How often do you see GC 1 hour away?

Thank you SaraC. Maybe we will patch things up

Hello there,
My DGC live about 45 minutes away from where I live, I see them both twice a week, normally stay the whole day for both days.

Mine only live 10 mins away and as I provide childcare I see him 3 to 4 times per week and he occasionally stays for a sleep over, he’s 3 next month and he’s a little beacon of joy in my life

As a fairly new grandparent of 2 years I would say the general rule is (and this is borne out by many friends and family) - maternal grandparents see their grandchildren double the amount of times as paternal grandparents!

I care for my 2.5 year old granddaughter while her parents work sharing this responsibility with her other grandparents (Only me so it is a bit harder). I have done this since she was about 12 weeks old. Gas is expensive and I am on a tight budget so my son gives me gas money at the start of every month or I could not do all that driving.
I do Mon/Wed/Fridays and they do Tuesday and Thursdays. I drive about 3/4 of an hour on those days to do this. I am 65 and am getting tired as I have some health issues. I cared for my grandson after schools and during days off he is now 11 so I see him about once a week. Other grandchildren I have live so far away I may only see them once a year!

We see the younger ones 9 and 10 yrs about once a week . It used to be more frequent but the older they get the less you are needed, but that's life

I see my local toddler GC 3 or 4 times a week for several hours. The older ones (2 hours away) come in school holidays, usually for a week. They came for a fortnight this summer.

My older GC -now all in their teens- I see rarely but I don't mind that- they have their own lives now & when we do see them is is always great fun.
The 3 younger ones I see pretty much as often as I want- I used to pick them up from school every Friday but do not do so often now since my son is working from home & can get them & also now the petrol situation down here in the Southeast.
I just think that we need to appreciate the times we do see them.

When my own children were young we had to go to my MiL’s every Sunday for tea. We all hated it and she could be so nasty if we missed a week. We came home from holidays early and refused offers of Sunday lunches and teas. I ended up pleading with my elder son to go, just to make my own life easier. Once he started GCSE’s he flatly refused.
When my son had his own family I told him to just pop over whenever, I didn’t want he and my DiL to feel as I had for so many years.
They live 30 mins away and I visit if it’s convenient for them but except as an emergency (loo stop) wouldn’t dream of going unannounced.
Enjoy whatever time you have with the GC but don’t ever put pressure on them to visit.

Socksandsocks01 - so sorry, your situation sounds really painful, Yes, do send gifts and cards and keep in touch independently if you can but keep it light. You will have built a tremendous bond with your grandchildren having had a lot to do with them when they were little. They will be upset, on some level, by the family schism. I do hope that, once the anger dies down, there will be am opportunity for reconciliation.

I’m so lucky, my two little boys live four doors away so I see them several times a week.

I live 10 mins away from my youngest grandchildren who are 3 and 9 and see them almost everyday because my daughter brings them, I don’t call in on her unexpectedly as she works from home and wouldn’t want to risk interrupting
We moved to be closer to her when we retired so we could help out
and I know how lucky we are as we used to live a hundred miles away and only saw them once a month as we were all working full time
And by the way we get on really well with our son in law and he regularly pops in unexpectedly on his own for a cuppa

I find it interesting that the OP asked specifically how often people saw their grandchildren who lived an hour away but many of the answers are from people who live around the corner.
I was interested in the replies as my GC live a way away but I have had to trawl through all the replies which were not relevant.

One set of grandchildren - 17, 14 and 11 - live about 10 minutes away and we probably see the younger two about two or three times a fortnight. The other set of grandchildren - 19 and 16 - live about an hour’s drive away and I see the younger one probably once a month but as the 19 year old is in university we always see her when she comes home at the end of each term, but more often through the summertime.....probably once or maybe twice a month. But we do stay connected with their lives and their sporting activities through their parents. We also try and organize a big family dinner altogether at our home two or three year to keep all the grandchildren connected with each other. It’s a bit of a squeeze because our home isn’t that spacious, but I think it’s important to gather everyone together around the table and take advantage of reconnecting as a family.

My grandchildren and their parents lived with us for about the first 8.5 years. Things became difficult for the last 2-3 years because of friction between us. Since they moved out things have improved immensely - our culture doesn’t lend itself to the inter generational family living happily under one roof unfortunately. My own child has worked very hard at keeping us all together and seeing each other very frequently despite a demanding job. Their partner also seems to be more accepting of us too and recognises how helpful we can be with childcare issues. I doubt I could have lived with my MIL for 8.5 weeks, let alone years, so I’m happy with the way things have worked out, grateful to see my child and grandchildren whenever I can and also grateful that technology allowed me to see them during the worst times of lockdown. I don’t use social media (WhatsAp, Twitter, etc) but FaceTime has been a real boon.

My dh and I had a special guardianship for our gd, she came to live with us when she was 6 under very traumatic circumstances. She is now 21 has a flat with her partner and keeps in contact by text, phone or a visit.

Only son, only granddaughter. Don’t live that far away geographically but in London. Very close to my son but with Covid we’ve probably only seen each other 8 or so times in the last couple of years since baby was born. Speak/ email/ FaceTime frequently. We do contribute financially towards childcare,as unable to help in person. Adore them all, but they have busy lives and we wish them well.

My DH and I are very lucky as we look after our four year old granddaughter every Monday and Friday and also see her and our DD and SIL sometimes at weekends for Lunch. Our DD, and occasionally SIL, stays for a cup of tea and a chat when she is picked up. We were devastated during lockdown when we couldn’t see them, hence my username as that’s when I first joined Gransnet. I am no longer sad , far from it, but don’t know how to change my name. However, I think I will be when she starts school next September.

I'm the same as gilld69. All the time when little. But I felt I shouldn't visit as often in later years as it was always inconvenient apparently. They grown up but always expected me to go pick them up. Sadly after a row months ago I was told to stay away. I knew they would be brain washed eventually. But at least when they were little I got them away from their draconian parents. So the question now is shall I still send gifts and cards or cut all ties as I have been told to do.

I have 4 gc, dd1 has 3 aged 15, 11, 6 they live 2 roads away if I didn't go to there house I would never see them until Xmas, I looked after them when they were little whilst parents worked but now in school it's rare they come here, I go once a week, dd2 has a 20 month old I see him few times a week I look after him 1-2 days whilst they work, he's at the wants to see nana stage so luckily see him often .

Hi
I don't drive so the bus to see them is about an hour and 15 without a hold up.
I see them once a week. With one lot we go swimming on a Saturday , just me and two of the children and with the other daughter I pop to hers to see them or book an event. Sometimes I coincide the trip but that can be tiring, so usually bus twice a week.

Rarely. ?

Nannashirlz

Well mine don’t live that close but I see them every couple of months but they live 200 miles away. But my sons video call me every week. So little ones can see me but I’m moving soon to be near them. My oldest granddaughter is 10 so I text/call whenever want and has her phone turned on lol but my son and her mum are divorced. So it would depend on your circumstances.

I hope that your move goes well @Nannashirlz, it really was worth the upheaval for us and for our family and all our lives are fuller because of it.

I rely on my children to make the move to visit or to invite, ask to babysit etc. I’d hate them to feel as I did growing up that I had to visit my parents out of duty. It works out about once a month and they live two and a half hours away.

An hour away is quite a journey for young children, it takes a while to get them ready to travel and you have to make the journey at a time of day to suit everybody. I'd like to think that we'd see them quite a lot but suspect that, particularly if the DP are working, we might not. Weekends are precious family time for working parents and visits from GP can become a chore.