Worried all the time

Has something happened to make you feel this way? What were you like with your own children? Maybe speak to your son/daughter and tell them how you feel? If you are like this with more than just your granddaughter perhaps seek some help, take care xx

Is she your first grandchild? If so it’s probably natural to worry, especially if it’s some years since you looked after a two year old.
Our two year old is our sixth, so I tend not to worry about her too much, I also feel that parents attitude plays a part, do they give you rules to follow? If she did get a tiny bit sunburned, would they blame you?
Try and enjoy her, she will never be quite as lovely again.

Hi there Sara makes a good point. I was just like this with my first dgd it really did spoil my time with her and it’s such a shame, I was exhausted by the end of the day and just couldn’t relax. Now I’m on to my 3rd dgc it’s so much easier.
When I look back I wonder why I was so worried, don’t know the answer really, maybe it’s like having your first child ? Hope you feel better as time goes on . Good luck.

Thanks yes she is my first grandchild. I did worry a bit with my children. Not like this though. My daughter and son in law are easy going so no issue there. I just feel I can't allow anything to happen to her.

I sympathise! I have a dgs who is two and I watch him two days a week. Since he was tiny, I've been prone to intrusive thoughts like you. I think it's natural to worry as you are looking after someone else's child. I make a point of addressing the thoughts. I ask has anything happened so far? Am I more or less careful than with my own children? I acknowledge my fears and go through how I can minimise risks then make a big effort to put the worries to one side.

I would want to control this anxiety as
1. It is not healthy for you to live this way
2. This is going to impact your gd and do you want her to suffer like you do?

A close friend and her husband were looking after my two year old, they took her to the park, and she fell off the top of the slide, she was covered in bumps and bruises, but no real harm done.
They were mortified, but if could easily have happened whoever was looking after her.

I think it's quite natural, when it's someone else's child, to be extra aware of hazards. It's an extra level of responsibility.

Can you write down the main circumstances that you worry about? Then you can decide on the strategy you will use to mitigate against any problems, writing that down, too. You won't then need to keep worrying because you'll know what you're going to do and can do it with increasing confidence. As your GD grows you'll be able to cross some things off the list and add any new things.

Thank you, that's all been really helpful. Nice to know it's not just me.

I know how you feel, we didn't provide regular childcare, we live 200 miles away from DGC.

But the first time we went to provide childcare for a week during school holidays, we took her to the beach, as the beach faded into rocks it got very slimy , and as I said we would turn back as we met the slime, she trod on a small patch I hadn't noticed slipped, fell and ended with one of those long light grazes all the way down one thigh. She wasn't bothered, but we were, we took her back home at the end of the day, convinced we would never be trusted with her again.

To our relief, her quite fussy parents were unbothered and we then went out every day for the rest of the week and stopped worrying about minor mishaps.

There’s a balance to be struck between being very aware of their safety and well being, especially when they’re so young-and blooming active-and enjoying them.
I’m very safety conscious-you know gates, stairs, roads etc but our home is deliberately safe so I can relax and enjoy their company. Outside the home I am very (casually) vigilant especially in play areas. I trail round with them at that age-they do seem to survive despite us! Glad you’re taking your responsibility seriously but enjoy your little one too-they will grow up knowing you’re in charge and can be relied on to keep them safe

I was exactly like this with my first grandchild. I looked after her three days a week, all day, from nine months to about three years.
I think it’s about responsibility and emotion, so it doubles the anxiety. As a mum, it was emotional. I was only answerable to myself and my husband. A childminder is answerable to the parents, so responsibility, no emotion. As a grandparent, it’s all of them and more.
Not sure if I’ve explained that very well. The point is, it sounds like you’re doing a great job. Relax and enjoy as much as you can.

I was the same with my first gs. I didnt really enjoy him as i was so nervous with him. I childminded him 1 day a week and used to feel sick at the thought of him coming even though I adored him and I was more than capable of looking after him but didnt know it. I think is the responsability of looking after someone elses child. I didnt tell my daughter how I felt at the time but now we laugh over it. I now have a gd as well and I still childmind them 1 day a week and love it. I am so much more relaxed although it is hard work at times but we do have a lot of fun. and now I have another one on the way so will be an old hand. Just try to relax and enjoy your gc. Good luch.

My grandson was 6 when my in-laws took him shopping to an unfamiliar town, left him outside a shop and couldn't find him when they came back out. He was luckily taken to security centre and they kept him for about 2 hours. I wasn't too cross that they'd lost him, but he was so upset as all the way home they'd been telling him what a naughty boy he was to move from the shop door! I was cross about them punishing him as I would never have left him myself in a busy town centre at that age. But my dc loved their grandparents very much and they still looked after him, & then younger son,for a spell most weeks.It's such a shame you get yourself worked up when you have your granddaughter, I can imagine I would be the same. As other posters have said, it may get easier - I really hope so.

I looked after my 7 month old grandson on my own for the first time last week. Although I have been around him a lot it was amazing how anxious and concerned I felt. I thought it would be a walk in the park but the fear of doing something wrong or something happening was overwhelming- it all went fine - he fell asleep on me during his bottle and life was perfect - I have agreed to childcare once a week when my daughter returns to work in November , and already anxious

Don't think these feelings are uncommon. I take have taken care of grandchildren one day a week for a long time. l was never anxious with my own children , but our grandchildren are not ours and it is a huge responsibility. I feel it particularly when I take the youngest with me to collect the elder one from school. Driving with them is massive!! My DD is not fussy and trusts me completely, that is lovey but does not help with my anxiety!

If the pandemic has taught me anything, it's that there is no point worrying about what 'might happen'. Who could have foretold this mess (and if we had, what could we have done about it?)
Just take the usual, sensible precautions and go out and make fun memories with your lovely GD.

Other posters have mentioned the natural anxiety about looking after a grandchild.
I think that the pandemic has made a lot of us more generally anxious. I have noticed in a lot of people - partly generally increased anxiety. But I also think that it is something to do with having fewer day-to-day interactions, less time spent on informal chats and so on.
I think it useful to try a commentary in your head when you feel like this - rather like a nursery worker doing an observation:
GC is looking across the room - has seen a toy that interests him - he is running to get it - he is calling to me to come and see.......

I don't mean do this all the time! But it is a way of focusing on the child and not the intrusive thoughts.