Buying presents for step grandchildren

Did you not buy a gift when the baby was born?
I would not spend a large amount on a baby for christmas.
I agree with the others, if you always give similar amounts to your four grand children then I think you should do the same for the step grand children.
My grandson has a three year old little boy and his partner has a three year old little boy, he gets a present the same as all the other kids in our family

Treat them all the same, it’s the only way to go.

Jaylucy- a comment that 'moneys a bit tight' is so wrong- it just gives those kids the idea that "they don't qualify" to have as much spent on them as the others do- they're only 13 & 14- and might not understand much about cash flow etc yet- but they would know about feeling hurt or left out unless all treated fairly.If moneys a bit tight, then allocate what you can afford to spend on all 7- then divide by 7 and spend that amount on each child. You can always tell all your own AC that 'presents are only for the kids this year'- I'm sure they would understand, and they would rather all the kids benefit.?

I had an ex MIL who didn't even get much for her own ACTUAL grandsons birthdays & christmases- just cause she disliked me- she once gave him a farm truck that she'd picked up with her shopping at morrisons (they were about £2) and its not like she was short of money either! But gave all her other sons&DD's kids loads- Im grateful my youngest sons GP have never treated either of them differently in that respect, and always got them both (and youngest dd too when she was younger) gifts and now gives the 2 youngest (18&22) the same amount of money for birthday & xmas.& cards too.

If you ahve not really met the step GC, I think that it's right that you at east acknowledge them, if it is only with a small gift or a voucher /gift card.
I think that they will understand at this point that they may not be seen as part of your family quite yet, but to completely ignore them would be wrong. Personally, even something like a selection box or maybe a gift that is classed as a "stocking filler" would be fine, and maybe enclose a card to each, welcoming them to your family and that you didn't want them to feel excluded - depending on their age, even a comment that money is a bit tight at the moment wouldn't be wrong!

I am a stepgrandparent My budget is equally divided

When it comes to presents we treat our step-grandson, who came into our lives when he was 8, just the same as we do the other five grandsons, but we didn’t start to do this until we’d checked first with his dad that none of the birth grandparents would mind. It would be easy to cause hurt if, for example, you’re giving more than the grandparents can afford to.

Don’t overstretch yourself financially though. As others have said, decide what you can comfortably afford to give, then divide it by the number of children.

Whatever you do please treat them all the same! I have been on the recieving end of this and it has made life quite difficult.
I had 2 children aged 6 and 4 when i met my husband. My children were accepted and treated ‘quite’ well or so I thought until my husbands brother married and started having children. The difference in the way my mother in law treated his children was sick making and SO obvious to anyone including my children . Huge , expensive presents(new bikes, pedal cars, dolls houses etc) appeared at xmas and birthdays which my children saw being given. They are now grown up with their own children and don’t have a relationship with my parents in law, neither do my grandchildren and never will.

This is an accurate depiction of me and knickers from my nan.

You wont need to get the baby much this year, so maybe clothing too, or a nice 'my first christmas' gift- and next year maybe a couple of toddler toys- but still give the others a gift or two- or even a gift card by then in a christmas card for their fave shop or sportswear shop, to spend how they please, but always same amount.

Spend the same on all the children, it’s the only way to keep everything nice and have no drama or ill feelings, family things can turn sour very quickly. It’s also nice to do it that way as they are children.

Never heard of 'applecatcher knickers' and my late mum knew most of the 'speaks' of the times??

Please don’t make the mistake of treating the step grandchildren differently. I had two daughters when I met my DH. His family never treated ’my’ girls the same as our daughter who arrived a year after we married. MIL always seemed surprised that my daughters were around, even though I had explained that their father showed no interest in them, but she spoiled the youngest and the older girls got nothing. They still remember nearly 30 years later.

I have a lovely step grandson who is 18 soon. I have always treated him exactly the same as my 2 grandsons including giving him a small lump sum over and above birthday and Christmas gifts every year. He is 18 this year and has a lucrative part time job while studying I will give him money for his birthday but how much given that a present will probably also be expected at 21? Do i then carry on giving him the small lump sum annually ? What about future birthdays and Christmases? I am also concerned that I dont want to 'out do' his real grandparents as I dont think they are in the same financial position as me. Would welcome any advise on this predicament. Thank you

NainDylan surely applecatchers are the same as ‘harvest festival’ knickers….as in All is safely gathered in!
To the point though I agree with posters who say that step grandchildren are family and should be treated the same.

Yes, treat them same, for teens i suggest something to wear, like a hoody or something or a sweatshirt or jumper- maybe you could ask their mum their sizes and who or what they like-? I.e. their current faves, like a certain film or show character, (bands or film franchises are popular) or fave colour? Or a new backpack or clothing from sportswear shops etc- it shows you care about them too.

I would buy an "appropriate" present for the baby and then share the rest of your budget equally amongst the other grandchildren including the partner's children - they should be treated as part of the family and any presents they get from others is completely irrelevant.

Hi I also have 4 grandchildren and one of them is a step grandson. I’ve also being in your position so I understand where you are coming from. I have seen it on both sides My oldest son as a daughter from his 1st wife so when he met his 2nd wife my granddaughter was 3 and her family never bought my granddaughter a thing. She is nearly a 11 now and still haven’t bought her a thing. My son and his wife also have a child and my granddaughter looks when her sister gets all these things. But you can’t tell ppl who to buy for. So when my youngest son met his wife who also had a son from her 1st marriage. I was in your position so I decided that I would buy him and my son also now as my grandson with his wife and I buy them both because I’m not cruel. I do spend a little more on my grandson.

Treat them all the same!

I'm curious; what are applecatcher knickers?

My husband has a son when we married, he's 45 now and recently we were talking about my mum who's long passed, he said your mum was Fabulous she always treated me the same as our two children, he said he always remembered first time they met she bought sweets for him, she always treated all children equal, and i treat all my grandchildren they same (step or biological)

I don’t buy anyone Christmas presents. It’s a custom I don’t wish to follow. People who spend what they can’t afford are not doing anyone a favour. I bought my own 4 children a sackful of presents each Christmas. They are now adults. They get a Christmas card. The 7 grandchildren and 14 great grandchildren get a hug if they visit me. But I DID purchase 4 x laptops for kids use during school lockdown and not one of them phoned or texted to say Thanks. Their parents did though. Heartfelt thanks as the arguments about whose turn it was to use the family lap top had had them at screaming point. !!!
Oh and step grands? Do you know I’m unsure ? Unsure which ARE steps. Does it matter?

I’ll have a step DGC by Christmas. Since my daughter met her fiancé, we’ve treated him exactly the same as the DGC. He has no family in this country apart from his parents and loves being included.

Divide the money you spend on the others equally to include them. It wouldn't be fair to leave them out. Or just get them at least something, rather than nothing. They're your grandchild's siblings after all.

They're part of your family now so I would treat them all the same whether you know the step grands much or not, seems only fair and will avoid any future ill feeling. Also nice for son's girlfriend to feel she and her children are being treated the same as others and welcomed into the family.