Calling SS on Tuesday

So why are you so bothered?

Haha. I will but just remember the biggest failure to those children Is your son. And you enabling him.

@bibbity

As I said Bobbitt crack on love

Exacrly, Bibbity! No wonder as soon as the relationship ended (did she kick him out?) he ran back to mummy rather than live independently.

@hithere It may very well remind you of that but children do not have a right to eat meat nor do they hav a future that depends on it.
Veganism is a life choice which is none of the gp business but if the children became malnourished as a result it wouldn't matter who phoned and brought it to light. And the advice of keep out or you will be estranged is not right when it comes to children's welfare.

When estrangement happens those who carry out the estrangement have done it as a last resort. They have tried everything and the estrangement is as painful to them as it is to all involved and that's why everyone has a role in this outcome and has to be very honest with themselves as to what their role was.

Of course there are estrangements that are caused by one person using it as a punishment after one disagreement or to get their own way but that is not something anybody should live in fear of. If you have a member of the family who is likely to whip the GC away from you at the drop of the hat or unless you do as they say, you don't just ignore issues like the children's welfare or educational needs for fear of never seeing them again. We all want to see our GC but the GC needs must come first. I'd hate not to see them I don't see them much as it is but their well-being comes above my desire for a relationship and cuddles.

Granypie

Bibbity you seem desperate to turn this into some kind of slanging match with me about my son. The thread is about concerns over my gc education I have since notified the local authority and left it in their capable hands. If they deem the "education" suitable then nothing more will come of it, if not then they will see to it that the children are sent to school. They are the experts.

I have never once said that anything other than the children's education is being neglected.

If it improves your day to sit there seething with spite over my actions and a negative opinion of my son and his use of a telephone or lack thereof, a man you have never met and most likely never will, then you crack on love.

Because it’s so hilariously obvious what’s happened many posters here have even said it.

Big man runs home to mummy with awful tales about his wicked Ex and what a terrible mother she is.
So awful is the neglect that he has done zero about it.
Left them with her (why didn’t he take them, stay with them?)
And has done nothing about it in several years.

Did you ever challenge him on the hypocritical comment you posted here?
How can they be doing all these outdoor forest walks, cooking etc if they are always on devices?

If it’s so awful what legal steps has he taken to rectify the neglect? What calls has he made?

So either there is not neglect and he’s just stirring the pot.

Or he’s a bad father. Either way. He’s gross.

OP

Your son comes across as passive, inexistent and absent as person and father

Is that a product of the education you so much admire? What about his upbringing?

He is clearly not stepping up to the plate and you still think you want the best for the gc?

If anything, concentrate on your son and his inaction. Make him care about his kids and fight for them.

Now that you called, everything will get much more complicated.

This reminds me of the dear abby letter of the vegan gc whose grandma knew better, went against the vegan diet and then the grandparent was outraged she was cut off.

The thread is about my concerns over the children's education and that is why I talk a lot about education

You talk a lot about the children’s education, or lack of it, what about their happiness? Their mum and dad have just split, a granny who only sees them twice a year at most wants them taken from what they know and sent to school straight away so they stand a chance of sitting at a till in ASDA. Schools are not the happiest of places for many children. Their world is about to turned upside down again and they are only 7.
I understand you are worried about them but believe me there is more to be worried about than education. Many young people these days are suffering from depression, bullying, cyber bullying. Everything is not one sided. Are they happy, or were they before you stepped in?

If the children are not being educated correctly the LA will see to it that they are as they have powers to do so

Granypie can I ask what sort of a future you see for your GCs if they are "sent to school"? What if they hate it? Will you then allow their mother to educate them in her own way? The idea that suddenly the LA are going to step in and transform these children's lives is just wrong. They remain their mother's children. You could if you wish try to build bridges with her, encourage your DS to take responsibility and provide some care and possibly schooling for them, you've chosen instead to hand the situation over to a service that is always overstretched and which has limited resources and solutions. I really don't know what you think iis going to happen but I''m fairly sure it won't work out as you expect it to.
You seem obsessed with schools, qualifications and tests. But it has been shown time and time again that actually children however they spend their early years can make progress in later life and can gain the qualifications they need. But I can tell you from experience that children who are desperately unhappy make no academic progress whatsoever.

Concerns for a child are everybody's business

And I honestly do not care for any comments that are about me and my son as people.

I am a GP who has concerns over GC education so I called the education department at the local authority and they're looking into it. End of. There's nothing more to see here.

Ok - you were given a lot of objective advice at the start of this thread to mind your business.

You didn’t like that advice, so objectivity hasn’t ever been your issue, I think you’re looking for validation.

And as for your son - is it so crazy to assume that he should be advocating for his children is this is what he thinks (as you’ve said it is). Why does he need his mum to do that for him?

The reason you’re being met with negativity is due to your spectacular lack of self awareness.

I was not shouting at you @notspaghetti I was just emphasising that without being informed the LA would have not looked into them as they were not known to them as is allowed with homeschooling

@peasblossom the only way the person taking the call could have got to not trouble would be if they held information regarding the GC and shared that information with me. As they didn't know if the family they had no information to share or to tell me they couldn't share.

Quite frankly some of the way people have spoken to me and the level of spite are just shocking. I wonder why people respond in an aggressive nasty way and can't give objective advice.

Bibbity you seem desperate to turn this into some kind of slanging match with me about my son. The thread is about concerns over my gc education I have since notified the local authority and left it in their capable hands. If they deem the "education" suitable then nothing more will come of it, if not then they will see to it that the children are sent to school. They are the experts.

I have never once said that anything other than the children's education is being neglected.

If it improves your day to sit there seething with spite over my actions and a negative opinion of my son and his use of a telephone or lack thereof, a man you have never met and most likely never will, then you crack on love.

Granypie

Yes and had I not have called they would not be making ANY enquiry

No need to be so shouty, Granypie - I was just using this as an example to explain to Chardy the sort of informal enquiry the LEA might want to make.

I’m sorry - I was trying to be helpful!

I have been trying to help by explaining how it works. I’m not having “fun”. Just if you really want to get things done there is right way to go about it. And a way that just muddies the waters and can make it more difficult or even prevent it.

If all she did was take information and explain the procedure that would be ok. That’s why I said I hoped it would be recorded.

If she discussed the children in any way or made judgemental remarks that opens the door for your DIL to make complaint against the LA.

It could have been avoided by your son making the call.

I do actually know what I’m talking about here. It was part of my job.

Did your son manage to drag himself to this phone call at all?

Once again we’re discussing the apparent neglect of his children and yet he doesn’t feature.

Yes, Grammaretto the law is different in Scotland but not substantially. There are lots of home-edders in Scotland.

Since devolution, the application of the law is also slightly different Wales.

I’m not 100% confident of the difference but you may find something here: www.schoolhouse.org.uk/

The reason you got into trouble when you took your son out for the day and had “dire warnings” regarding the French experience is because you had already basically handed your “education responsibility” to them and then (sort of) tried to take it back again.

The French trip would probably have been easier if you had “de-registered” her - as it seems to me that you were technically expecting them to do was sign her off as “present” - and by that I mean being educated- for a term (because you said she was being educated elsewhere).

Interesting though!

I gave my information I have no reason not to

You gave your name, relationship and contact details?
Or were you an anonymous caller?

What on earth would they be in trouble for? Somebody called raised a concern and they told them how it will be dealt with. Sorry to spoil your fun but nobody will be getting fired from any job for that

Oh dear. If the person at the LA discussed children over the phone, with no way of knowing who she as talking to she is in serious trouble.

As for remarks such as “keeping under the radar’ that was very inappropriate.

I hope the phone call was recorded. Now the DIL has substantial grounds for complaint and to challenge any LA judgement.
Also any kind of resolution between parents is virtually impossible.

I think you may have actually done a very unwise thing Granypie. It really should have been your son. Really. Truly,