Calling SS on Tuesday

Minerva that made me smile-it sounds so lovely!

My grandson just returned to school after 13 months being ‘unschooled’ from age 6 to 7. We did what we felt like and had a great time. If circumstances were different, if I was younger and his mum not working all hours then unschooling would be our choice for him. Time to make things, pursue his interests, spend whole days out of doors, play scrabble with the computer, play with his toys. He can teach me how to work the computer and has read the whole of the Harry Potter books. Unschooling is not unlearning.

He made me a card for the last day of Nanny’s school.
It was headed St. Minerva’s school.
Teachers: 1
Students: 1
Pencils: lots
Rubbers: quite a lot
Attendance: not that often
Offsted rating ?????
Interruptions in class: loads
Gardening level: high

and so on in this vein. I did consult the national curriculum at the beginning and decided it was just too boring. Maths and English are all around us and unschooling doesn’t mean nothing gets learnt, quite the opposite in fact. We also had huge fun and I miss him but we knew once I was double jabbed we would go back to something nearer normality. He is happy back with his peers and I am happy getting time off duty.

Maggiemaybe

^Not read all these posts^

Have you actually read any of them?

Most of them, Maggiemaybe, most of them.

And here we have it
I will get what I want
I m not so sure you will Grannypie

You say yourself you have seen these children about twice a year because you live 4 hours away
Your son has lived with his wife for at least seven years and not put up any fight about their education he comes home to mum giving her the full on story of how awful everything is and granypie is incensed and completely ‘takes over’

If you had come on here and said your son was worried and going to ring SS or LA it would have been understandable and I think you would have got a lot of support but oh no no no for whatever reason he’s run home to mum and he’s obviously stirred the pot and handed over to a very angry mum who is incensed and wants to be in total charge without any firm evidence that a) they are getting no teaching, b) they are not happy well rounded kids
You need to get off your high horse and hand the reins over to your son IT IS NOT YOUR ROLE Grannypie

Wow. Just wow. What an attitude OP.

I know that people are answering phones HurdyGurdy but they are usually just representative of whole departments not the people who deal with the complicated issues. At least the are in my LA. If you want a particular person you have to be called back.

I suspect that OP was framing the conversation in a slightly more flattering light... I imagine they said they’d look into it and she’s projecting.

We are still answering phones from home trisher.

Our phones have been ringing constantly, and today's been no exception.

I agree that if the person the OP spoke with had shared any details of the family, then they would be in a lot of trouble. The IP could have been anyone saying they were a relative. As it is, the OP has said that the LA had no knowledge of the family, so couldn't share anything.

Very unwise to voice the opinion of "under the radar". She should have taken note of the concerns only.

EllanVannin

Non-attendance is a red light in the world of social services.

Is it really? I've known lots of non-attenders who were never approached by SS including my own son who dropped out of school at 13 when the stress of dyslexia and the bullying got too much for him. We never heard a whisper from SS and that was 25 years ago. They're even more overstretched now.

I'm interested that the LA responded so swiftly. I thought only skeleton office staff were available and most staff were still working from home. So the usual response is "Leave your details and someone will get back to you." I'm amazed the home schooling person was there.

Not read all these posts

Have you actually read any of them?

Not read all these posts but it appears that the OP would like the children to be placed in her care and is looking for ways to do this.

Grandparents don't have a great deal of rights and if my in-laws tried to pull a stunt like this I'd want them out of my children's lives.

Having worked in local government for almost all of my adult life I can say that if an employee discussed the matter with a third party, yes even a grandparent without the written permission of the parent, then there could well be repercussions. A complaint from DIL would get the ball rolling on that one. The father has the right to contact the LEA and discuss the issue but for crying out loud why not just talk to the mother?
And if there are no issues of neglect why would SS be involved?

unwise to follow

I’m sorry to keep harping on, but it does matter who picked up the phone and made the call.

The son is now an absent father who up until the separation has agreed with the method of schooling for his children. As he has not contacted the LA the presumption must be that he is still in favour.

The law says that parents are responsible for ensuring their children receive education, not the LA. The fact that a family member has express concerns will carry little weight because both parents appear to be in agreement with the method employed.

The OPs son needs to get involved if he is really serious about making changes. If he continues to absent himself then the LA will have to make a judgement on what the mother says and demonstrates.

I think the OP was unwise to to are the route she has and I think it will be counterproductive n providing the DIL with grounds for complaint in regard to her actions.

But what is done is done. I still think there was a better way.

Slightly off-topic but I wanted to share this uplifting tale which you may have missed:
www.facebook.com/watch/?v=499668547856152

Children are amazing!

“I will get what I want”

Yep, this is the MiL from hell...

It seems to me that you are throwing a tantrum because the majority of grandparents on here have warned you of the potential dangers of interfering in something that you have no knowledge of, only hearsay reports, and one sided complaints from your son. Also, the person in the LEA who discussed your grandchildren's education or lack of it, without any idea of who you were was in a serious legal breach of Data Protection and may well lose her job when your Daughter in Law gets the promised visit. So, all in all, a good morning's work eh?

Non-attendance is a red light in the world of social services.

LullyDully, on the contrary, you'd be surprised how much input SS does have as regards a child's education.

Fair enough NotSpaghetti. I didn’t see that - it’s a very lively thread! But still ... isn’t consistent day-to-day interaction better in building team work, cooperation and time out away from mummy? Children need to gain independence. So the experts told us during lockdown. Play dates are not enough.

Decent ...sorry for the bad spelling!

I will get what I want because I want my gc to get a proper education and now with the help if the LA they will. Whatever that looks like which I hope is school and if not proper structured homeschool.

Bibbity I think you have no life because the vast majority of your posts are of the same aggressively judgemental and bullying nature as the ones you have posted here. I also think you have no life because despite claiming to be sickened you just can't help yourself but to return here and indulge yourself in this allegedly sickening tale. I think you have no life because you appear to thrive on ranting spiteful comments at strangers and I think you have no life because you fail to realise that people like you prevent others from wanting to post their opinions and are also the reason why trolls come here for the entertainment of pressing people's buttons. You're a very easy target

Thank you to all of those who responded properly, whether you agreed with me or didn't and thank you to those in PM we will continue there
Good afternoon

If the children do start school it'll be the teacher who'll be in touch with SS as to a reason for non-attendance. Unless a family has returned from another country, there will be questions asked. SS have more powers than anyone realises and if there is no good reason then the authorities will take over their welfare, even if the children live/ stay with grannie their futures will remain in the hands of the local authority.

I would get this matter sorted asap and have the children registered at a school. What about their vaccinations, are they all up to date ? Are they registered to a GP ?

This tread is getting too long to read everything, so I read the first and last pages....sorry.

I would be very worried if my grandsons lived under such a regime grannypie.

Children need to understand maths and to be able to read. Social service do not exist for the purpose of monitoring education however.

It is time that home schoolers. had both support and accountability imo. I know this is not everyone's opinion, but a child has a basic right to a descent education , which can not be gained through Minecraft.

It is your son's job to sort this out, you will need to ' sit on your hands' and nice your time in silence. Not easy, I just hope it gets sorted for the children's sake.