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How do I discipline step-grandchildren - help please

(61 Posts)
Grandmabatty Fri 13-Aug-21 18:55:01

Definitely put breakable objects away. Ask their mum what they like to eat to help with meals. If they don't want it, not your problem. " You don't want it? Oh dear. Perhaps grandpa can find you something else." Children do run about, that's the nature of them. If you don't like it, then you need to distract or get them to help you bake something. Do you have toys they can play with? Perhaps you should remember an appointment you have to go to? Smile and smile, even through gritted teeth. I feel you are being very negative before the visit. Be prepared and it might not be as awful as you fear.

Nanna58 Fri 13-Aug-21 18:53:49

Oh dear , it really doesn’t sound as if you like being a step- grandmother. Not sure if you have any children \grandchildren of your own, but if the children are small I think you may be expecting too much in the way of behaviour. I am a step mother to three and a step grandmother to four, so would say try to loosen the iron grip a little and throw yourself into enjoying them, you may be surprised at how much your relationship with them can bring.

eazybee Fri 13-Aug-21 18:51:10

Do you have children/grandchildren of your own?

Why invite the grandchildren of your partner, (be careful, not your step-grandchildren unless you are married to him), to your house if it is not shared with your partner, and you are so clearly predisposed against them?

BlueBelle Fri 13-Aug-21 18:47:15

I just wanted to answer your title question ‘how do I discipline step Grandchildren ?’
You don’t discipline someone else’s children

BlueBelle Fri 13-Aug-21 18:41:57

Well I d rather stay away if I was your step family as it sounds as if you’ve made your mind up before they ve even stepped foot in your doors
Do all the things you are wanting to do and I would think that’s the last time granddad will have an opportunity to have his grandkids round
You don’t say how old they are or how long they are staying
But if they re small and you have breakables or valuable items put them away somewhere for the duration or lock the door to the room you want to keep clear of kids
As for food not everyone will like the food you like presumable this is a short one week or weekend holiday and not an extended time with you so let the mum do their food and stay out the dining room when it’s their turn to ear then you won’t be irritated by them and it ll give you a break too
Let granddad do the entertaining and playing with them let him take them out and about as much as possible to local places kids will enjoy ( farms, zoos, play parks etc) tire them out but bite your tongue for a short time we all have some things we just have to ‘get through’
Hope it’s not as bad as you are expecting

Hetty58 Fri 13-Aug-21 18:37:22

Why do you feel the need to impose discipline? Every family have their own version of 'acceptable behaviour' so, apart from everyone staying out of the sitting room, I'd accept them just as they are - for one short visit. Earplugs might be useful, though!

I'd make sure there are plenty of things for them to do, like drawing and craft materials, also suggest their parents bring a few favourite foods along.

Septimia Fri 13-Aug-21 18:35:53

improve with age!

Septimia Fri 13-Aug-21 18:35:09

Tricky situation. Obviously you don't want to seem inhospitable but, as you say, it's your house. How you deal with it depends partly on the ages of the girls. Older ones may respond better to what you say, younger will, with luck, inprove with age!

Perhaps you could pick one or two things that you want to deal with first. For example you could say that running about (preferably without the screaming!) is to be done in the garden only.

As for the food, it may be that the foods that you normally enjoy are outside the girls' experience and are unfamiliar. I know my son's family eat different foods from us. Could you find out what foods the girls do enjoy and serve those once or twice during their visit.

If they come again, you could add in another 'rule' for them to get used to.

Newatthis Fri 13-Aug-21 18:33:19

Not being a step-mum I don't feel qualified to answer. I do agree that it is your home and your rules. perhaps ask their parent what they would prefer to eat and if they don't eat it then that's their choice. Lock up your precious items - it's only for a day or two. I would think their parents are probably nervous and maybe this is why they are given toys at mealtimes in the hope that this will occupy them. Do you have a garden as I think next week we are in for some good weather so maybe outdoor play, if not a local park.

aggie Fri 13-Aug-21 18:29:49

What ages are they ? , can you lock the sitting room door ? You seem to know their eating preferences so why not go along with it ?

JillN Fri 13-Aug-21 18:26:00

My two step-gds and their mum are coming to visit next week. I know they are a bit wild - they get over-excited and charge around screaming and I've said I don't want them to go into the sitting room where I have some (to me) precious and breakable stuff. This is my house, not shared ownership. My partner (their grandfather) is cross that I am disparaging his gds' behaviour. And they are awful at meals - toys to distract them at the table, take forever to eat anything, ask for food other than what has been prepared for them. I am tempted to come in heavy and say 'my house, my rules' - no toys at the table and if you don't want this perfectly appropriate home made food, fine, but no I'm not making you anything else,' but I know it will lead to bad feeling. To be honest, I am dreading their visit.