Husband is reluctant grandfather

Yes lemsip they are

So your husband doesn't care for young children. So why force him to be with them?

Is your house really so small that your husband can't have the sitting-room to himself and you be somewhere else with the children?

Has he always resented you having visitors? Saying that you ignore hm when the children are visiting is rather unreasonable. As you say, young children cannot be left to their own devices.

A reasonable compromise would be not to try and involve him when the children are with you and to give your DH space and peace. Would he accept that, do you think?

A man who is jealous of the attention his wife pays to his grandchildren?
Resents any adult you are close to?
What sort of attention are you supposed to be paying him that you don't give him when the grandchildren are there?
Or is it he resents not being the centre of attention?
What a curmudgeon.
Don't give in to this.

sorry, crossed post

Are they your husband's grandchildren too?

Hi Bibbity
Yes he is the father of my daughter and he was ok when she was young
He seems to resent any adult I am close to so I think there is a problem there

But it's not the children is it? He has said it's because he is not having the attention. That is what makes him awful. He's a grown man. He doesn't need attention that much.

The simple fact is that not everyone likes small children - I readily admit that I don’t and would be irritated if I were in your husband’s position putting up with them and the noise they inevitably make all day and the disruption of normal routine so I can see where he’s coming from. He’s not an ‘awful man’ he’s simply being honest about his feelings and perhaps he also resents sharing you. Can’t you look after them at their home both days? I shall now don my tin hat and retire behind the sofa.

I am so sorry to hear you are forced to live with such an awful man.

Is he the father of your daughter? How was he when she was young? Does he allow you to interact with other adults or does he always demand your attention?

Can you move the other day to her house as well and start to make some distance with him?

Very odd OP I also look after my granddaughter one day a week my husband is working our office is attached to our house .He will very often pop out to see her
Grandads are usually a softer touch than grandmas and my husband adores all his grandchildren

He isn’t stopping you from having them at your house, so Id just tell him he’s being unreasonable and to stay out of their way. I’d tell him that bad temper and sulking won’t get him what he wants.

Having said that, is a lot of the problem that you want him to be as involved and enthusiastic as you are? That’s not reasonable of you. You enjoy small children, he really doesn’t. Not everybody does.

He may not mind them being there if you stop pressuring him to take part?

And if he does, tough on him!

Ah Notjustaprettyface that is sad for you.

I empathise with your situation and right now I cannot think of anything constructive ?but rest assured another Gran will read your message soon and have something to offer by way of advice.
I just didn’t want to leave your message unacknowledgeed?

Could you look after them at your daughter's house both days.

Oh dear, so sorry to read the predicament your husband has put you in. Carry on enjoying your grandchildren. Your husband sounds as though he is possessive with you and jealous of the time you are giving to your grandchildren. Can’t he join in and enjoy the time with them while they are at your house, after all it is only one day. I would ignore his sulking and meaningless comments, don’t let him make you feel bad about giving your grandchildren time and love. He is the one missing out for being so miserable. Good luck and enjoy.