Granddaughter is disengaged from schoolwork

My son's school allow them to chose whether they show faces on camera or use the mic, if they don't want to they need to join in with typing on chat part at the very least and listen to the lesson. Occasionally his teacher asks one of those who don't have camera or mic a question via the video and they have to respond via typing. It's how they check they are still engaged. He is a lot younger. But I find he puts the camera on for the first few minutes when the teacher is t there to talk to friends then turns it off. He mutes and unmutes the mic depending on what questions he's asked etc.
The work is a little harder to get him focused. He has a meeting at 9-10 then another at 11-12 so while he's still focused I ge think to do one assignment between the two meetings. Then one afterwards while I make the dinner. That just leaves the rest for after dinner. Sometimes 3-4 it's stressful because he'd rather be on holiday s Xbox. Playing games or playing on his scooter, some days it can take all day to get him to finish it. Others hell do them in half an hour

Thanks tanith You must be feeling better. Well done both of you.

That's great tanith, thank you for coming back!
She's a very lucky girl to have such a lovely Nan.

I thought would return with some more positive news I spoke to my GD earlier she had been logged into double math lesson and had turned her camera off she was about to do some math revision via google and sounded quite upbeat and positive about things she asked if she should make a birthday present list of the art stuff she needs so she can add to her portfolio and thought her DT assessment would be on the design and description of the project she chooses. She sounds much more engaged with everything. Thanks everyone for the advice and I hope all of the difficult teens make it through this awful school year.

Needless to say, those cameras are not very flattering either

I am not a shallow person at all and I even hate the way I look in those - I am all nose, or forehead, makes your face bigger and rounder than it is...

Dont blame her, tbh

Poor girl, I understand COMPLETELY! I can't go on one of these video calls or whatever they are called. They terrify me to the point of being sick. No reason, it's just a phobia. Add to that your DG is dyslexic, and in not surprised. The school is aware of her difficulties and under normal circumstances would be providing her with support in class. Clearly this isn't possible but there's no reason why she can't try to access the claim a sees with just a little support.
Would she join the class if she couldn't be seen? If so, just angle her screen so t h at she can talk but not be seen, (put a teddy in her place or similar), & could her carer help with lessons?
Whatever the solution, her difficulties should be recognised, and she needs support not criticism

Thing is I imagine that with best will in the world the online lessons won’t be as engaging as live lessons. You need interaction in the classroom, movement etc.
I do think those who say schools are not providing proper lessons should contact the school concerned.
I’ve heard of kids saying they haven’t got lessons but who are just not turning up for them !

I took part in an online "Teams" meeting recently.
I had no desire to appear on screen so I taped a piece of paper over my laptop camera. I still showed as registered on the list of participants and I was present throughout the meeting.
Would that work for your camera shy teenagers? I don't know if Zoom works differently.

If she won’t engage with the school’s offering, you might usefully point her towards the Oak Academy lessons. She can access these and work on her own, and they cover the GCSE syllabus in many subjects. They are free for the duration of lockdown. www.thenational.academy/

With her situation I think she should qualify to be in school, I would be requesting she goes in as she needs the extra help.

It’s difficult, I have 16yr old twin boys who are adopted and one is mildly autist so has a TA. Bizarrely the one who is autistic is really motivated the other one is a nightmare in ordinary times to get up for school. He is amazing at art and really clever but will put no effort in at the best of times despite me being on it all the time. I gave them a chance to work from home - the autistic one logged on all prepared and the other I made sit in the living room so I could check regularly and I found him logged on, sound asleep! Thankfully both qualify to be at school because of circumstance and my work, so after one day I took them in. I’m 63 so it’s a slight risk to me but one I have to take. They are only doing the same classes online but at least they are at a desk and supervised by a TA. I really sympathise about your granddaughter - some are just not mature enough to be self motivated. Let’s hope the vaccine gets us out of this soon!

Must be a nightmare in current climate. One of mine, long before covid, did similar. Three sixth forms, three unis later, he got a first. And a great job followed. Some of them take longer to get there, no matter how much you try to support and encourage. Just keep the faith!
Wish I’d known it at the time. He’s why I’m grey!

Absolutely agree with cabbie. So sensible and wise. Good for you. Not many of us around.

Same here, same age and they know it all. Not sure if school is doing all it can either. Terrible for their education.
No advice, sorry. Feel for you but glad to read about someone else in the same boat.

Tanith You said she doesn't want to be 'seen' online, so could there be bullying happening during video classes or group conferences? Has she been criticised in some way either during or following a lesson, her appearance or ability perhaps? It's happening at my GDs school: nasty comments about her clothes or her home. It's cruel and hurtful, but she's developing a thick skin. Anything like that would really discourage a child wanting to do online lessons with other students. I hope you're able to help and encourage her somehow.

This is something that her teachers should be dealing with. Perhaps she isn’t coping well with home schooling, particularly if she is at home on her own. She needs motivation.

Not all teachers are pulling their weight. My neighbour who is a teacher, is setting work, then taking her own children out for the day - she is not there for supporting her pupils.

It could have me writing this letter,my GD is 16 next month,failing in math and driving her Mum,single parent crazy,only interested in her phone.She is a very sweet person
just got her first job at weekends and loves the money.But is missing out a huge part of life at that age,was keen and good at basketball,all cancelled.Due to COVID I never get to speak to her alone,she used to stay with us all the time and I looked after her most of her pre school life,it makes my heart ach.

I can totally understand her not wanting to be seen. I hate zoom meetings for that reason, though I am happy to listen . At the other end of the childhood age scale , my DGD aged 4 at the time, goes to ballet. Last LD classes were on zoom. She would take part but only if she couldn't be seen. And, let's be honest, don't a lot of us look at the settings where so many reporters, politicians, experts , celebrities etc are in when zooming?

I can assure she isn’t leaving the house and her room is perfectly acceptable to be shown she just doesn’t want all her class mates seeing her online I don’t like it either. She also isn’t depressed. Just an ordinary struggling teen one among thousands, at least she talks to her Mum they are very close and her Mum worries as do I.

I can totally empathise. My grandson is 15 and trying to get him to do work on line is almost impossible for my son and his partner. If they leave him for one moment he has reverted back to playing on his phone and shows no interest. During the last lock down my son changed shifts to stay at home and monitor his work but he got so stressed about it I worried about his health. I don't know how you motivate children of this age, he listens to what his parents say and agrees but then, when left alone, he doesn't do the work. I don't known what the answer is but it is very stressful for everyone.

This is a nightmare situation for pupils, parents and teachers alike. Is your DGD really understanding that it is more vital than ever that she is seen to be trying hard and that her teachers need to see her putting in the effort and the time?. Also, what is she actually doing with her time? If her mum is at work, can she be sure that your DGD is actually staying in? I live close to a park and see groups of teenagers passing our house on their way there. The online arts and drama courses seem a good idea. Could they be used as a reward for doing her expected school work? I wish you all well.

She won't be the only one having problems like this so I think her parents have to accept and support. The poor girls favourite subjects have been taken away from her. She should not be punished for this...

It’s so hard for children at the min. My Son will rush his to have free time.
Could you have a reward system - takeaway or movie night if all work done.
Can she manage to use the online schooling?
I’ve had to learn TEAMS quickly.
A routine works for us, so work in the morning break then another hour or so.

I have a 19 y.o. neice (an only child) and I know she is having difficulty at times doing her uni work. She told me that she has enrolled on Silvercloud which is an online mental health site. I think she said you have to be referred by your GP but it might be helpful for your granddaughter to look into this. My niece finds it helpful and so does my bother's partner who also uses it.

That's a funny picture growstuff and probably true!
Thanks for the explanation about assessments. Such a responsibility for the teachers.
It makes me think that it is actually at primary level we should be instilling more lessons in perseverance and self esteem rather than getting them all to jump through hoops from the beginning and thus destroying self esteem and enjoyment of learning.