Not so patient grandpa

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

It is not about playing with water.

It is how grandpa seems very disconnected from the needs of a child and refuses responsibility on upsetting his gc.

Oh come on child abuse for playing with a child that didn’t like it and cried Newatthis Do you know what child abuse is ?

The 4 year old next door to me has been crying and screaming all afternoon because his older brother is hurting him in the rough and tumble of play

That would be a grandpa my kid wouldn't see unless he learns kids are kids
For crying out loud Hithere it was a play water fight the child probably got a bit over whelmed but he didn’t disappear in a puff of smoke he carried on playing with his grandad afterwards he just misjudged it slightly no harm done A big big overreaction

I think GS cried because he had a bit of a shock. GF went indoors because he was upset that he had upset his GS but didn't know how to deal with it. I would laugh it off with GF and just explain not to surprise the child but to ask him if he wants to play at whatever.

My Dad was ex military and a boxer, very much a 'man's man'. He loved us dearly and often played with us but had no idea what to do if one of us cried and he didn't understand why. If it was an obvious cut or we fell over we would get a cuddle and he would try to kiss it better. If it was something he couldn't see the reaction was more likely to be 'What are you crying for? Stop grizzling'. He was in general a very good Dad though.

I hadn't realised until yesterday, that water left in a hose can also heat up in the sun. Please beware.

"It is a joke" - grandpa minimizing what he did to upset his gc and shaking responsibility off

Sending gc inside so neighbours wouldnt be disturbed with gc's crying - what kind of grandparent is he?

OP's sulking - behaving like a child himself

Poor gc - he deserves a better grandfather role in his life

That would be a grandpa my kid wouldn't see unless he learns kids are kids.

Monica ?

For goodness sake, I have heard it all now, even the suggestion about child abuse is odd.
This scenario plays out all the time, kids soon move on, it's over, dont sweat the small stuff. I would not give this a second thought.
Grandpa and Grandson will play fight another day.

Madgran77. My apologies. As I said the weather is getting to us all, including me!

Thast "actually" reads a bit bolshie doesn't it, wasn't meant to ...just a "thinking about it" sort of actually!!

Oh dear, yup the heat is getting to me, I will shut up

There was a water fight. A child cried. A man sulked. There was another water fight. Child and man enjoyed it. End of story

Actually Chewbacca, despite my previous post suggesting a chat, which I still think wouldn't be a bad idea, I tend to agree with you.

Monica I DID NOT say it was child abuse, that was newatthis which is why the original comment was in bold in my post with a confused emoji afterwards!! Ofcourse it is not child abuse as several other posters have also said

Never mind Monica,as you said to me, the weather is hot and must be affecting your reading GN post skills!!

Madgran77 so a grandfather misreading the signals and getting ove- boisterous with a grandchild is child abuse?

What should we do? lock him up with all those paedophiles and those who systematic abuse children and throw away the key?

Yes, his DGF was silly, he upset his grandson for a short period but the child later on agreed to a water fight and told his mother it was fun.

Never mind *madgran77, I do understand, the weather is very hot and the heat is affecting your judgment.

Madgran77 so a grandfather misreading the signals and getting ove- boisterous with a grandchild is child abuse?

What should we do? lock him up with all those paedophiles and those who systematic abuse children and throw away the key?

Yes, his DGF was silly, he upset his grandson for a short period but the child later on agreed to a water fight and told his mother it was fun.

Never mind *madgran77, I do understand, the weather is very hot and the heat is affecting your judgment.

Chewbacca

There was a water fight. A child cried. A man sulked. There was another water fight. Child and man enjoyed it.

End of story.

? brilliant. ??

Children need to learn about people's actions and reactions, it's how they cope with life and growing up. Men sometimes can't cope with people crying and react badly. But your GS had a water fiht with his GF so things are OK between them. He told his mum GF made him sad, and perhapshe was for a little while, but I bet he got another cuddle!
Just one warning. Children remember, so next time your DH is sitting in the sunshine I hope he finds it funny when DGS turns the hose on him!

Think you're talking about my husband. He done this sort of thing a few times with the GC. He loves to see them but is short on patience and he can sulk. I've pulled him up a few times over the years for this, but he still does it occasionally. Luckily they still come, he hasn't put them right off.

I think you are over reacting as well Littleswan just let this go. I'm sure your husband will be more careful next time. They obviously got over it as they had another water fight later.

I wouldn’t make too much of it as they enjoyed a game afterwards.
I do find that a lot a men , all ages, are keen to play with a child/ children . They get them all excited but get fed up before the child. Then they tend to get grumpy and cross with the child because they want to carry on the fun. Seen it happen so many times.

My husband has reacted similarly, if a game has resulted in crying. It’s usually the granddaughters. They’re not as robust as the boys, and sometimes my husband forgets that. He’s basically embarrassed. He doesn’t shout or anything, but he’ll make another joke of it, and make it even more awkward ?.

The silly thing is, all the grandchildren absolutely adore him, and can get quite upset if it’s just me sometimes.

Don’t make this bigger than it is. Lessons have to be learnt on both sides. Your husband has to understand to back straight off, if something upsets his grandchild. Equally, the children have to learn that everything is ok, and grandad/ granny didn’t mean it to upset them. They thought it would be fun.

I wouldn’t bring it up again and if the child mentions it again concentrate on the later water fight or it will become far more than it needs to be.

I do tend to over analyse things as I hate any confrontation.

Grandpa's feelings are hurt , abuse - such nonsense!!!?

Complete over reaction! Try not to analyze this situation, it was unfortunate but not the end of the world!! Grandpa shouldn't have sulked but probably felt awkward about what happened and didn't know how to deal with the situation. Grandpa like many others don't always find it easy to step into the shoes of a five year old. You were there to comfort your grandson , he will of course recover. In the grand scheme if things this is is no importance whatsoever. My advise is to forget it!