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Grandparenting

Granddaughter sobs every time she goes to her mummys house

(54 Posts)
Goodynanny Sun 24-Jan-21 16:22:15

I’m worried about my granddaughter. She is only 5 and her mum left my son when she was two years old. My son has done a wonderful job bringing her up, she is such a happy child. But over the past year she doesn’t want to stay with her mum and her new partner at the weekends. We’ve asked her if she liked mummy’s new partner and she said he was nice.
She just wants to stay with her dad, where she lives during the week. She has started crying at bedtime and wanting to sleep with her dad. She’s now said she doesn’t feel safe at Mummy’s. I’m so concerned. I can’t bear to think of her being so unhappy. My son has spoken to his ex and she says she’s fine after a little while.

Nell8 Wed 27-Jan-21 08:55:53

Also, we're hearing the words "Stay safe!" everywhere at the moment.

PECS Wed 27-Jan-21 21:26:22

When I was investigating occasional accusations of " bullying" in school my advice to worried parent was for a whole week not to ask the child if x had been mean to them etc. but to greet them with something postive to talkabout. We promised to monitor in school. 9/10 the " bullying" disappeared... Children can quickly learn what gets attention... they don't do it to be naughty it is just learned
behaviour..

MamaBear20 Sat 30-Jan-21 02:47:48

There are two great questions that I learned to ask my kids whenever someone else cared for them. I asked these questions privately. And I never asked in front of the caregiver if they had fun. I didn’t want them to ever feel like they were lying or couldn’t tell me if something upsetting happened because they already said they had fun.

1.What was you favorite thing that happened?
2. What was your least favorite thing that happened?

I learned a lot about what went on from these questions. Happily I never learned of any abuse, but there was enough that I stopped using certain babysitters in favor of others.