Calling SS on Tuesday

unwise to follow

Having worked in local government for almost all of my adult life I can say that if an employee discussed the matter with a third party, yes even a grandparent without the written permission of the parent, then there could well be repercussions. A complaint from DIL would get the ball rolling on that one. The father has the right to contact the LEA and discuss the issue but for crying out loud why not just talk to the mother?
And if there are no issues of neglect why would SS be involved?

Not read all these posts but it appears that the OP would like the children to be placed in her care and is looking for ways to do this.

Grandparents don't have a great deal of rights and if my in-laws tried to pull a stunt like this I'd want them out of my children's lives.

Not read all these posts

Have you actually read any of them?

EllanVannin

Non-attendance is a red light in the world of social services.

Is it really? I've known lots of non-attenders who were never approached by SS including my own son who dropped out of school at 13 when the stress of dyslexia and the bullying got too much for him. We never heard a whisper from SS and that was 25 years ago. They're even more overstretched now.

I'm interested that the LA responded so swiftly. I thought only skeleton office staff were available and most staff were still working from home. So the usual response is "Leave your details and someone will get back to you." I'm amazed the home schooling person was there.

We are still answering phones from home trisher.

Our phones have been ringing constantly, and today's been no exception.

I agree that if the person the OP spoke with had shared any details of the family, then they would be in a lot of trouble. The IP could have been anyone saying they were a relative. As it is, the OP has said that the LA had no knowledge of the family, so couldn't share anything.

Very unwise to voice the opinion of "under the radar". She should have taken note of the concerns only.

I suspect that OP was framing the conversation in a slightly more flattering light... I imagine they said they’d look into it and she’s projecting.

I know that people are answering phones HurdyGurdy but they are usually just representative of whole departments not the people who deal with the complicated issues. At least the are in my LA. If you want a particular person you have to be called back.

Wow. Just wow. What an attitude OP.

And here we have it
I will get what I want
I m not so sure you will Grannypie

You say yourself you have seen these children about twice a year because you live 4 hours away
Your son has lived with his wife for at least seven years and not put up any fight about their education he comes home to mum giving her the full on story of how awful everything is and granypie is incensed and completely ‘takes over’

If you had come on here and said your son was worried and going to ring SS or LA it would have been understandable and I think you would have got a lot of support but oh no no no for whatever reason he’s run home to mum and he’s obviously stirred the pot and handed over to a very angry mum who is incensed and wants to be in total charge without any firm evidence that a) they are getting no teaching, b) they are not happy well rounded kids
You need to get off your high horse and hand the reins over to your son IT IS NOT YOUR ROLE Grannypie

Maggiemaybe

^Not read all these posts^

Have you actually read any of them?

Most of them, Maggiemaybe, most of them.

My grandson just returned to school after 13 months being ‘unschooled’ from age 6 to 7. We did what we felt like and had a great time. If circumstances were different, if I was younger and his mum not working all hours then unschooling would be our choice for him. Time to make things, pursue his interests, spend whole days out of doors, play scrabble with the computer, play with his toys. He can teach me how to work the computer and has read the whole of the Harry Potter books. Unschooling is not unlearning.

He made me a card for the last day of Nanny’s school.
It was headed St. Minerva’s school.
Teachers: 1
Students: 1
Pencils: lots
Rubbers: quite a lot
Attendance: not that often
Offsted rating ?????
Interruptions in class: loads
Gardening level: high

and so on in this vein. I did consult the national curriculum at the beginning and decided it was just too boring. Maths and English are all around us and unschooling doesn’t mean nothing gets learnt, quite the opposite in fact. We also had huge fun and I miss him but we knew once I was double jabbed we would go back to something nearer normality. He is happy back with his peers and I am happy getting time off duty.

Minerva that made me smile-it sounds so lovely!

What a warm and loving post Minerva
So nice to hear such positivity.

As he said:
?????

Minerva, that is so lovely.

It just should be illegal, and then OP would not find herself in this dilemma.

I worry about how those children will react later- when they find they just cannot study for what they want to do and find they have years of catching up to do if they want to get access to Higher Ed.

Lovely post, Minerva.

How lovely Minerva what a joyful time for you and your grandson. Life is learning, baking a cake is reading, measuring, combining, not everything comes to us in a classroom.

There used to be annual ‘inspections’ by education authorities of home schooled children to ensure that they were being properly cared for (and not abused) and broadly up to an acceptable level as regards reading, maths etc. Unfortunately, cuts in local services over last 15+ years means that these inspections are not being carried out and many children are under the radar. It is not acceptable for a child of 7 to be playing on a screen all day (and night!) and it looks as though an addiction may have developed. The children have a right to an education and to develop their potential. Home schooling has never meant that they are simply left entirely to their own devices. If your son is now concerned that he has been neglectful, it is up to him to challenge his ex wife and the theories she is spouting. If not satisfied, he can apply to court for a ruling as to how the children are to be educated. This is always a route when parents disagree profoundly on important issues such as education, health, religion etc. Mediation will probably be attempted first and the court might well order an educational psychologist’s report. This all takes time but clearly the first step is for your son (not you) to challenge the other parent and express his concerns about the children and their development. Social services might become involved at some point but do not need to be the first port of call.

I’m wondering if some recent posters have actually read the whole thread?

I'm with Dylan1234, and why did this thread have to get so unpleasant? I'm really shocked by some if the post early afternoon, I've never seen poster's family members abused in this way.

Dylant1234

There used to be annual ‘inspections’ by education authorities of home schooled children to ensure that they were being properly cared for (and not abused) and broadly up to an acceptable level as regards reading, maths etc. Unfortunately, cuts in local services over last 15+ years means that these inspections are not being carried out and many children are under the radar. It is not acceptable for a child of 7 to be playing on a screen all day (and night!) and it looks as though an addiction may have developed. The children have a right to an education and to develop their potential. Home schooling has never meant that they are simply left entirely to their own devices. If your son is now concerned that he has been neglectful, it is up to him to challenge his ex wife and the theories she is spouting. If not satisfied, he can apply to court for a ruling as to how the children are to be educated. This is always a route when parents disagree profoundly on important issues such as education, health, religion etc. Mediation will probably be attempted first and the court might well order an educational psychologist’s report. This all takes time but clearly the first step is for your son (not you) to challenge the other parent and express his concerns about the children and their development. Social services might become involved at some point but do not need to be the first port of call.

Excellent post.

I was fortunate to find a school (private) that would allow my child to split his attendance between school and home. On our home days we did geography, history, maths, RE, English, art, music, design, PE, biology, physics and chemistry, although to the bystander they looked rather different from the lessons he had in school. You see, our son had guitar lessons and took pottery classes, he made origami sculptures and baked, cooked, knitted, took walks, had long conversations, did some house cleaning, and washed and ironed his own clothes. These were his ‘lessons’.

Although he didn’t get as much formal ‘schooling’ as other children, he nevertheless got a brilliant education. He actually finished school with a 93% grade average and went on to attend university (he made the Dean’s List) and then got a job (there were 300 applicants) as a Graduate Engineer.

He has good friends, lots of interesting hobbies and is a thoroughly nice well-rounded young man. His siblings are equally lovely and they did all attend the local state schools.

I hope this reassures you that although an ‘alternative’ education may look as if nothing much is going on there’s often a lot of learning/education taking place.

The nature of the complaint was that no schooling was provided, rather than homeschooling. This can begin to look to outside agencies like a care and welfare issue.

There’s a fair chance the LEA will bung this into a child protection referral to SW. SW aren’t required to keep the identity of those referring concerns anonymous.

SW might have a different view about a father who took no action to enrol the children in school - assuming he has parental rights and responsibilities, he alone could have enrolled them at any point - suddenly wanting the LEA and perhaps SW involved after he leaves the family home.

Choosing to approach the LEA alone does not ensure the issue will remain solely in the LEA’s hands, or indeed that the interests of agencies will be confined to educational attainment and school registration.

SW will also want to know why, if the father has serious concerns for the children’s welfare, he did not take them with him when he left. I must admit I have asked this question professionally of a number of non custodial parents.

The thing about involving agencies with a statutory duty to children in the lives of specific children is that from then onwards, the agencies themselves determine the extent of the input - whether that feels too much or too little - they have with those children from then on. The person reporting concerns does not remain in charge of the process once they make the decision to approach statutory authorities.

I hope the end result is in the best interest of the children and they flourish in the future.