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Grandparenting

How often do you see GC 1 hour away?

(106 Posts)
Nurseryrhyme Fri 08-Oct-21 03:57:48

I hope this is an appropriate place to ask but I'm interested to know from those of you who live approximately an hour away from your grandkids, how often do you see them and for how long? Particularly interested to hear from those who's grandchildren are still little tots.

Tickledpink Fri 15-Oct-21 19:52:34

V3ra
The perfect solution, we too have a motor home and it’s useful for stopovers to see GC who live 75 miles away. It varies how much we see the GC, average once a month.

Mumben Tue 12-Oct-21 07:58:53

I am lucky, although it probably depends on how you look at it, but my Grandsons aged 8 and 12 are 10 min away and I see them on an almost daily basis as we provide before and after school child care, and if they don’t see me for a couple of days or we are away, then they FaceTime me . I love my relationship with my grandson, we are very close.

Treetops05 Mon 11-Oct-21 20:14:07

My DGS in just coming up to 2, and my daughter lives 50 minutes away on a good day. Some weeks we see them maybe twice or three times, but then go 2-3 weeks without seeing him.

They are financially struggling, as are we, so I find if I offer to meet for a wander and lunch or invite them to Sunday lunch I see him more. We can't help much financially, but we can manage a few meals.

Would we like to see him more? Of course, but with maintaining their home, baby and toddler groups etc they have lives which we have to fit around too

Juno56 Mon 11-Oct-21 09:55:33

I see my almost two year old DGD once a week for 4/5 hours as a contribution to the patchwork of childcare necessary for working parents. My journey takes me two hours each way by train and bus. It would be about an hour each way by car but I am no longer able to drive.

Hetty58 Mon 11-Oct-21 09:52:40

Nurseryrhyme, it's not a competition is it? I see a lot more of some grandchildren than others - despite them being further away - as their parents don't work on weekends.

The ones I don't see so much do come to stay in school holidays, though, so there's some balance. I'm sure that nobody's counting!

TerriBull Mon 11-Oct-21 09:44:51

Our two do a weekend maybe once or sometimes twice a month. A duration that starts tea time Friday to after Sunday roast dinner, late afternoonish. We sometimes have them for a day or two during school holidays. We are about an hour away from where we live now. Before we moved we lived around 5 or so miles away, but being on the edge of London and at times when the traffic was bad that could take us as long to get to theirs as it does now 30 miles away. Mostly we have a pick up point halfway between the two destinations. We meet up with my husbands grown up grandchildren several times a year. They all live in London so again about an hour away. Last time we saw them was when they came down in the summer for lunch.

Jaxie Mon 11-Oct-21 09:40:17

I mostly see my grandchildren on FaceTime as they live many miles away. I am amused by one granddaughter, aged 14, who flits off if she is in the same room when I’m speaking to her mother. She’s probably trying to avoid that question,” And what did you do at school today?” I don’t believe I’m a boring person but if I haven’t got a funny story to tell them I don’t inflict myself on them. However, good manners should dictate that they at least greet me before they disappear from the screen!

Maggiemaybe Mon 11-Oct-21 08:52:37

We have three who live about 45 minutes away (two different households), and two 15 minutes away, and we see them all at least once a fortnight, either at theirs, ours, or meeting somewhere for a walk, etc. Four are at school so we see them more in the holidays when we look after them for odd days. The baby we see most often as we look after him one day a week. We all meet up at one or other of our houses for regular get-togethers as well - we’re very lucky.

Susiewakie Mon 11-Oct-21 08:12:21

I used to see my DGD 's every week and preschool had one or both every Wednesday. We lived about 45mins away then .ironically now early retired live in next village and term time see then one evening picking them up from school. In the holiday usually one preplanned outing and possibly a sleepover (which they always ask for ) Other Gran insists on every Sundsy lunch and Thursday after school so we don't see them much .

Speldnan Sun 10-Oct-21 21:37:28

The two near me are 8 and 5. I saw the first one 2/3 times a week for the first few years as I looked after him. When the 2nd came along my DD gave up work. After that I’ve saw them both once a week at least until the little one started school. Now it’s probably 2/3 times a month after school or weekend and in the holidays. They live an hour away so it’s enough really. I have 2 in NZ which I’ve only ever seen a couple of times ever and not sure about 3 years now- I barely know them…

tobyandsocks Sun 10-Oct-21 20:47:23

We have 4 Grandchildren we are the Grandparents in Laws...we have to ask our Son if we can visit 2 of them....and the other 2 Grandchildren ( from the other Son) have different Mothers......1 Grandson we see 3-4 times a week and the other Grandchild we hardly see even though they have the same Father.....due to the new partner....all live within walking distance from us...

LOUISA1523 Sun 10-Oct-21 19:48:52

I only live 10 mins away so can't really comment ..... I see 2 of mine 4 times a week and the other 1 once a week
...they are all 5 and under

DeeDe Sun 10-Oct-21 19:37:35

When they were small and lived nearby two or three times a week
For the afternoon, babysitting or shopping out all together
There grown with their own children now, some live abroad others long way away, we all chat via fb messages at least once every week or so.
Quite rightly they have their own busy lives now

Bugbabe2019 Sun 10-Oct-21 19:02:50

Buntymart

As a fairly new grandparent of 2 years I would say the general rule is (and this is borne out by many friends and family) - maternal grandparents see their grandchildren double the amount of times as paternal grandparents!

I see my GS far more than his maternal GM does
We both love the same distance away - 2 hours away. I make the effort to see him more!

NanaPlenty Sun 10-Oct-21 18:30:28

I think we do all have such differing expectations. I’m very close to my daughter and see her and the grandchildren most weeks when’s stay over. I consider myself to be in an exceptionally lucky position. My stepdaughter lives much nearer but we only see her and the grandchildren maybe three or four times a year as she is always busy with other things that are important to her and that’s ok but it does make a more distant relationship, we would like it to be different but it’s not all about us everyone has a right to choose how they live their lives.

Misty007 Sun 10-Oct-21 18:07:16

My granddaughter is 1 mile away i see her once a week for 4 hrs to mind her. Not much is it

red1 Sun 10-Oct-21 17:50:24

mine moved overseas 4 years ago used to see them 4/5 times a year, as time has gone on, maybe twice a year, i can see it getting less, travelling is exhausting, my take is, absence makes the ties weaker, but that is just me.

Sueki44 Sun 10-Oct-21 17:05:10

Reading your email again : son and family live 50 miles away ( London) and see them 4-5 times a year. ( less in Covid! )

Daisy79 Sun 10-Oct-21 16:48:28

There is such a range. I don’t think there is a normal or average.

I’m the current parent with young children. My in laws are 45 minutes away and we typically see them once a week. My parents are about 1.5 hours away and we see them about once per quarter. With my in laws, we see them for about 2 hours each time. With my family, we drive out first thing and leave with just enough time to get home for dinner or bedtime.

There is also more to the equation that distance. Personalities, schedules and norms vary family to family. I also expect this will change as my son gets older and his weekends are more scheduled with activities.

Elvis58 Sun 10-Oct-21 16:33:19

I live 3 hours from mine see them 4 times a year.

Gill9 Sun 10-Oct-21 16:15:37

I see my grandchildren regularly. The elder 4 (14,11,10,10) come on their own to see us. The other 5 are younger and can’t come on their own I have them all during the school holidays. 2 days a week they have a lot of freedom around my house. Park round the corner, friends down my street my garden is often full of 12/14 children

catta5 Sun 10-Oct-21 16:04:38

Sadly never thanks to D in Law all they wanted from me was money I gave them £10000 for their wedding and then no invite oldest grandson is 21 and lives in this city but is not allowed to see me ( he is spineless and mother is control freak
she even still stamps her feet if does not get her own way) But I know that I am not alone so we have the attitude what you have never had you just don't miss. After taking legal advise I have made a will and nothing will go to them everything to my 2nd son i had to leave a letter to say why I had done that and after having a heart attack and stroke they were saying they were entitled to half i have done the right thing

Esspee Sun 10-Oct-21 15:00:38

Beginning to think that was a good call BlueBelle. I won’t waste my time.

Nanniejude Sun 10-Oct-21 14:59:35

I see them every week for the day, an hour and half each way on transport but worth the effort. FaceTime in between, wish it was more

Bijou Sun 10-Oct-21 14:33:24

My three grandchildren are all over fifty. It is eight years since I have seen two of them in the flesh and last Christmas since the other one.
Two of my great children I saw eight years ago but I have never seen the six year old.
Thank goodness for FaceTime