a friend whose parents are 95 and 93. They still live in their large home where they brought up to three children. They have always vigorously opposed any suggestions that they should move. The mother is mentally very active but deaf and has limited mobility. The father is suffering with a form of dementia. They need a lot of help and their family members do a lot of travelling in order to look after them. They also need a cleaner and gardener. There’s no way they could move now. Not an easy situation for anyone.

Hi Mary. I would go now, if it feels a hassle now, it’ll be a lot worse later. Moving house is stressful at the best of times but much easier as a couple.
Do you like the area? You wouldn’t need to live on their doorstep, could you do some research. Think of the joy the little ones would bring, and you could still keep up with your lovely holidays, in fact you would have more time since you wouldn’t have the six hour round trip anymore. Sounds great to me.

Hi Septimia - they are in Sheffield and although there are areas that are nice we’d want to live further out and it’s so much more expensive - and busier! We know the area pretty well now so no illusions there! It is such a big step but I keep thinking that family is more important to me than anything and we will want to there eventually (no family here ) so sooner is better ! I suppose it would be easier if we were ready for a bungalow and needed to move anyway but that may be a long time off and the grandkids will have left home by then (hopefully !) I’ve a friend who moved to Australia to be near hers ....

My mum always said that too! Wise words. Too much time to think during lockdown and it makes seeing them harder so waiting is probably the best!

I understand your dilemma. We live a wee bit south of you and DS and family are a long way down the A1. We do miss them and I wish we could spend more time with them.

However, there is no way that I want to move back to the southern part of the country, although there certainly are nice places there, and places that I have happy memories of. It's too crowded, too much traffic. If I was forced to move, I'd have to search diligently for somewhere acceptable - and that wouldn't be in the town where they are anyway!

So it depends where your family are and how much you would miss the pleasures of Northumberland. Trying it for a while before committing to it permanently seems like a good idea.

My granny used to say, “ if in doubt, do nowt”. It sounds like it applies here. It doesn’t sound as though you’re ready to me, to make such a big change. I think you’ll know when it’s the right time. Probably when we’re covid free?

Hi Peasblossom - yes we do get some nice long visits (or did!) and even the odd holiday together which I guess may not happen if we lived closer! My mum also didn’t move when she could have and it did cause a lot of problems when she needed more support - so yes that is
in the thinking too! So much to consider ....

Thankyou Quizqueeen - that would be sensible! Even that seems a big step - which tells me we’re maybe not ready! It’s all the hassle really !

My children live fairly close to me and I was only thinking how nice it would be if they lived further away and came and stayed for a few days or if I could take a break with them instead of the (not that frequent) 10 minute drop by.

Having said that I’m glad I made the move closer in my sixties, made new friends and joined new stuff rather than leaving it till I needed them to be close by.

I had to travel to Devon to support elderly parents who didn’t move when they could have done.

Can you rent there and rent out your home, or do a house swap for a year to see if you really enjoy living there.