DH says no to caring for grandchild

I think your DH is right. I don’t have grandchildren but I wouldn’t take on caring for them. When our son was little we didn’t have family nearby and my husband worked away from home a lot so I had to make my own proper childcare arrangements.

While I absolutely agree that he has no right to stop you providing child care for your grandchild, is he concerned it might be too much for you? I watch my dgs two days a week and it is very tiring.

Is he always this controlling?

Galaxy

He absolutely has the right to say he wont help with looking after a grandchild, he has no right to say you cant look after a grandchild.

This!

I wouldn`t stand being told what to do by anyone.
Your Gc is precious and time with her would be wonderful
I used to have my g/children every wednesday and we all had great fun,sadly they are too old to need looking after.
So Babushke63,make the most of it and stand your ground.

As others have said, this is your decision, not your husband's. However, it is a decision not a duty, only do it if you want to. There are plenty of us in our generation who went out to work and paid for our own childcare. Today's mothers do not have a right to demand childcare from their own mothers.

Just tell him that’s what you’re doing. You don’t need his permission.

I’d do the childcare at their house though, and save mine for special visits with Granny and Granpa ?

That does sound rather selfish of your DH. I would look after my GC in a flash (and I do - I have twin GDs aged 3). It’s such a special, precious time and childhood is so short. I regard it as an absolute honour to be able to look after them. You may feel resentful if you don’t do this and your DH shouldn’t dictate how you spend your time, especially when he’s out working.

I look after my granddaughter one day a week my husband would not dream of telling me not to do it He is working anyway and as our office is attached to the house he gets to see her too
He knows he would get short shift from me anyway if he tried to tell me what I can or cannot do

Is the grandchild here yet? My ex husband was adamant he would never look after GC. Now they’re here he dotes on them. My new OH does too. I think they love the unconditional love that comes from GC. They don’t get judged or told they need to do x or y. They just get big hugs. It melts them in my experience. He’s probably worried you’ll not give him the attention he likes. Men are babies really.

This is your decision, not his, whether it is half a day or one to two days a week. It is your time as well as your home, and he is clearly not expected to help out.
If you want to do it, do it.

Can you go to the Gdcs’ house on your own?
That way he doesn’t need to be involved.
I’d just tell him - as calmly as possible. He really doesn’t have the right to dictate to you like this.

He will probably be at work so what does it matter.

If he is working why does it concern him how you choose to spend your days? If you want to help with a grandchild of course you should, the baby days are quickly gone, as they were with your own children. Enjoy them while you can.

Do what you want to do, babushka. What your husband wants (or rather doesn't want) is not irrelevant but it's not the most important thing. The choice is yours whether to take on the responsibility of this new job.

grandchild, not grand!

I think your husband has a bit too much to say about how you spend your time, Babushka. He’s out working, so surely it wouldn’t affect him anyway if you spent a couple of days with your grand.

It sounds as if you really want to do it, so do it. I’ve spent a day or two a week looking after each of mine as the chance arose and have absolutely loved it.

He absolutely has the right to say he wont help with looking after a grandchild, he has no right to say you cant look after a grandchild.

Things have changed. Whereas it was ok and socially acceptable to be a sahm for the previous generation, young women of today are under increased pressure to earn a living, have their own pensions and not solely rely on a husband. The coming generations will have to work a lot harder to achieve a halfway decent living standard for their old age than our generation. So yes, I do not have grandkids yet, but I would definitely see it as my duty to help my kids. My grandkids will also be my “blood”, and it’s not only work, but kids are a lot of joy and keep you young. I would be honoured to be asked to look after my grandkids and have a special relationship with them.

I see no harm in offering to help with childcare if you are willing and able. DH does sound a bit selfish to me. It is up to you but it is rewarding helping your family.

For one half day? Does he fear it may become more? If he isn't even there for that one half day I don't get it, unless he's frightened if the child comes to you it will trash the house?

If you are going to the child's home then I don't see the problem. You are not a prisoner.