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Grandparenting

How often do you see GC 1 hour away?

(106 Posts)
Nurseryrhyme Fri 08-Oct-21 03:57:48

I hope this is an appropriate place to ask but I'm interested to know from those of you who live approximately an hour away from your grandkids, how often do you see them and for how long? Particularly interested to hear from those who's grandchildren are still little tots.

cc Sun 10-Oct-21 11:44:23

Slightly off theme but we used to live a couple of hours away and rarely saw my DS's children, though I did help with childcare for some weeks in the summer, they visited a few times a year and we saw them at some stage over Christmas. DIL is very close to her mother and she is naturally the first in line which I am happy with.
However when my (single) daughter decided to adopt two young siblings we chose to move to be closer and now see them most days. We also help with childcare when her normal arrangements break down due to illness or whatever.
It all depends on the temperament of your DC. Our DD is pleased to accept help when she needs it but I know that the same is not true of all.
We had a straightforward conversation with her before we sold our old house and would not have moved if she regarded our move as intrusive or unwelcome. She has since moved house to gain an extra bedroom and is even closer than before.
For us this works, but some DC would find having their parents this close would be oppressive.
I imagine it is possible that she might meet someone and move, leaving us here, but we would accept that as inevitable though we would miss them all.

SillyNanny321 Sun 10-Oct-21 11:41:00

See mine usually every 2-4 weeks depending on if my DS can visit on a Sunday while DDiL works. If I have enough cash left over after bills I may get a Taxi the 20 miles to visit them once a month. I am just so grateful to be able to to see them as much as that. My Ex never bothers & other Nan is ill so does not see them either. DDiL’s Dad helps with childcare as he is fit enough happily! Between work, school events & occasional days off there is not a lot of time left to socialise as must be the case for many young families now!

Maidmarion Sun 10-Oct-21 11:38:33

Sadly, rarely … they are five thousand mikes away ?

Silvertwigs Sun 10-Oct-21 11:37:21

Nurseryrhyme Mine are not tots anymore but still the apples of my eyes!

My 19year old granddaughter lives with me and my 23 year old grandson lives several hours away in the IOW. It’s a long sad story but thank goodness for grandparents at times.

Nannashirlz Sun 10-Oct-21 11:24:42

Well mine don’t live that close but I see them every couple of months but they live 200 miles away. But my sons video call me every week. So little ones can see me but I’m moving soon to be near them. My oldest granddaughter is 10 so I text/call whenever want and has her phone turned on lol but my son and her mum are divorced. So it would depend on your circumstances.

Yearoff Sun 10-Oct-21 11:21:43

I do childcare for my tinies. Pick up the oldest two from school twice a week, have my second youngest two days a week while his mum works (starting nursery so I’ll be on nursery pick up after that) and I visit my oldest daughter twice a week to give her a hand with the two young ones. I’m very fortunate to not be working while they are so little (widowed and just having some time to recover from caring ). I think I probably see my GC more than most.

LovelyLady Sun 10-Oct-21 11:14:25

I see spell and grammar check has been busy on my post. Still you get the idea.
Best wishes to you x

Jeannie59 Sun 10-Oct-21 11:12:56

Mine all live in the U.S and Oz
So not very much. almost 2 years since I flew out to Oz and had quality time with my youngest grandchildren
Really heartbreaking

Modompodom Sun 10-Oct-21 11:12:52

As part of a bubble with my daughter’s family during various lockdowns, I usually saw them once a week either on Saturday or Sunday, depending on their commitments. We have continued with this routine, but sometimes they are busy all weekend and I may pop round in the week instead. I always wait for them to invite me, but sometimes I suggest going out for a meal or ordering a takeaway, and that might be on a different day. I am also on call for school pickup or babysitting now that the eldest two are living away or at Uni. As for my other two grandchildren, they live in Italy, so that is another story.

LovelyLady Sun 10-Oct-21 11:12:47

Ours live a 10 min walk.
We are still being Covid aware with family not coming into our home fo 2 years. No hugs or family gatherings. Very sad but we’re are all keeping very. They do garden visits briefly 10 - 15 mins a couple of times a week. They did what’s app when COVID was new.
Don’t know if this helps. They have the other Grandparents 7 hours journey to see them and they sometimes stay there. I never ever criticise and only speak fondly of them.

Amalegra Sun 10-Oct-21 11:09:32

I live about fifteen minutes (walking) from my daughter and my four grandchildren ( three gc, one step gd). I see them 3-4 times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. She was a single mum for years with her first two and she and her partner have one between them as well as his little girl who has always lived with him. My daughter leant on me for support a great deal with her first two and does so now, I suppose as her in-laws are younger than me, still working and busy while I am retired. As I am on my own now I have plenty of time. My grandchildren regularly stay with me (in various combinations!) and I am happy to have them. I lived several hundred miles from my own parents and they sadly rarely saw my children as they did not like travelling and lived in a tiny rural cottage so staying with them was nigh on impossible and used to stress my mum greatly if we did. Similarly, I did not see much of my own grandparents as my parents moved away from their home town to the other side of the country when myself and my sister were small. I was always determined to be present and active in my gc’s lives, where possible (my daughter and her partner are are happy that I am so no friction!). I appreciate that many people would say I am TOO present in my children’ lives ( I have two other children but no other gc-yet!). but I am on my own by choice with two disappointing marriages behind me, am fit, active and happy at (nearly!) 65 and feel that I am a valuable part of the family network and I think that my children and grandchildren are always pleased to see me, as I am them!

mumstheword86 Sun 10-Oct-21 11:08:53

Just have to play it by ear Are they asking for help for child care or are they wanting you to get a relationship with their granny and grandad it’s a difficult one We think that they need to spend time with their parents at weekend due to work commitments during week so never make demands to see grandchildren during then
Can only judge what’s right or wrong with individual family situations
FaceTime is a great tool and we use it lots to keep in touch Distance is also a factor so that’s a big thing that will cause problems Years ago families lived in same town same road but it’s not so common now Keeping in touch is very important and helping out if you can in any way they want you to and you feel you can goes both ways Good luck in finding what works for your family!!

win Sun 10-Oct-21 11:08:25

I think we re talking to ourselves. LOL

Yammy Sun 10-Oct-21 11:06:24

Mine live at the other end of the country but we facetime at least once a week and message when we need to.
It's enough for me after having a demanding MIL I had to move away from, they have their own lives to live.

Awesomegranny Sun 10-Oct-21 11:02:36

One daughter lives twenty minutes away, but due to 3 days in nursery once or twice a week if I’m lucky. Recently not been so often due to all the colds and sick bugs being caught at nursery. I tend to leave them alone at weekends for their own family time. My other daughter with teenage children are an hour and a half away but I will visit maybe once a month. Anything less and I’d be disappointed, always seems to me doing the journeys due to sport and drama groups to fit in .

Cossy Sun 10-Oct-21 11:01:12

Our lovely child son lives just over an 1:15 hours away, his mum and dad work full time, as do I - we normally meet up at least once a month, call or FaceTime every week, and try and holiday altogether for a few days each year. Nowhere near as much as we’d like to see them, but they have other family to see and both DH and I have elderly parents responsibilities

NanaPorsche Sun 10-Oct-21 10:49:39

I see my granddaughter 3 times a week. Two times - childminding at her home (I leave at 6.20am and get home at 7pm) and one 4-5 hr social visit at my home (weekend). The journey is an hour.

My other grandchildren live 10 min by car and I see them 4 days a week. (Two child minding days at my home which includes school drop off and pick up) and two social visits at the weekend.

They are 11 months, 18 months, 21 months and 5yrs.

janipans Sun 10-Oct-21 10:47:38

My GC live 55 mins away (on a good day!) and I look after my granddaughter one day a week, plus occasional babysitting. Other granny also does 1 day - save them a lot on childcare and we're happy to see our GC's. Also get together for all the "occasions" and try to go out with them (eg going to a farm or play centre etc) occasionally too.
Got my reward when went with mum and GD to collect GS from his new school and as he appeared in the playground he shouted out "look! There's my nanny, my nanny's here" with a wave and a massive smile. (... then dropped his bags and ran off to play with his friends!!) Granny bliss!

dahlia08 Sun 10-Oct-21 10:47:04

I am about similar position of Kim19. An hour or 3/4 of an hour away from them. We’re not going during covid. Started again . This time I am doing Monday as nursery is closed. From Monday to Wednesday or Thursday. Even mum is working from home sometimes. Afternoon school run, dinner, bath, homework. I enjoy it. But I feel the tiredness when I come back home. A day of rest then.

Janetashbolt Sun 10-Oct-21 10:45:53

My only grandchild lives 3 hours away, both his parents and I work during the week. They all have a very hectic social life so I see him two or three times a year

Roxie62 Sun 10-Oct-21 10:41:46

My daughter lives 30 mins away. I see my grandchildren every week as I help out with childcare. My son lives an hour away and I see my grand daughter once a month. Would like to see more of her but difficult as we are all working. I hope to spend more time with them once I retire. grin

AJKW Sun 10-Oct-21 10:35:51

My Granddaughter lives 30 mins away, I look after her every Tuesday when my daughter works.
I will occasionally see her on a weekend when family come over for lunch, usually twice a month.

missymazda Sun 10-Oct-21 10:32:55

I see mine 4 times a week and it was probably more before they went to School. I feel incredibly blessed and don’t take it for granted.

littleflo Sat 09-Oct-21 11:44:15

We see ours about once a month to six weeks. We avoid visiting at weekends as I believe that is their time to be with each other.
We just send out a general invite to ours usually by text. ‘Anyone free for lunch on..’ type of thing. As for going to their homes, we wait to be asked. We are so lucky because they always make us so welcome.

They try to bring them up during school holidays or we will do a day out half way between us.

It is always easier if you have a good relationship with children and partners . When visiting our parents we alway got, “oh hello stranger” which put my back up.

Beauregard Sat 09-Oct-21 10:02:34

Ours moved an hour away in July. We've seen them every 3/4 weeks since then, usually just a quick visit when they're doing the rounds to see others.

Before that they lived 5 mins away and we saw them at least twice a week and were very involved with after school care, inset days, sickness cover and sleepovers. Real quality time spent with them during which we built a special bond.

We're thankful we had them close to us for 8 lovely years. So long as they grow up being happy, that's the main thing to us.