Where to live?

We've been a similar distance away from our son more or less since he graduated. Visiting wasn't that difficult, by car or train, and when his marriage ended we were able to go and help him and to look after our grandchild at fairly frequent intervals - or he came to see us.

There will be weekends and holidays when you can visit your daughter or she might come 'home' for a few days. Being available to travel to grandson-sit in exceptional circumstances might be useful to your daughter, even if she doesn't have to call on you to do it.

I agree with the others, let her go and have her time at uni. She knows you're there for her. It's hard and you will miss them, but they'll miss you, too. When she graduates and finds a job, she'll be settled and you can review your situation and decide what's best.

I agree with previous posters Jackie12 time to let your daughter get on with her own life while you concentrate on yours. Time to enjoy life with your partner and be there for your Mother.

Absolutely do not follow her! She's young, she'll get her degree, then who knows where she'll be off to, to begin her career! You can't follow her around everywhere. You can arrange occasional weekends away to visit her, and universities have long holidays when your daughter and grandson can have long visits to you.

I feel sorry for your partner. Do you love him? A 20 year relationship, and you're considering upping sticks, without him, to follow after your daughter?

Also, your mother isn't getting any younger, and may in future need you not too far away. Sounds like you need to think long and hard about this, before you make a decision you live to regret.

I think you should create your own life and not follow your daughter around while she lives hers. In a few years when she graduates, she may decide to move back to hometown. Or she may move even further away. Are you going to keep uprooting yourself to follow her? Does she even want you to do that?

I think your first loyalty is to your partner who is your immediate family. If you daughter is off to uni,in 3 year’s time she will likely move again anyway and you can’t just follow her around everywhere. It sounds harsh but 4.5 hours is not that far at all, certainly not by our standards here in Australia!