I don't think my 18yo grand-daughter likes me :-(

Hithere

Yabu

I’m assuming that means you think the OP is being unreasonable. It would be nice if you could say why…

Agaa4
Agree, unfortunately "fairly" is a subjective concept, there is no standard definition

Well that was a really mean thing to do. I would be inclined to pullback. You have done your bit so how about treating yourself for a change? You can't make them like you but really they could treat you more fairly. Maybe speak to your son? It won't change anything but it would let them know how you feel. I would also leave the washing up in the sink, you don't have to be a doormat.

Hithere

I said yabu because while you are taken from granted, it is not reasonable or realistic to expect a certain treatment or reward based on what you have done for them

Also, how do you know what the box for the material's gf contained?

It is reasonable to expect to be treated fairly and the OP isn't being treated fairly.

"My DIL, son & grand-daughters always go to her parents for Christmas dinner. Even though I was allegedly in their 'Bubble' last year, they didn't invite me for dinner at Christmas, in fact not much had changed because that's what they've been doing for years."

While it is hurtful, may I ask why did you expect an invitation to xmas dinner when they have not included you for years?

Yes, you are being taken for granted and seems it has been taking place for years.
What changed now for you that seems to bother you more?

I said yabu because while you are taken from granted, it is not reasonable or realistic to expect a certain treatment or reward based on what you have done for them

Also, how do you know what the box for the material's gf contained?

Unkind hithere
I can understand where you’re coming from naughtyNan
That little scene with the cake seems to have been done purposely by your granddaughter and was really unkind I don’t think you’re overreacting and I don’t think I d be quite so generous with that granddaughter in the future Is this new behaviour ? How have you got on with her in the past?
You talk about ‘kids’ so how are the other grandkids towards you ?
I think as you are on your own they were unkind to not invite you for one meal over Christmas but that would need to be your son telling his wife he’d like his mum to come over for a meal so why not have a chat with him and tell him it hurts to be ignored They (he) is taking you for granted and not really being very caring at all
I d be miserable too

Hithere useful advice !!

I would cut back on doing things for all of them.
They are taking you for granted.

I understand why you feel upset. Your family do seem to be taking you for granted. It sounds as though you have done a lot for them and it is hurtful to be neglected by them.
Favouring the other grandparents is not fair on you but I know this does seem to happen with one set, usually the parents of the daughter.
I would not be so willing to do things for them or your GD. [Flowers]

Yabu